I can't believe how my family doesn't fully understand how common molestation is in our family. We really don't like to talk about it even though there has been a lot of people who had that happen to them and they haven't told anyone. I've come to find out that it has happened to more people in my family than I thought of. But what if they did tell someone, anyone? They would come to see that it's a pattern that is occurring. There's more people in the family that you wouldn't know had that happen to them. I mean no one really knows how far back in time and family bloodline it dates back too. Then again thinking back at that point I'm trying to make comes into play. If only my family would come to realize how seriously common this issue is. I know that telling someone a secret this big and dark might be hard, and you might be scared just thinking about it. You might be afraid of what they'll say or do. Like will they make it into something big with the whole entire family, getting it all out there? Or would they go about it in a bad way? The best situation is to make sure everyone understands how important of a situation it really is. Now I know some won't want to tell, and others might be mad or how ever else they might feel but it's best being dealt with in a positive way. It'll give other family members the chance to finally confess something so deep. Then again what do I know. I know nothing about this, there sure isn't a family hand book stating anything. I honestly can't tell you if this should be addressed or not. I want to tell my story about how molestation happened to me. When I was about 6 yrs old I was "touched" by two family members, which at that age I didn't know if that was something bad or not. Since then I haven't thought or spoke about it till now, well I told my fiancee because we try to be completely open about everything and anything and now I finally came clean to my mother and one of my older brothers. Telling them was hard for me in a lot of ways mostly because we always made a point to tell everything and to be open. So for finally telling them, my soul felt lifted.. I find it important to let my parents know that they couldn't have done anything and it's not their faults. Ya gave me an amazing childhood that I'll always cherish.. Since then I've made peace with it all, I've spoken to one of those two family members and we have made amends and I got to tell my dark secret. As for that other person I honestly don't know if we'll be able to make amends too, but I'm okay with that. Mostly because I'm at peace with myself and where I stand.

I'm writing this because I want to put my story out into the world and let others know that there not the only ones. I want to hear other people's stories too and you'll be surprised by how many people your close to and know went through the same thing as you did. I still don't know if my family and I should open that locked door or not. Maybe others can heal from this and maybe we can all understand.

My hopes is to make connections with other people, shed some light on the past and help other people to move forward like I did.

Its like I'm putting my whole self out there to try and make a difference, in hopes of having something positive happen in the end.

On a side note I would like to say that I made a story called "her story" telling what happened to me a little more in depth, but at that time it was anonymous because My fiancee was still the only one who knew about it. Now that I've told two very important people in my life, I'm ready for anything. I've truly made peace in every way. Also if anyone who reads this and wants to learn someone or have a better understanding on my life growing up you should read my other story I wrote. 

P.s. for some who read my other story might read about home videos and think of something bad but they were more like comedy sketches that the whole family would watch together and laugh.