I had anticipated this day for weeks now and as I slowly approached her porch I began to get more and more nervous. I had every worst scenario running through my mind as I took the last step towards the door. What if she hates me? What if I am a horrible teacher? What if this was a mistake? I timidly reached my arm out and pushed the doorbell. As I heard the tune of the bells echo through the house, I listened intently for footsteps nearing the porch, coming to unlock the door. After waiting a moment, I watched the doorknob rotate and the door pull inwards. There’s no turning back now. In the doorway stood a short, stout, Asian lady, with greying hair wrapped in a tight bun on top of her head. With a dull expression on her face and an unnecessary stern tone of voice, she introduced herself and then preceded to invite me inside. She led me through the silent hallways of the house until we reached a door with a sign that read “Elle” on it. Surrounding the sign was a couple of photographs of a girl whom I had assumed was Elle. The Asian lady opened the door to her room and introduced me to a girl sitting at her desk. She was sitting very conservatively, almost uncomfortable looking, in her chair. She had brown frizzy hair that rested on her shoulders and a sweet, innocent smile on her face. “Elle, this is Aubrey. She is going to be your new tutor.” I smiled and greeted Elle quietly. The Asian lady started to leave the room, but then stopped, turned around and peered her head around the door frame and said, “Hopefully you’re better than the other ones. We have had countless tutors and none of them have worked well with Elle so far; so good luck.” Feeling immense pressure, I kept a smile plastered to my face and turned to face Elle.

As I began to converse with Elle I noticed how neat her desk was. Her laptop, notebooks, textbooks, post it notes, lamp, and even pencils were all arranged flat on her desk with an even amount of space in between. Her picture frames on her shelf above the desk were also perfectly aligned in a straight line with equal spacing in between each photograph. I reached down to grab a stack of bright orange post it notes on her desk. “Wow these post it notes are my favorite color!” I exclaimed, “These will come in handy when we study.” I lightheartedly added. I placed them down, putting them back in generally the same area I retrieved them. As soon as the post it notes left my hand, Elle’s hand darted over to the pile of post it notes. She gently shifted the stack so that they were again evenly spaced between her other supplies on her desk. I realized then that everything seemed to have a place. After a little bit I also noticed, that while answering questions, Elle would pause a little longer than necessary and refuse to make eye contact with me. Elle was diagnosed with autism at a young age and because of this I knew she would learn differently than others. I was so nervous for this day because I wanted to help Elle succeed so badly, but I did not know how to approach teaching her.

Teaching and explaining work to Elle was a great struggle. She was a sophomore in high school and the work load was increasing in difficulty. Because of this, my work as a tutor was becoming harder as well. It was hard to remain calm when she would ask me to explain a concept more than five times. I had to fight the urge to give up when she did not know how to do basic addition. It was hard to stay motivated when she had forgotten concepts that I had just taught her five minutes ago. It was laborious, yet I know realize these hardships she and I went through challenged me to be a better tutor. I had to learn to think outside of the box, find more creative ways to teach, and remain patient.  

I tutored Elle for about sixth months. The beginning was challenging and at times. I wanted nothing more than to quit. But, the most important thing I learned from this experience was to never give up. About 4 months in, I distinctly remember walking into a tutoring session feeling very stressed and absolutely hopeless. That session I was going to be teaching Elle, for the third time, how to use a ruler. There aren’t many different ways to present how to measure using a ruler and I was frustrated with Elle, and myself. I didn’t understand how we were not progressing with all the time we had spent on this concept. I sat down next to Elle and inhaled a big breath of air. I let the air flush out my bad thoughts and calm my emotions. I exhaled all the negativity out of my body and turned to face Elle. “Okay Elle, let’s try again. Don’t give up; I think we can get it this time.” I told her, trying to convince myself just as much as her. Once again, I proceeded to explain the one inch, half inch, and three-fourths inch marks on the ruler. After a few moments of comprehending, Elle looked up and looked me in the eyes. This rare moment of eye contact spoke volumes to me. Without words being communicated between us, I was able to see a sense of clarity shine through her eyes. It was as if she was looking through a foggy window and I had suddenly wiped the fog away for her; the window was crystal clear. With the biggest smile on her face and a chip of accomplishment resting on her shoulders, she quickly looked down at her paper and continued her work. This moment gave Elle and I a boost of self-confidence that we both needed. It had proved to both of us that putting in the time and effort is worth it.

Although “never give up” is a cliché saying, I know this phrase to be an incredible tool in life. When Elle was struggling with understanding certain subjects, I told her to never give up and keep trying to understand; if necessary, start over and try again. When I was struggling with a way to present the info, I told myself to never give up and keep trying; if necessary, start over and try again. By this trial and error, I was able to find the most efficient way to present information to Elle. She was able to learn to her full potential while I too was able to learn mine along the way. Everyone has the power to conquer the inevitable challenges and trials thrown at them if they are willing to never give up.