RL to me is a living hell. There are two different mes: The online me and the RL me. The online me is crazy and insane but has a soft side. Sure, I can get pretty insane during executions and have fun too.
But the RL me is a quiet, hardworking, shy and autistic 15 year old high school sophomore in school, home, whatever. I try not to cry about what RL says about me. It can kick, bite, pull, and fight me all it wants to, but still I get up and keep moving. If I have issues, I'll get over it by listening to music, drawing and writing. Even though RL tells me 'Go to hell' and all of that stuff, I'll look at it in the eyes and say 'This is my life. I'll live it the way I want to live it. I don't want nobody else to control my life. Nobody else can't tell me what to do, say, or think in my life. I don't care if you cut, bite, bruise or stab me. I'll still get back up fighting. Even if it kills me.'
But remember this, even though life can make you despair...I'm the only girl that can bring hope. If you're feeling down and out or just having a bad day, come to me and we can talk a bit. If you feel despair, don't take it out on yourself. Harming yourself is not the answer. Talk to me about your day, good or bad and I may provide some music depending on your mood.

I disconnect myself from everybody else in the RP world and reconnect with you...in our world.
In our own private world where nothing can ruin it... Our sanctuary...
Where we can never be bothered...and be in peace in each other's presence...
No outside force can move us...not a single essence...
We will be able to create and form our presence in our world...
A section for me, a section for my girl...
He is the Angel to my Devil...
She is my light to the hardest levels...
And he is my darkness to the lowest levels...
When it comes to executions, we make a good pair...
And that will not change...
Nor will our victims fates...
And if we both die, we die together not only as lovers...
We die together as partners.
So as long as we are the King and Queen of our world...
Our sanctuary will be the safest anyone's ever heard...
As long as he is the trick to my treat...
Anything we work together on can become a massive feat...
As we each wear a crown on top of our heads...
Any who dare try and dethrone us will wind up dead...
So best beware...
For we are the Queen and King of despair...
We come in like a solar flare...
All bystanders can do is watch and stare...
As we give them a cold hearted glare...
Their hearts are stricken down by despair...
As we laugh as the King and Queen of despair.

Alright. *breathes* Babe, you need to calm down with your crying. I'll be your shoulder to cry on. I'm your girlfriend for the most part. And I myself don't want to see you or your characters despair anymore. If you and your characters feel despair, give it to me and I'll handle it. What can a Queen do without her King? Can she move heaven and earth to make him happy or let him and his characters despair until they break? What can a Mastermind like myself do without a Mastermind In Training like yourself?
1: A Queen can't do nothing without her King by her side.
2: She can move heaven and Earth to make him and his characters happy without despair.
And finally, 3: I can't do nothing without you, babe. Nothing without you. That's why you and me need to stay by each other's side, through thick and thin, good and bad. We both need to be there for each other. That's my answer.

My King, I am your Queen.....
I will always be by your side until the bitter end....
My King, I will protect you in battle...even if it means taking my own life.
Even if I have to fight....
Even if my heart breaks or my crown crumbles, I'll still be your Queen.
If you fall, I will fall as well....but I'll get back up fighting until my last breath.....
Even if I have terrible nightmares that make me go insane, I want you to be by my side forever.
Every day, I worry about your safety....and I ask myself 'Will my King be safe?' as I close my eyes and drift off to sleep.
But every time I fall asleep, I see you....my King.
You're right in front of me and then you disappear out of thin air.....
I'm then all alone in the nightmares of despair I have.....looking for a way out.
My demons come out to haunt me and I start to fall to my knees as they break me to the point of me going insane......
But I hold my chest in dire pain and scream out at the top of my lungs, crying for help.
But it echoes thought my mind, repeating my cries and pleads for help.....and I start to cry.
I'm crying on the inside as well as the outside, yelling, screaming, crying loudly to the point of where you touch me and wake me up.....
But it's no use as I continue to scream to the top of my lungs...
But then I stop my cries, screams and yells as you kiss me......
I then open my eyes and see you, my King, right in front of me.
'My Queen, what seems to be ailing you?', you ask me with worry in your voice.
Tears start to flow from my eyes as I hug you tightly and start crying my heart out.
You comfort me by saying 'My Queen, it's alright. I'm here for you.'
I then look at you, sniffling and crying with tears still rolling down my face.
You then wipe my tears away and say 'My Queen, I'm here for you. I will always be by your side.'
I sniffle as I wipe my eyes and say 'Do you mean that?'
You then caress my cheek, wiping the tears away, and says 'Yes, I do. I love you...my Queen.' before holding me close.
I do the same and close my eyes as we both hold each other into a warm embrace.
'My King...I love you.'

Your emotions can run free
When it hits you like an incoming curveball
You're angry when you're sad
You're glad when you're upset
But don't feel bad and don't feel like a threat
If you feel depressed instead of inspired
If you feel scared instead of brave
If you feel hurt instead of love
If you feel lonely instead of living your life
If you feel unsatisfied instead of blissful
If you seriously feel all of these emotions right now
Don't lock yourself away from the world
Don't be isolated from your life
Overcome your emotions and be you
Be yourself as you are in your own unique way

Alicia: You think you're a devil at my level?
Hell no, you're not! You would have be a rebel and devil to reach my level!
Honey, ever though you're a devil, I'm a way better devil and rebel.
Flash: Yo, yo, yo! My name is Flash!
Whenever me and my girlfriend clash,
We do it for cash,
Every room we walk into, we be classy,
My girl Alicia always be sassy!
Both:Being a devil and an angel is easy for us because we have our own squad.
As long as we got them, everything we do is not flawed.
We are true rebels at heart,
In which everything we do together is a work of art,
Nobody - and we mean nobody - can't stop our black art.
We be going on crime sprees, buzzing like bees,
Anybody that tries to seize us, it's over for you already!
You mess with us, you gonna get a curbstomp beatdown!
We being wearing crowns on our heads, rings on our fingers, chains around our necks,
So those that want to mess with us better hit the deck before we be breaking some necks!
If somebody tells us we aren't the King and Queen of Despair, we gonna put them in the air and them curbstomp them into the ground.
Even if the police surround us, we won't get arrested — we will just kick their asses
Word.

Demons.....they possess people and torment them for days on end.
Humans......we demons torture then until they're dead.
But what hell means to me is my never ending nightmares of my sister and friends dying, my sweetheart of a boyfriend getting killed by my mistakes, and most of all - killing myself.
And what hell means to me is making my dear Alicia suffer day after day. I want to see her broken of her own free will and begging for her boyfriend to come when she can't save herself.
The human, myself, represents the red spider lily. What the red spider lily means in the language of flowers is this: Never to meet again, lost memory, abandonment.
And the demon, myself, represents the black rose. What the black rose means in the language of flowers is this: Black is the color which has always been associated with death and the dark side of human nature. Death is not the only meaning attached to black roses.
But this is my definition of the red spider lily: People will never want to meet me again, my memory shall be erased and forever forgotten, and then people, including the ones I love, will abandon me and leave me out here to die in this violent filled world.
But here's my definition of the black rose: I, Alice, want Alicia dead. Because I wears black, I represent death. I want to keep torturing her until I take away her last breath, killing her. Every time her pathetic boyfriend and his brother kill me, I come back into Alicia's broken body stronger than before. I'll keep doing this until I take over her body......
How can I kill the demon inside of me without killing myself? Can I try to fight back Alice and save myself or get killed by Alice?
How can I break the human that I can take over her body without her trying to save herself? I'll make sure she can't fight back and save herself - if she does, I'm going to kill her.
However, my dreams and nightmares are made of despair.
I'll make her nightmares full of solar flares!
She thinks my life is a game.
And she thinks that she can burn me with a flame.
But here's the question that's on my mind. How can Alice even confine me if I'm already broken?
Here's the answer - I've already confined her in the depths of her swollen and darkened heart!
She wants to take my life and make it a dark black art.
She wants me dead so that I can't turn her into my own work of art!
What's it gonna be, Alice? Life?
Death?
Or my last breath?

Why won't everybody just leave me alone for once already?
I already feel a bit unsteady and depressed.
There's pounding in my chest, sadness in my heart and regret in my soul.
It's making me so stressed.

I just want to be alone... by myself and away from this hell we call "society".
Besides, it's bringing me enough anxiety.
I'm just a simple outcast in this high society world that everybody is living in.
That's the way this world has been.

All I want to do is break away from this hell and just go somewhere safe...
Because every single day of my goddamn life, I'm always unsafe..
So I'll say this again:
Why won't everybody just leave me alone for once already?