My parents used to fight a lot when they were still together and when they weren't fighting, there was a tense feeling in the air. It took a toll on my siblings and I. My oldest brother, Casey, could always be found outside walking around the neighborhood. My second oldest brother, Patrick, was at the neighbor's house more than his own. My youngest brother, Matt, had severe autism so he didn't realize what was going on or at least he didn't show any sign of knowing. He had it the easiest of all of us. Myself, however, probably took the fighting and tension the worst.
            

I would stay outside from the time I woke up to the time that it was dark and I was called inside. Rarely did I go inside unless it was to use the bathroom or grab a quick bite to eat. Even when I was called in for dinner, I would grab my food and go back outside. The house felt suffocating to me and my parents didn't make it any better.
           

One way I coped with this was that I rode either my bicycle or scooter around the neighborhood. Everybody recognized me and waved at me, feeling me with a feeling of happiness that someone has finally acknowleged me. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents but sometimes I felt invisible to them. Sure they showed their love to me and asked me how I was, but they didn't notice me. I guess that was my fault, I pushed them away and set up a perfect mask that they couldn't, still can't, see pass.
         

 It didn't help my relationship with my parents when I discovered the library. Before stumbling upon the library, I didn't realized that a room could be so quiet, so peaceful. There was no screaming coming from Matt, there was no arguing, it was quiet and calming. I would go everyday to the library, eventually I got my own library card. I would stay in the library curled up in a chair reading a book all day and when the library was closed, I would be outside of my house reading a book that I had checked out. The library became my safe haven.
         

 It was the library that helped me discover my love for books and writing. The library introduced me to what is still now my favorite book series, it helped me escape from the tension and fighting. It saved me from a life of depression and failure. The library saved my life.