I felt the humid summer heat the minute I stepped outside. I regretted coming out here, but I needed to think, I needed some space. I normally did my thinking in Will's room, even when he was around. If I did then I could hear those two talking through the floor boards, and I didn't want to have to get into another argument with my mother if she decided to follow me upstairs. Walking aimlessly onto the sidewalk, not sure exactly where to go. I decided upon going to the nearest park to let off some steam.
I wonder what The Creep is saying to her right now. my mom's angry with me, maybe even disappointed; anything The Creep says will sound like the right thing to do. I may be sent away for real this time, just what The Creep wants. He wouldn't have to worry about me spilling the beans on him if I'm sent off somewhere.
When I arrived at the park there was no one around. It's six in the afternoon, most families leave around eight, but it's a Monday. They always leave earlier on Mondays.
I sat on the swing in the center of the swing set, it was my favorite. I swung for a while before I began to calm down from the events from earlier. Instead of dwelling on everything going on, I decided to remember the good old times.
My father wasn't around much for most of my life, but I remember Will saying that he was a pretty rad guy. He'd tell me how when dad was around they would travel everywhere the old bug would take them. Our dad was full of energy and life; he was the life of every party. He was the kind of person you'd assume has seen some pretty wicked s*** in his day. Our dad didn't like to stay put to one place, he couldn't stay still. I'm not really sure the reason he left, because I didn't really have a conscience to remember when he was here, but I've always had this belief, it's because he's out there experiencing something more. When I was young, when my mother started to date other people, I always believed that my father would appear one day and take me and Will on an adventure...permanently, but that day never came. I know not that our father had upped and left us.
I started to remember when my mom, Will, and I used to always come to this park whenever my mom was out of work, which was normally the weekends. We'd come in the middle of the night, laying down a blanket on the cold, grassy ground so we can lie down and watch the stars.
I think this is when Will started to love the stars. Out mom used to be so invested in us, she would teach us everything she knew. She even used to bail us out of school so we could experience something more, so we can see how the real world outside was along with the logical learning we were receiving from school.
The way my brother described my father was the same way I saw my mother, but soon enough I started to see her eyes change. they weren't filled with life anymore, they started to dull through the years. She started to change, bringing random men home. The longest they'd stay was a month after they ran off with most of our money.
Jeff has been with my mother longer than any of the other jerks she's dated, so long that she even married him. Oh god, Will needs to be here when it all falls apart though. Once they leave her she goes into this mass depression and becomes even more distant then she is now. the only person who could seem to comfort her was Will, she loves Will the most, probably because he looks like our dad.
My mind started to wonder back to the topic of Will and his disappearance. I haven't told my other yet, but I plan to find him no matter what. He's the anchor of our unstable family, he keeps us sane, he keeps us calm and without him it seems like every little thing pushes us to the edge. Our tempers have risen, and they keep rising, because we don't have someone there to remind us that we love each other, that we only have each other.
I have this theory that if I drive all the way to Idaho State, then I can find my brother's main man Travis. Travis has already been interviewed my the cops within the first week of Will's disappearance, but I have a weird feeling he's keeping something from us. Him and Will were the best of friends since their freshman year of high school, they were inseparable. They told each other everything, I was actually jealous of Travis because he was closer to my brother than I was. They kept everything on the down low, meaning they had tons of secrets between each other.
He's keeping something from us, from me, I know it, and I am going to find out what it is. I am going to have my own interview with him, press him up to a corner until he cracks. The fact that Will's room was trashed makes the whole situation smell fishy to me. I want my family to go back to the way it was, I want my brother back, but first I have to find out where he is. Feeling really determined and righteous I bolt up from the swing set and head straight for home.
When I got home the sun was still out, but the street lamps were on already, it must be seven. Not wanting my mother or The Creep to know I came back, I decided to enter through the side door which was closer to the stairs. I gently closed the door behind me and waited for the tiny click to be heard before I turned around to head for the bottom of the stairs. I didn't make it to the bottom of the stairs though.
"Can you tell me where you have been all this time?" I looked over to see my mother sitting at the kitchen table reading a book, trying to figure out how to plant tulips. It was like that overly used scene where you get home late and you think you're out of the dog house, only to find out that you're not. A light suddenly turns on and there sitting in the dark is your guardian. My shoulders slumped from their tense position; I looked over at her and sighed.
" I was at the park, I had to get something sorted out in my mind." I looked away then back noticing she was about to say something.
I spoke up first, "I know you're angry, and you have the right to be angry with me. I went too far. Can you let this one slide for today? I have some homework that I should go to bed early. If you decide later that you need to talk you'll find me in Will's room." The way I spoke towards her probably made her more mad, but when I looked back towards her, she nodded her head and sat back down continuing to read her gardening book.
I headed up to my room. I ignored my homework covering my desk as I sat down, I pushed it aside. I grabbed my laptop and checked the calendar. I sent an IM to Travis telling him I'm going to visit soon, closing my laptop soon after, not waiting for a response. I circle the first week of May on my calendar, I plan to go then. I start planning how I will get Travis to tell me what's up, to tell me the truth, writing everything down in my trusting leather back note pad. When I'm finished I decide it'll be best if I do start on my homework. I grabbed all of my papers and headed towards Will's room I'm going to find out what happened to him even if it means I have to play hooky.