The World Is So Much Madder | Teen Ink

The World Is So Much Madder

July 15, 2015
By Whovian-Pegasister, Frazier's Bottom, West Virginia
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Whovian-Pegasister, Frazier's Bottom, West Virginia
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Favorite Quote:
"I am an always will be the optimist, the hoper of far-flung hopes, and the dreamer of improbable dreams."--The Eleventh Doctor, Doctor Who, 'The Almost People'


Author's note:

When I first wrote this, I was trying my best to think of how a Time-Lord (or lady!) dealt with regeneration.  I ended up with this sequel to Groundhog Day, my other fanfiction with Ella and the Doctor.  At the time, I wasn't quite sure how the heart of the TARDIS worked, but then I watched 'Journey's End', another episode of Doctor Who, and after some editing, my story became how it is now.

  If you were to be in a situation that involved life or death, what would you do?
  Go on.  Take a moment to answer the question.
  If you answered ‘run’, where to? Answer again, if you will.
  Okay.  You’d run to your house were it is safe, like most people.  Now, imagine if you were entirely helpless for a minute.
  Masses of gold-orange energy happened to be seeping into your body, overtaking you, making you feel so fearful and crazy, so mad…but it was strangely wonderful at the same time.  Fantastic, even, yet the pain overwhelms you.
  You’d want to do the answer to our first question: run.  But you can’t run.  You’re stuck in the spot where you are regenerating.  You want to go and run and find someplace safe, you want to hug something and punch something at the same time…
  But you can’t.
  “When you’re a kid, they tell you it’s all ‘Grow up. Get a job. Get married. Get a house. Have a kid. And that’s it.’ But the truth is, the world is so much stranger than that. It’s so much darker. And so much madder. And so much better.”  The words would thrum through your mind, genius yet cryptic.
  Because they were true, especially about this situation.
  These are odd questions, dear reader, and you might agree.  But something like this supposed situation happened to be happening for real in the Doctor’s TARDIS on February 3rd, 2009, 7:05 AM.
  And of all the people of all the worlds, only two knew this was happening: the Doctor and Ella.
  The former of whom was experiencing all of this at this very moment.
                        -o0o-
  The mass of light dimmed, slowly, slowly. 
  Quickly, the Doctor shut the door which contained the heart of the TARDIS, cautiously not looking into it.  He grabbed Ella and laid her down on the fold-away bed.  The Kiroz-human girl was unconscious, the worst kind; were everything is dark, and you have no clue what’s going on.  She was still breathing, luckily. 
  Nothing good could possibly come of this…could there?
  She would be dangerously ill for a few days as the regeneration into a Time-Lord body took place. 
  He closed his eyes in remembrance. 
  It was terrifying, all of his own regenerations.  There was always some wobbliness, sickness.  Lots of fear.  The worst part was the nightmares. 
  Her nightmares would be so much worse.
  Really, by technicality, she’d be in the same body, just…well, smarter.  She’d get another heart, of course.  Possibly even know some of the Time War like most Time-Lords did, but that was impossible.  They were gone.
  And then there was the immortality. He had no idea how she would cope with that. 
  His friend, Captain Jack Harkness, became immortal after an incident with the heart of the TARDIS.  He took it lightly; his opinion? “Yay! I live forever, try and shoot me, I’ll be back!”  The Doctor supposed he could try and call him for advice, even though his type of immortality was different.  After dying, Jack wouldn’t regenerate, wouldn’t get a new look…but he’d wake up a moment later.  His heart would start back up again, he’d still remember most things, just not how exactly he was killed a second before.
  But why ask for advice from him?  It sounded rather foolish.  The Doctor knew everything about regeneration.
  Well, that was Jack, foolish personified.
  He rolled his eyes, refocusing them on Ella.  How long did it typically take for a Time-Lord to wake up for the first time after a regeneration?
  He’d know if he wasn’t the one who usually regenerated. 
  The Doctor attempted to remember.  If his memory was right, whenever he regenerated, at first he’d be all—loopy.  Because of the situation before.
  So, if she was going to be all—loopy, he wouldn’t be surprised if she had a panic attack to go along with it, being Ella.  Well, after that happened, he’d typically go back to sleep for the rest of the process to take place.  At least, that’s how he dealt with it last time.
  That would take about two days.  No big deal.
  He sighed, face-palming.  Poor kid.  She’d be asleep for two days, otherwise, she’d spout out some random, unnecessary information, and go back to sleep.
  Poor, poor Ella.  Gently, he swept some hair out of her face, trying not to disturb her but calm her down.  Fear was swelling in both of them, terrible fear that enveloped the girl. The nightmares would come as soon as she woke up accidentally, or as late as 12:00 at night, mid-development of the second heart. Well, at least, for her, since her body would have to deal with the sudden growth of a second heart of equal size with the first. In his case, usually, that would be when his hearts repaired themselves.  But in her shoes, the heart would still be growing. 
  He set his hand on her head, closing out his mind-reading ability, just trying to comfort her.  They could come any time now.
  That was really the biggie for the Doctor; they were the worst nightmares he had ever had during his regenerations.  Ella had at least one nightmare each night, so she was extremely used to it.   Yet, he didn’t want to see her suffer.
  She was a daughter to him.  At least, an alien/human, brilliant child whom he was surprised didn’t start traveling with him until now.  He cared about her.  And now, with her being in such a condition--
  A small groan reverberated from the corners of her mouth.
  He sighed in response.
  The pain she must be in!  Sometimes--no, always—it’d affect her during the nightmares, making it even worse.
  Now that he thought about it, he took his hand off of her head, thinking about the girl’s own mind-reading and psychic abilities native to the Kiroz species.  Would they be harmed? Strengthened, even, by the Time-Lord’s own psychic abilities? 
  He didn’t know.  Still, he figured that the only thing she’d retain from her half-alien heritage would be at least part of those abilities and the average temperature of the Kiroz, which ranged from 110° to 115° F.  Most likely she wouldn’t have any human-ness left…well, besides some blood cells, but they’d be mixed with the boiling-hot blood of the Kiroz species and the calmer Time-Lord blood. 
  The Doctor stopped, telling himself that he was thinking about it too hard.  He didn’t want to worry too much.  Besides, it might be fun, with Ella being a Time-Lord.  Finally, he’d have someone to teach things about his race to, someone who actually understood what he was feeling better than any of his other companions.  It’d be nice, like a younger version of him, but…kinder.  Definitely kinder, unless she was a bit hateful like one modern Time-Lord.
  (Not that there were a lot; just him, but his enemy had died.  That was who he was thinking of.)
  Another moan came out of her mouth. 
  “I know,” he said softly. “I’ve been there, too.”
  Suddenly, her eyes flung open. 
  She sat up, turning around, staring at the Doctor. “Oh, hey, Doc.  Where am I…by the looks of it, in the TARDIS, and—ha! A hint of February 3rd, the day finally changed!” She sniffed the air, like the Doctor, telling what day it was.
  “Um…hullo.”  His expression remained blank, with the slightest, barely unreadable bit of confusion in his eyes.
  “So, are we just in the middle of space—wait, I think we are.  Pretty sure.  But I can’t tell.  Oh well.  Hey, I’m hungry, is there anything in the fridge?” Her speech became rapid-fire.
  Do I really speak like that after my regenerations? He thought.  “You might want to lie down.”  It’d have to wear off in a moment. He couldn’t think of much to say, anyways. 
  “What? Why would I do that—yikes, it’s hot in here.  Not just that, why do I feel all wobbly?” She swayed ever so slightly, going pale, looking faint. The Doctor readied his arm, sure she was about to pass out, prepared to catch her if she dramatically fell in a different direction.
  She flopped over, the Doctor catching her head before it could slam down onto her pillow, as a hard impact would mess up the regeneration process.  (Even though it was a pillow.  The Doctor forgot that for a moment.)
  “That’s a good girl,” he whispered.

  Everything was dark.
  It was a dark room which seemed like it was nowhere. 
  And it was frightening.  Ella was alone, in rags, sitting in the darkness.
  It was terrible, overwhelming. She spoke within the darkness. “H-hullo? Where am I? D-Doctor?”
  She shivered.  There was no reply. 
  Honestly, she didn’t know why she was scared.  Probably the darkness and the aloneness, but there was something else.
  She felt a pain.  A terrible, jarring pain that was slowly taking her mind. “O-ow. Ow. Doctor!”
  Ancient knowledge was being planted in her mind, unbeknownst to her.

                       -o0o-
  The Doctor peered at his friend, noticing her fear.
  Curiosity implored him to walk over and comfort the girl, yet flashes of pain and images of darkness went through his mind.   Though, he couldn’t just stand there.
  Ella’s restless sleeping form turned in the fold-away bed, shivering terribly, scowling.  He pulled her blanket up and over her, listening close to see if he could pick up bits of the nightmare through her words without going into her mind.  Going into her mind could wreck the process.
   “D-Doctor…it hurts…” she murmured between panicked gasps.
  “What hurts? I can help,” he said, trying to understand.
  She rolled over in the bed. “Everything.”
  “Oh. What hurts most?”
  “I-I dunno…”
  His eyes darted to the ground, somberly. “I’m so sorry.  I’m right here, remember that it’s not real.”
  “What is real?” The words tumbled out of her mouth, a line from The Time Quintet series, her favorite series of science-fiction novels. 
  He sat down on the grated TARDIS floor.  “I don’t know anymore.”
  She shivered again.  “You’re still here, right?”
  “Yes.” He reached out for her hand so she could tell.  “I’m so, so sorry.”
  She squeezed his hand, a bit more conscious, but still asleep. “It’s not your fault, Doctor…it’s mine.  W-Why is it still so dark?”
  “Don’t worry, Ella.  It’s no one’s fault.  I’m sorry, but it’s going to be dark for a while.”
  “O-okay.” With that, she was knocked back into her sleep of endless nightmares.
                       -o0o-
  The Doctor sighed.
  It had been one day.  Not much longer, and she would be full Time-Lord.
  He had stressed himself out about it, not getting any sleep that night.  It was so much to think about.  He didn’t want her to be hurt, or scared, but she was.
  She had woken up a few times, mostly saying something crazy, but one time she just stared at the Doctor, tired.  Ella had looked up at him, and asked when all of this would be over. And he had said he didn’t know because it might not be two days; possibly three, at the rate her regeneration was coming along.  The second heart was not fully developed, knowledge not yet bestowed upon her.
  She had kept staring at him, and then asked if everything would quit hurting by then, if the nightmares would be over with.
  He had hugged her.
  And then she fell back to sleep.
                      -o0o-
  It had gotten darker. 
  What was happening?  Why? Questions swirled in her head, words thrumming.  It was colder. 
  There was a deep pain within her chest, within her heart.  As if it was splitting apart, but it was not, it was using some of the cells to form another, more Time-Lord heart.  But she didn’t know that. If only it would quit hurting!
  If only, if only, she thought.  Ella was already scared enough.  When would this end?
  “Soon,” she heard the Doctor’s voice. “Soon.”
A Brief Explanation Before This Chapter Ends
  The rest of the world knows nothing about Time-Lord regeneration.
  So, I thought it best to take a brief break from the story to explain some things, with the Doctor himself clearing things up. You know, in case this makes no sense or you haven’t seen a regeneration in ‘Doctor Who’ before. Because it probably doesn’t.  Even if my writing is pretty darn good (well, depends on what you think), I doubt this makes sense to most folks.  Not to brag.  I don’t like bragging.  Take it away, Doc.
  *Ahem* Um, hullo there. I’m the Doctor. (They know that! Tell them about regeneration!) Oh. Sorry.  I didn’t think I’d be talking to you today. So! Beginning the lecture now!
  Regeneration! Regeneration…when a Time-Lord gets involved in a life or death situation and is fatally wounded, they regenerate into a new body.  Their soul simply transfers along with them.  Simple as that.
  But, in Ella’s case, nope.  She is part alien, and wasn’t born a Time-Lord like me, so her body is trying to cope with replacing different cells and stuff.  Repairing broken bones, adding in an extra heart, basic Time-Lord psychic-ness. (Even though she has some already.)
  Yes, it’s painful.  Yes, it’s dangerous. Why didn’t I stop her? I couldn’t.  Any questions? No? Good.
  Um…that’s about all I’ve got.  Back to you, Whovian-Pegasister?
  *Ahem* Hi, I’m back. Anyways. Where were we? Ella was having a nightmare…

  Ella moaned.
  This was a different sort of pain, a pain she couldn’t quite place, but knew it was there.  That just made it more unsettling.
  She was waking up.  It had been the second day.  The Doctor looked down at her, relief, anguish, and hope in his eyes.  “Hullo.”
  Her vision cleared, revealing to her knowledge that they were still in the TARDIS.  The pain continued, her head throbbing along with—whatever it was.  “Argh,” she muttered, wincing.
  Then, blinking like a newborn baby, her attention turned to the Doctor, eyes wide.  He knew what her question was.
  “It’s over.”
  She heaved a sigh.  “If it’s over, why does—why does it still hurt?”
  “Where?” he asked, still concerned.  She looked down at her chest, not wanting to motion there, finding it awkward.  Then, back up at him, not having words to describe the situation.
  “Oh.” He pulled out his stethoscope. “Oh.”
  “What?”  Truly, she was oblivious to what was going on.  Ella was more concerned if what the Doctor was saying ‘oh’ about was good or not.  Really, she was curious and concerned at the same time.
  The coldness of the stethoscope pressed against her, on and off.  She breathed deeply, nearly holding her breath with suspense.  He then took the device out of his ears, wiped it off, and, plugging it into Ella’s, grinning.  “Listen for yourself.”
  She did, wondering if she was hearing things.
  “What-?”
  “Shush, listen.”
  She blinked with curiosity again, stunned. “Two—double--heartbeats-Doctor?  What’s wrong with me?”
  He chuckled. “Nothing is.”
  “Well, then…explanation?”
  He paused, expecting her brain to answer on instinct.  When she didn’t answer, he wondered if that ability had left, then told her.  “You’re a Time-Lord now, Ella.  Two hearts.”
  “Is it normal?”
  “For a Time-Lord, yes.”
  “But I’m a girl.”
  “Time-Lady, sorry.”
  She smiled. “That’s more like it.  But-why does it hurt?”
  “You’re not used to it.  You will be, though, just…try not to let it drive you insane.” He said it seriously.
  She sat up in bed.  “It’s normal to feel like this after regeneration?”
  “Well…if you mean sort of loopy and a tad ill, yes.  The hearts, though, that’s all you.”
  “Oh.” She heaved a long sigh.
  He sat down on her bed. “I’m taking that as a sign you want me?”
  “Y-yes.” She started stuttering again. “I had the worst nightmares.”
  “That’s normal, don’t worry. I have them too, whenever I’ve regenerated.” 
  She shivered, pulling the blanket around her, scared.
  “It’s alright, I’ve got you.  They weren’t real. Care to tell me about them?” He prodded, seeing her fear.
  “It was t-terrible. Dark. Alone.” She shivered more, visibly scarred for life.
  He pulled her into a hug.  “Shush, it’s okay.  You’re alright.”
  She focused on his heartbeats, noticing her own were trying to sync up.  “I’m right here. Don’t worry. It’s okay.”
  “I don’t think I’m gonna be a very good Time-Lord,” she sniffed.
  “Why not? I think you’ll be fantastic.”
  “I’m afraid of most things.”
  He pondered the words for a moment. “Well, that doesn’t mean you won’t be a good Time-Lord…”
  “Yes, but when are you afraid?”
  He took in a breath. “All the time.”
  She looked up at him, an eyebrow arched. “No you’re not!”
  “I’m afraid of lots of things.  There’s nothing wrong with that.”
  “Yes, there is.”
  “No, there isn’t.”
  She backed out of the hug. “That’s it, then.  I’m only a Time-Lord, er, lady, whatever, because I have two hearts.  Don’t you think that doesn’t really define me as one?”
  He had thought of this himself, but didn’t want to think about it too much.  So, he shrugged. “I know, it seems it shouldn’t be that simple.  I think we could consider you a crossbreed of Time-Lord and Kiroz, as all the…human-ness should be pretty low, and that you’re sort of…60% Time-Lord, 40% Kiroz, with bits of human blood flitting about.  But still, it’s barely there.  Anyways, you’re part Time-Lord for another reason. My guess is that you also gained Time-Lord knowledge, because it doesn’t seem like your psychic abilities have remained intact.  Want to prove my theory?”
  She shrugged back.  “I guess.”
  Ella took in a breath and proceeded to spout out utter nonsense to human ears, which is why it isn’t written down, for it would only make sense between the two of them. Then, she blushed. “Point taken, Doc.”
  He blank-faced at the child.  “You knew all that?”
  “And a heck of a lot more, not that I can repeat that again…” She looked dizzy, trying to recapture her breath. 
  He kept talking, puzzled, but motioned for her to keep breathing anyways.  “But…that’s ancient Time-Lord knowledge…I guess it’d be implanted in you…nothing about the Last Great Time War, though.” He sighed. 
  She regained her breath. “No, actually, a lot.”
  He stared, speechless.
  “I think it replaced the Kiroz ability to know everything…well, sort of.  I mean, I still have my precognition, but it’s enhanced.  I just don’t know everything about every little detail…is that what it’s like to be normal?” She questioned. “I suppose not, since I’m a Time-Lord now.  Partly. But not knowing everything, I guess everyone experiences that…it’s all so different, Doctor.  Like putting on a pair of glasses for the first time and seeing all the separate leaves on each tree.”
  The Doctor gulped and changed the topic.  “Do you still feel a bit sick?”
  “Yes and no. Massive headache coming on, and I’m still getting used to the two hearts…but that’s about it.”
  He nodded, understanding.  “Headaches are typical.”
  She continued talking, still confused about one thing. “Um…does this mean…” The words wouldn’t come easily at all. 
  He listened intently, wanting to answer all questions. “Keep going.”
  “I—uh, I’m going to…you know…” She stumbled over her words, not able to word it right.
  The Doctor was oblivious to what she was asking. 
  “L-live…forever?”
  “Yes.”
  To his surprise, she sighed.  “Great. Just great. I keep on living while people that I know die around me, wonderful.”
  He was a bit shocked.  The Doctor had known no one who was immortal -or a Time-Lord- to have such regret and remorse first thing, except for himself. Coming from her, it sounded so much worse.
  “I’m sorry.”
  “It’s not your fault.”
  “Isn’t it always my fault?”
  “No, not always.” He patted her on the back.
  Clutching her head, she sighed again, eyes closed. “My head hurts.”
  “Can you- “he paused, realizing what might be happening. “Are you seeing anything?”
  “Yes. Every time I close my eyes, I see the darkness again, and the pain increases…“ She opened her eyes, horrorstruck. Then, she took the Doctor’s hand, squeezing it tight, breathing deeply.
  It’s worse than I thought, he thought. (Is that too ironic for you?) Much worse.
  She started shivering again, and curled up in her blanket.  The Doctor tried to take her mind off things.  “Hungry?”
  “Not really.” Ella was staring at the wall, hoping that would help.
  “Want some tea?”
  She nodded, still staring, squeezing part of the blanket like a stress ball.
  “Okay.” He got up and headed for the kitchen of the TARDIS.  He had always liked tea; it had saved his life once.  It was starting to grow on her as well.
  The kettle whistled loudly, startling Ella from the other room.  “What was that?”
  “Just the tea.”
  She sighed with relief. The Doctor rolled his eyes, pouring the tea into mugs.
  Bringing the tea back into the other room, Ella pointed at it. “What’s that?”
  “I already said, its’ tea.”
  “Oh.”
  She took a sip, again sighing. 
  “You act like you’ve never seen tea before,” he noticed.
  “I feel like I’ve never seen anything before, if you must know,” she mused, still seeming tense.
  Strange, he thought, though it could just be a side effect.
  She gulped down a bit more. “Thanks.”
  “Welcome.” Wondering if this nightmare had gotten to her, he tried changing the topic. “So…how d’you feel now?”
  “Better.  Sort of.”
  “’Sort of’?”
  Ella nodded.  “Still…different.”
  The Doctor rubbed his chin in thought. “Different how?”
  “I don’t know.  Just different.”
  She got up and opened the door of the TARDIS, which was now floating in space, and sat on the edge.
  All she could see when she closed her eyes was the darkness.  Words flooded through her mind, fast and frantic, from the minds of others.  She shut them out using the raindrop trick, tired. 
  Really, it was a mixture of tiredness and fear.  She couldn’t even think straight with all of the thoughts and nightmares filling her head.  Finally, she spoke:
  “Different…but the same.”

Ella kicked, her legs dangling out the TARDIS door. 
  The Doctor had decided to give her a moment; given the circumstances, he had no idea why she was acting like this.  Even he didn’t experience anything as severe as this.
  She felt her head start to become heavier, her neck unable to support its weight.  Her eyes, fearful, snapped open.  She needed sleep.
  She couldn’t sleep.
  The pain continued, pulsing in her mind.  Ella clutched her head, trying to ignore it, but it was all still there.  She did the raindrop trick, trying to trap her fears within imaginary raindrops in her mind, but it didn’t work on images.  What could she do, then?
  Not much, but she had options: call the Doctor or let the pain continue.
  She took neither one, deciding keeping her mind on other things would help.  Ella thought about being a Time-Lord.  In reality, it wasn’t that much different from being human—no.  She took it back, it was so much more.  There was a lot more thinking involved.  You had to make choices, and you had to make them quickly, better than any human would.
  Not that she didn’t like humans; she loved them, being her first real species that she ever was, the ones she was most familiar with.  Typically, the Doctor needed a human to keep him grounded, not too extreme. To help him make the right choices.
  Well, she thought, I’m still a small percentage human.  I can still keep him grounded…but I might have to make the choices he does.
  She didn’t like that idea.  It was big and threatening and seemed to loom over her.  Choices that Time-Lords made usually involved death.  And killing. And death, which Ella hadn’t quite wrapped her mind around as a concept. So, that made it a little bit harder.  But she wouldn’t have to do that soon; at least, she hoped not.
  “Well,” she said aloud, “That’s that, then.”
  The words echoed around the TARDIS, bold and clear. 
  What she meant was that it was over with.  Nothing else, really, just that it had happened.  What’s done was done.  She was (mostly) Time-Lord now.
  She spoke again to herself, finding her words somewhat comforting. “So what? I’m a Time-Lady, the world hasn’t ended or anything.  It’s not like the Daleks were going to come down.  I’m still alive.”
  Staring out at the universe, she scowled at all the planets and stars, yelling, “You hear that, world? I’m a TIME-LORD NOW! And I’m gonna be the best Time-Lord I can! You hear me, galaxy?! I’M ELLA, PART KIROZ, A SMIDGE HUMAN, MOSTLY TIME-LORD, ALL OF ME READY TO FACE YOU HEAD-ON!”
  She sighed.  That felt good.
  The pain settled back into her head. “Oh, who am I kidding…all I’m doing is gloating about while my head attempts to kill me slowly.”
                       -o0o-
  Ella didn’t know the Doctor was asleep.
  He was taking a nap; after the craziness that the last two days had been, he needed sleep.
  The rolling hills of Gallifrey shimmered as the trees became aglow.  The sun, rising in the east, made the whole forest appear on fire.  He was watching this picturesque scene, thinking all was right with the world. 
  But something was wrong.  Why was he alone?
He was back in Gallifrey.  Everyone had to be safe, he had returned, why was he alone? 
He heard them; the cries of his people.  What could he do? Anything and everything, that’s what.  The Doctor ran towards the source of the noise only to find an…enclosed bubble of sorts, a glistening orange force-field. 
Something in the back of his mind snapped to attention.  His people weren’t—alive.  The thought was desperately shoved back to the darkest corners of his brain, wanting to recapture happiness, just for a moment.
   Why were they in a force-field? What had happened?
And then he heard it, the entrancing summoning call of a wild Ood, that only a Time-Lord could hear.  There was Ood Sigma, in front of him.
“But—“ he turned from the force-field to his Ood friend, “I don’t understand.”
“Your song is ending soon, Doctor.  You will return to us,” the dull, somewhat deadpan voice of Sigma chimed.  The dreamscape cracked, his odd dream fading away…

   And then he woke up, panting, grasping his Sonic like a child would a stuffed animal.
   But he fell back to sleep; he needed the sleep.  No matter how cryptic the dream was, he needed the sleep.
                      -o0o-
  Realizing her friend/guardian must be asleep somewhere, knowing him, she decided it would be best if she slept, too.
  Even though there were the nightmares still haunting her.
  Besides, she didn’t have to actually sleep.  She could lie down and see what the Doctor was dreaming.  Might as well; he’d been asleep for a while, and he usually didn’t sleep for long.  Maybe she still had the Kiroz ability of dream-walking.
  So she tried, but every time she closed her eyes, she’d see the darkness again.
  Sighing, she got up and walked around the TARDIS.  She had never seen every single room, at the most, she had seen the console/main control room (where she was now) and the library.  She didn’t know where the Doctor’s room was, or storage, or anything else. Then again, now that she thought about it, she had hid in a broom closet once…but she had no clue where that was.
  Well, it felt like a good day to explore.  Ella wasn’t doing anything in particular.
  Walking down the surprisingly long halls, she stopped and looked into each room.  There was a swimming pool; a bowling alley; storage, which was organized by letter and year; more storage, where everything tumbled out on her; a kitchen; a bathroom; and a room that was empty.  Why have all these rooms and have one be empty? 
  She walked into it.  “Hello, what’s this?”
  Amazingly enough, it somehow projected what she was thinking of at the moment; of how weird this was.  She stared, panicked. “What-?”
  It projected her next thought, panic and more curiosity.  It used words but not many images, which she thought was clever and strange at the same time. (You could tell, because that’s what came next.) 
  “Wow.  Wonder what kind of technology this is?  Wonder where he got it?” Now, images of different types of technology were displayed on the walls.  “Well, this whole room must be sentient-no! Of course not, a living room?” She chuckled. “Living room. Good one, Ella.” 
  The wall displayed, ‘*laughter*’. 
  “Are you? Are you alive?” she asked it.  It didn’t really answer, being a room, but continued to project her thoughts. 
  “Then, if you aren’t alive, you’d have to be in my mind or something, ‘cos I’m definitely not controlling this.”
  The room continued with this thought-projecting technology. 
  “Wow,” she said again.  “I bet this is what folks will do for power-points in the future, just think about it, and it’ll show up on the wall whether they like it or not.”  Images of what would be considered ‘futuristic’ things showed up. 
  For reasons unexplained, the room seemed to grow darker.  Ella realized it was the same place from her nightmares.  Terror flooded through her.
   Suddenly, she grabbed her head, feeling the darkness again. “No! Don’t do that!” The room was suddenly illuminated by random streaks of light among the darkness, somehow affecting her mind.  “No, please…”  It wouldn’t stop.  It just kept coming, deeply instilling the pain within the girl, what seemed to be everlasting fear.
  Crouching down on the floor, she shook, the situation being too much for her. “I said, STOP!”
  Almost as if on instinct, the whole room went back to the blank walls and emptiness of before.  Frightened, she backed out of the room and locked the door behind her.
  Yet, she continued exploring.  Why not?

  The Doctor turned in bed, thrashing the covers about him.
  “I’m so sorry,” he said.  He was in the TARDIS, apologizing to Ella.
  “Yes, you apologize for ruining my life.  Of course,” she said sarcastically.
  “Really! I swear, I didn’t intend for anything to happen.”
  “Yes you did! There’s no way we can get back to Earth now.”
  Scowling, she stood at the door of the TARDIS. “I’ll do it! I’ll jump!”
  He shut the door and locked it quickly.  “No you won’t.”
  “Find some way to take me home, then!”
  Tears were forming in her eyes.  She simply stared at him.

  Then, he woke up.  Another nightmare.  They just…kept coming.
  He fell back to sleep; he needed the sleep.  He hadn’t slept for two days, worrying.
  Now, among the rolling hills of Gallifrey, there he was, back again.
  It was beautiful once more; not a cloud in the sky.  The birds were singing, the Daleks were attacking…

  He snapped to attention.  The Daleks were attacking!
   Every single Time-Lord on the planet were there, engaging in the horrific battle.  Blood and gore.  Violence.  No peace. 
  And there he was, just standing there.  Somehow, he couldn’t help.  He couldn’t help at all, he was useless, an immovable pawn in the game of life.  He had to watch them burn, every single Time-Lord that ever existed…

  He turned in bed, a frown crossing his face, muttering ‘no…’
                        -o0o-
  Ella roamed the halls of the TARDIS, alone.
  There wasn’t much else to do. She could wake up the Doctor, but she found it wrong.  He must’ve been worried sick these last two days, poor thing.
  She sat down on the fold-away bed, seeing the images of her nightmares again.  The pain combined with the nightmare images had been growing since she left the blank-walled room. Would it ever leave?  When would it stop?
  She banged her head against the pillow. “Get out!”
  Dazed, she looked up. “Never mind.”
  Ella got up and paced through the console room.  She couldn’t take it much longer.  She was scared stiff.  “All I can see is the darkness...I need help.  Please!  Someone, make it stop!”
  Then, she heard it; the beautiful song, yet there were no words.
  It was gorgeous, like nothing she had ever heard before.  It was something only a Time-Lord could hear.
  It was the song of the Ood.
                     -o0o-
  Ood Sigma was back.
  The song was louder than ever.  The Doctor heard it. Clearly, it was thrumming in his ears, even in the real world.
  Beautiful, but horrifying.
  “Well?” The Doctor asked, voice cracking. “You said my song was going to end soon. Just--get it over with.”
  Yet it simply faded away, with the rest of his dream…

  He woke up, gasping again.  The song was still there, but it was more distant; they must’ve been passing the home planet of the Ood. 
  The Doctor mussed up his hair and clambered out of bed.  I’m really getting up now, he told himself.  It was startling, the number of nightmares that he had.  He then remembered he wasn’t the only one with nightmares in the TARDIS.
  Ella.  Was she okay? What happened to her? Immediately, he ran out of his room…
  …to find her sitting on the fold-away bed, head clutched tightly by her hands, not noticing him.
  “They won’t go…” She moaned.  Quickly, he sat down with her.
  “Who won’t go?”
  “I keep seeing my nightmares…” she said, voice muffled. “They won’t go…”
  He looked at the floor for a split-second.  It shouldn’t be this bad.  Something’s up.  “What are you seeing?”
  “I’m…alone.  It’s dark.  Doctor, I don’t know where you are!”
  “But why?  This shouldn’t be happening.  This isn’t part of the regeneration, what could she have run into?” he begun talking to himself.
  She looked up at him, eyes wide.  “They’re everywhere I look, Doctor. Help. Please.”
  “Yes. Right. First, I need you to look at me,” he said, refocusing.
  “But I can’t see anything else besides these stupid nightmares!”
  “Oh.” He gently took her head and tilted it up at him. “That’s better. Now, stay still.  This won’t hurt--I hope—you’re tense.  Too tense, calm down for me.”
  “I don’t know where you are.  I’m scared.”
  “Shh, I’m right here. Just listen to the sound of my voice…” He prompted.  Then, he set his hands on her head, closed his eyes, and went into deep focus.  He saw what she had seen.  Indeed, it was frightening.  But there was something familiar about it...
  She felt the pain slip away.  The girl took in a shaky breath. 
  “There we go…” he kept talking, hiding the fact that this disturbed him.  The wrongness of it all was surreal, as she was experiencing every fear she had ever had.  It took him a minute, but he effectively erased the images from her mind.  He sent her into a state of calmness to…well, calm her down.  “That’s a good girl.”
  Her vision cleared.  “So much better.” Noticing his own tenseness, she spoke up, “You don’t seem well either.”
  He took his hands off of her head, giving her a gentle inquisitive stare.  “What?”
  “You’re worried. Why?”
  He had forgotten that Time-Lord psychic abilities went both ways.  Reluctantly, he admitted the other thing that was on his nerves, so he wouldn’t cause her to worry.  “Um…things have been bothering me.”
  “Like what?”
  He stayed silent, finding it an awkward moment.
  “Doctor?”
  “Well, we better get going—“
  She grabbed his arm and pulled him back down on the bed.  “Not escaping from this one, buster.  What’s the matter?”
  “Nightmares,” he said, under his breath.
  “Say again?”
  “Nightmares,” he said louder. “I’ve been having nightmares.”
  “I’m sorry, Doctor.  About what?”
  It all tumbled out of his mouth. “You…the Time War…Ood Sigma.”
  “Who?”
  “There’s a species called the Ood.  We’ll have to go to their planet some time.”
  “The Ood…” she questioned, “like that…song?”
  “Yes.  I forgot you could hear it.  I suppose we passed by their planet while I was asleep.”
  “Only Time-Lords can hear the song?”
  He nodded.  “Anyways.  The last time we met, he said that…my song was ending.  He said I had to meet him soon.”
  “Lucky for us, time works differently. Right?”  She grinned.
  “I guess…” he was still troubled.  Ella could see it in his eyes.
  “You alright?”  The girl asked.
  He took in a breath.  “Yeah.  I’m fine.”
  She gazed up at him, expecting more. “Go on.”
  But that was it.  “You?”  He returned the question.
  “Meh,” she said, but still a bit confused. 
  There was silence.
  Finally, Ella decided to speak.  “You do know there’s a room back there that projects one’s thoughts along the walls?”
  He blank-faced again, then giving her a cold yet crazed stare. “Don’t tell me you went in!”
  “Yes, why, was it wrong of me?”
  He sighed.  “You didn’t know any better.  Are you alright?”
  “I think…still a lot of headaches.”
  “That room…” his words drifted.  “People can be trapped in that room for days.  It’s sentient, had a mind of its own, it could’ve killed you!”
  “W-What?” She stuttered.
  He set his hands back on her head.  “Blimey…oh, good.  You weren’t in there for an hour.”
  “Doctor, why would it—I’m lost.  Could you explain?”
  “That room’s alive.  Well…there’s something in the walls of that room.  They’re imprisoned within the walls, always trying to escape.  So, whenever someone wanders in, they try to inhabit its mind.  That’s it; the person’s gone.”
  “Why are they imprisoned?”
  “I captured them, put them there long ago.  They feed off of one’s thoughts, that’s why you can see them on the walls…then, they’ll try and find that person’s fears.  Usually, the person goes into a coma until they become inhabited by the—things, which takes about an hour.  It’s food for them.  They’re the predator, you’re the prey.”
  She shivered.  “That’s—terrible.  Then why am I still alive?”
  “You resisted them, somehow.  What did you do?!” He demanded, amazed.
  “I said, ‘Stop’.”
  “They can’t have stopped just because of that!”
  “Then we’ll never know.  Maybe I’m important or something.” She shivered again.
  “It’ll be alright,” he said, noticing the tell-tale sign of one being affected by the creatures, constant shivering.  Oh dear.  I was right… he thought.
  “My head…“ She grabbed her head and mussed up her hair.  “Ugh, it hurts.”
  “I can’t do anything about that,” he said.
  “Well, can you help me figure out why it’s hurting? That’d be helpful.”
  “Um, headache? You were complaining about headaches.”
  “Yes, partly.  I think it might be those things, also.  I saw my nightmares even more vividly in the room--scared the living daylights out of me,” she explained.
  “Well, yes, but if they’d affected you…” His voice trailed off, trying to think of what to do without telling her she’d been affected.  “Um, take a deep breath for me.”
  “’Kay.” She did, but the breath being shallow, skin going pale.
  Noticing this, he motioned for her to lie down and gently set her head on the pillow.  She started shivering again.  He pulled the blanket up over her.
  “You’re alright. Hang in there. Just—tired. You need to rest for a while.”
  “You’re not telling me something, Doctor.  What’s really happening?” Her eyes were half-open, half-closed, all inquisitive.
  “Nothing. At least, nothing you need to worry about.  Go to sleep.  You’ll be fine.” He shushed her.
  “But -“She closed her eyes, suddenly falling into a deep sleep.
  This was no sleep. 
  This was a young part Time-Lady in a coma that could make or break her life.

The Doctor’s mind raced as he gathered the things that were needed.
  This infection could be considered death itself.  Infection by these creatures, of course.  It could kill, already scaring Ella with all of the nightmares, but this could happen at any time. 
  Maybe even right now, as she was going into a coma. 
  And in his bout of unfortunate luck, he had lost the cure.
  He couldn’t just stand there, of course.  He had to find the book that contained the recipe…which he realized he had out.  Flipping through it, he started mixing things furiously. 
  She had been in there for a full hour, but of course she didn’t know that.  The creatures had a firm grip on the twisting of reality.  It was how they seduced their prey. 
  Quickly, he poured the liquid into her mouth, gently propping her up.  She coughed, not expecting it.  Her vision blurred and cleared, her body and mind dizzy.  “…Doctor?”
  “I’m right here.  I’m right here, you’re alright.”
  Scared still, her eyes darted around in a mad dash, not seeing much besides more nightmares. “I can’t see you! I can’t see anything but the darkness!”
  “It’s not real, Ella—“
  “Then why is it in front of me? Where are you? Where am I?” Her voice became more panicked, speaking between gasps, regaining her breath.  The eyes continued their frantic searching.  “DOCTOR!?!?”
  He wondered if this was more frightening for him than it was for her.  “I’m right here, Ella, take a breath—“
  “It’s them.  They’re coming back.  They’re COMING BACK.” Even though the eyes remained useless for trying to see, the pupils became much smaller as fear crept into the girl.
  He slid his hand over hers, hoping that touch would help.  “I’m right here.  Can you feel my hand?”
  Her voice became even smaller, fainter, trailing off. “He’s coming back…”
  “Ella.” He shifted her chin up so the eyes would be on him, even though they really wouldn’t.  “Take a deep breath.”
  She did, her hand trying to find his.  He grabbed hers, trying to comfort his companion.
  “Now.” He knelt down in what would be in front of her. “Can you hear me?”
  “Y-yes,” her voice trembled. 
  “Can you feel my hand?”
  “Yes.”
  He wasn’t sure what much else he could do.
  “Doctor?  You’re still there?”
  Now it was him who said, “Yes.”
  “I-you can do-whatever it is you did that helped the last time.  Please.”
  He sighed.  “I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry.  I don’t think it’ll help.”
  “It will.  It has to; please, I’m willing to do anything for the darkness to go away.”
  “That medicine was supposed to act as soon as you got it.  Why didn’t it work?”
  The eyes blinked.  “Why’re you asking me, I dunno!”
  “Because—“It was too much to say aloud, yet he did it anyways. “I don’t want you to go.”
  “I’m gonna die?”
  He said nothing, wrapping his arms around her in a warm embrace.
  “Doctor, I can’t die!  I just regenerated into a Time-Lord, and that was enough trauma!” She scowled.
  He was taken aback by the words, then slapped his head.  “Regeneration! Of course!”
  “What?”
  “It’s only been a few hours after your regeneration.  You’ll be alright.  You won’t see anything bad in a few moments…brilliant!  You should’ve reminded me sooner, Ella!”
  She tilted her head in an owl-like manner. “I am?”
  “You are!”
  “Okay.  How long will this take, though?”  She asked, a distinct look of tiredness in her eyes.
  “Soon.  Very soon, don’t worry.”  He gave her another quick hug.
  “Doctor?”
  “Yes?”
  She shivered again.  “Are you sure you can’t make it go faster?  It’s…so dark…and cold.  I’m so cold.”
  His head jumped down from the clouds, reassessing the seriousness of the situation.  “Oh.  Sorry.”  She lay back down; he pulled the covers back up.  “Are they--still there?”
  She nodded, a shaky kind of nod that made her lip quiver.
  “Shh, I can get rid of that.  I’ll get rid of that.” He placed his hands back on her head for the second time, wondering who ‘they’ were, but only getting a quick glimpse.  Now he could help her.
  Ella sighed.  “They’re gone.”
  “Good.  What else are you seeing?”  Still, he kept the enigma of ‘they’ in his mind.  Could be important.
  “Darkness-it’s cold in the darkness-I’m alone-why can’t I be with you?  I can only hear you, when I feel your hand my mind won’t believe it, I can’t see you.  Why must I be alone?”  More shivering.
  “You’re not, I promise.”
  “How do you know I’m not dreaming?”
  “You wouldn’t be hearing me so clearly if you were dreaming.”
  A slight pause in conversation.  “You were the one who asked ‘what is real’.”
  “Th-That’s true,” she answered, voice trembling along with body.
  Another pause.  She spoke up.  “Is there such a thing as a cherubim?”
  “Hmm?”
  “A cherubim.  You know, from ‘A Wind in the Door’.  Y’know, the Time Quintet?”
  He decided to let her ramble, as it might help. “What’s it like in the book?”
  She grinned. “There’s this great creature.  He’s made of wind and flame and eyes… and many, many wings.  He’s my favorite character in the second book.  Proginoskes.” A beat, trying to get her thoughts straight.  “He’s very intelligent, always knowing exactly what’s going on even though the others don’t.  Like you and me, sort of.  Anyways, I think Progo is a nice cherubim, don’t you think?”
  “I think I’ve heard of the species,” he mused, smirking.
  “But are they real?”
  “Well…” he had read the books himself, fond of the series.  “They live in our imaginations.”
  “Aw.  I’d like to know a cherubim.”
  He chuckled.  “That’d be fun, wouldn’t it?”
  “Yeah.  Or if I met Gaudior…nah. Progo is much better.  Even though Gaudior is a unicorn.  Well, technically an alicorn, but that was before the My Little Pony word for ‘winged unicorn’ existed.  Progo’s more entertaining.  I wouldn’t mind if I met Ms. Whatsit, Ms. Who, or Ms. Which, either, because they seem awfully nice.  And Ms. Whatsit used to be a star! A literal star, out in space.  I want to know what that’s like.” She grinned, babbling on. “The Happy Medium!  She’s a nice woman, too.  All those fantastic aliens! But I’d also love to meet the human characters, especially Meg; she’s a lot like me, bright and positive.  And the boys, Charles Wallace, a psychic boy who’s Meg’s brother, and Calvin, who just sounds awesome.  I’d never meet any of the villains.  No way!  The people on Camazotz, mainly…IT and the Man with Red Eyes…oh boy, they’re creepy.  Creepiest of all is the Ecthroi, beings who survive through hatred.  They kill for no apparent reason besides hate.”
  The girl shivered at the thought.  He pulled up her blanket a bit more, glancing at her goosebump-laden arms.  “Don’t think about that.  How’s your vision?”
    “Blurry.”
  He nodded.  “Can you make anything out?”
  “Yeah-no-not really.  Just blurs of color.”  She lay down in bed.  “I’m going to sleep.”
  He gave her a gentle smile.  “Alright.  Sleep tight, Ella.”
  Getting up, the weary older Time-Lord turned off the light.  The girl fell fast asleep once they were off.
                       -o0o-
  After a long sleep, Ella woke up, her vision coming back. 
  She looked around, her head throbbing a bit.  The nightmares had ended, but she knew it wouldn’t be for long.
  They’d come back the next night. 
  Well, now that she thought of it, tonight she had a rather interesting dream.  But it was probably more of a vision, to put it like Princess Luna.
  Something about ancient Egypt.  She’d always wanted to go, and in the dream, she and the Doctor went together…and then something odd happened, but she couldn’t tell what.  It was a dream, after all, difficult to decipher.
  She was a bit worried.  No nightmares.  That was never a good sign.
  It was morning.  Well, that was a good sign, she had slept till morning.  Ella didn’t think she’d get good sleep like that.
  She knew what she had seen was some sort of vision.  Possibly, it would happen soon, the two traveling to Egypt.  Hmm.  Well, it sounds fun.
  But still, the thought of it ending abruptly was weird.  Her dreams had never done such a thing.  Anyways, she knew that whenever they did travel to Egypt, it may not end well.
  She shrugged off her dream and headed for breakfast.

End.



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