My life

September 25, 2018 6:00 am. My alarm as usual was turned off and didn’t sound again until 6:30 am. I woke up feeling dizzy and light headed. I walked up the stairs to the restroom. I felt myself swaying back and forth. I grabbed on to the railing to support myself, and as I tried to reach the last step I fell. I felt my body getting hit by the edges of the stairs. I woke up about four hours later on a couch that I have never seen before, it was bring pink and had gold sequins all over it. I was afraid and I didn’t understand what was happening and why. I heard the noise of something piping and something glass shattering. I stood up as quick as I could. The carpet was soft and yellow and as I walked into the kitchen a lady dressed in all blue screamed. “Why are you here, you're not supposed to be here?”
“Sorry, Where am I exactly?” I responded.
“Missy don’t ask me that. You know exactly where you are and where you are suppose to be at this very instant. Go to your room and get ready to leave.”
I asked “Ummm...where is my room?”
“Stop messing with me young lady. Now go on!” she said
“Okay?” I said.
I walked away from the kitchen looking into each room/ each more extravagant than the last. I was confused and heartbroken, and finally I found a room that looked different compared to all the other in the house. I found clothing that was very bright and elegant, but I decided to put on a t-shirt and some jeans that for some reason fit perfectly. I walked back downstairs and said “I’m ready!”.She looked at me like I was crazy once more.
“Do you think you are going to go see the Queen like that!?” she said
“Of course not, I will go up and change!”
I put on a nice navy color gown with beads, and tan heels on. I did my hair and face in the bathroom that oddly was a color pink with accents of yellow. Once again I walked back downstairs.

I asked “How do I look?”
She said “Marvelous!”
“Okay now what do I do?” I said
“Just sit outside and wait for the car to get here.” She said
“Okay will do!” I said.

I waited for about five minutes and a white Rolls Royce popped out of nowhere. It just appeared out of thin air. I thought I was dreaming, but no matter how many times I pinched myself I was not waking up. Every three seconds I would have the urge to pinch my brown skin. I got into the car where a man waited for me. He was tall and had a light complexion. He did not make a sound and neither did I. When we arrived to the destination I was surprised that we were not in the front of a huge palace. It was a small cottage and the minute that I walked up to the front door it became something else. All of a sudden a huge garden was there with people serving macaroons and espresso. I walked through the grass my footsteps left a mark, a young man approached me and and said “It’s time to see the queen Elle!”

I answered “Okay. Where is she?”
“She’s is sitting down in the white gazebo.”

I walked fast. I always wondered how the queen looked and how she acted. I wondered what she would be wearing and how she would approach me or if I would approach her. I didn’t know what to expect. All of a sudden another man approached me and gave me a gold macaroon to give to the queen as well as a cup of tea. I walked on the steps of the gazebo with my head down about to reach greatness, but the moment I raised my head there was piglet sitting in an elegant chair of red and gold with diamonds in every area. I ran as fast as I could and I tried to find the young man that accompanied me to the event. I walked and walked, but after twenty minutes of trying to figure out where he was I gave up. I sat down and after that I do not remember because when I opened my eyes I was on a different couch with a different pattern.

September 27, 2018 10:00 pm. I looked out the window right next to me. It was night time and there were lights everywhere and music playing, people dancing, and drinking wine. I looked out the other window and the most beautiful thing I have ever seen before appeared. It was the Eiffel Tower. I was in Paris the city of love. I walked around the apartment I was in. It was minimal with no fancy over dramatic designs like the last house. I opened the door to walk out of the apartment. I roamed down the streets looking at people drinking coffee. I was having the time of my life. Everything was beautiful and shined. A young woman approached me and asked
“Can I use your phone?”
“Sorry, I don’t have one.” I answered
“Merci.” she said and walked away.
I became very tired and I walked back to the apartment I woke up at. I fell asleep on the same couch, but a few hours later at least I think the same woman that asked to use my cell phone woke me up. She was scared for her life ,and the moment I opened my mouth she hit me upside the head with the biggest pan I have probably seen in my entire life.

September 28, 2018 11:00am. Today a young man approached me and asked me to go out for brunch, and after that I do not remember.
September 30,2018 3:00am. Today I woke up in a pool floaty in a pool. I was wearing a bright yellow swimsuit with a cup of cherries right besides me. Around me a DJ was passed out on the floor. There were bottles of drinks everywhere and inside the house there was a teenage girl crying or maybe she was laughing. Inside the house the situation looked to be much worse. I got out of the pool and ran. I looked around, it was a wealthy neighborhood, but the only way I can get somewhere was walking. So I grabbed some clothing off the ground and walked. I walked and walked until I found a familiar place where I can lay my head.

October 5, 2018 6:00 pm. I may never remember how I get places or why I get there, but what I do remember is home. I traveled back to New York City to visit my parents in the lower east side. They were excited to see me as so was I. The moment I walked into the door my mom said “Hi sugar, I’ve missed you!”
“Me too mom. How are you.” I said
“I’m great, but your brother needs a taling he’s going crazy.” she said
“ I’ll talk to him.” I said
“Okay good I have been trying to talk sense into him,but he just doesn’t listen.” She said.
“How are things in California?” She asked.
“It’s going well.” I said.
I’ve been lying to my parents about a business I opened up in California that was small, but growing. I felt so bad, but I didn’t have my life together yet. I promised myself the day I do I would open up a business. I spent the day asking questions to my parents and visiting the city that I onced loved and admired. Also I visited him and his daughter.

October 8th, 2018 4:00pm. Today I visited my ex husband and his daughter. She’s an amazing little girl, but he’s the same: stubborn and never understanding. Now, his little girl isn’t his little girl. She is my little girl. She does not know that, but maybe when I have my stuff together and I am able to remember where I am. I just might be able to get her back. I will be abale to show her everything.

November 10th, 2018 12:00 pm. Today I woke up in Sacramento, California in a sunny side hotel with my friend Zak. Zak is an awesome friend, he took me out to lunch and bought me a drink, but the best thing about Zak is that he never asked questions or judged me. He lived in the moment. The way we felt is what we did. The best thing about Zak is that we had a ritual. He would fly me to California from any place in the world I was and we spent the week together. Then after a week we would say our goodbyes and part ways.
December 11th, 2018 1:00 am. Today I fell asleep in a rental car and that was the highlight of my day.
December 12th, 2018 2:00am. I have not been able to sleep for the past 3 days. The lifestyle I live is no longer something I can keep up with.

I keep this journal to rack my head, trying to find the missing pieces of every night. Sadly I only remember split second moments or hours at a time. The new year is coming quick and I would like to change my ways, but there is something about the way I live that gives me a rush. A certain feeling that cannot be explained by anything else. Everyday a new place a new place at a different time.

November 5th 7:00 am. I’m done with this journal. No more!