I never thought that I would be apart of something that hurt people or that can easily be “a traumatizing event.” I thought those were only for bad people, someone that would never be me. I only remember some things, the scariest things. I remember the ear piercing screams, my mom being apart of them, I can still see the flames, the flashes of the ambulances. I can still see my mom running, toward the flames. I can see my sister's tears, and I can still feel mine.

I don’t really remember the day, it was about seven years ago, probably in 2009. We were in France, my grandparents have house in cognac (middle of nowhere,) it was a big house but small village.  I was with my sister, who is two years older than me, my mom, and my nana. We were driving around, looking for a hotel that we could spend the night. The next day, we were going to my moms best friend who lived a few hours away. I remember that I did not like the hotel, it was old, not taken care of, and smelled like smoke. I couldn’t understand why so many people were staying there, guess it was cheap. Sooner that later, I was asleep, it was a deep sleep, nothing was going to wake be. I was right, nothing was going to wake me, the bright flames weren’t enough, nor was the fire alarm. The thing that woke me was my sister, she was shaking me, I opened my eyes, confusion. It took me awhile to put two and two together. And when I did, we were in a hotel and it is burning. The main flame that I remember was the one that we jumped over to get out. My mom led us to the back corner where only a few kids were gathered. After that, it was a huge blur for me. I can see my mom running back to the blaze. There were no firefighters, even though it had already been ten minutes. My ears were filled with the fire alarm and people shouting, mainly in French. I heard something familiar, a faint “Mama! Mama!” It was my mom, I didn’t see her, she was buried in the flames. I saw that on the side of the building were the firefighters with mattresses on the ground. People were jumping, I didn’t see my nana or my mom. I waited, running out of tears, my sister brought me to the firefighters who were helping people down ladders. There was my mom. She was halfway down the ladder with my nana above her. When she got down, I hugged her, she was covered in ash and had burns all over her legs. We didn’t sleep that night, we didn’t talk, we just waited for it to be morning.

A few years and therapy classes later, I have forgotten some things. I forgot the days before and the days after, I also forgot my surroundings, I was in shock. The only thing that I see is the flame. The only thing I hear is the screaming. All I smell is the burnt tar. All I feel are my tears and my sister's arms. I will never forget, for what all I know, I was a survivor. A survivor of fear that will never be forgotten.