Have you ever felt so tired that you just want to sleep away from everything that worries you?

Loneliness is like an interior feeling that strikes all the meanings of low self-esteem.

You are valuable as a person and you can't let any mind define how you really feel about yourself. Regardless of any mistake committed, you can't let that stop you from realizing your purposes.

I consider myself the loneliest person in the world and was not aware of worrying about whether I was or not. It sounds like I've accepted the fact that I can't make anyone happy: I don't have any talents, charisma, sense of humor nor a defined personality.

People live through observation and how their minds conceive, in order to perceive. 

I don't involve myself in a world of friends because it requires responsibility and it's characterized by drama. My father used to say to me: "Not because my friends have bad reputations means I am like them, talk to anyone!" and also "friends don't exist, focus on being someone in life and don't disappoint me."

My father’s name is Seul Peña the person I always look up to, he is handsome, the most serious and sarcastic man I will ever meet. My father has yellow eyes that one just can’t never forget. There’s no man like him. For instance, I want to be a better man than him. He fell in love again and decided to form a family with a new wife that makes him happy. “Dad, don’t take me to the psychologist. I am not affected by the separation of you and my mom” I never saw happiness in neither of both. My mom cried over a year but, I never thought their relationship worked. The only thing that maintained them together was the responsibility of raising me when my mom got pregnant at age 16.

It's hard to live by the expectations of people and more of the ones we love. Morality is a virtue that I apply in order to choose the best decisions. Many people are naturally awe-inspiring, but their scarce values ruin the respect they should have; however, that's only definable by how comfortable they feel.

We all have heard someone complain about love: a feeling that transcends many emotions including a blindness of attractions and the security of having someone always by our side; how complicated is to tell the best love story because love has a different meaning to everyone. Chances are you've "heard" about a person who really puts effort into everything and fell in love with someone who you think it's very insignificant. You can't stop love for itself when it launches that powerful union of affection between people. Never known the feeling of love when you start feeling it and realize with who.

That feeling was in the heart, another heart should discover it, until now, it's waiting to be discovered.

The family plays an important role: they support you in your accomplishments and encourage you to keep going after your failures. Your mother and father raised you in hopes that you are a pride for all (at least for them).
The economy has divided people into classifications that tend to change opportunities. It's no one's fault to be born in whatever place. Everyone, from birth, was instilled with a certain slant to a particular culture, religion and beliefs.

I take off universal aspects to add psychological reasons that prevent someone to be happy. There're inconveniences where children have born orphans or have family problems such as divorce and suffer from trauma.

I have personally suffered child abuse in all imaginative ways. I know I cannot live with a trauma as I get older and realize it was not my fault or theirs to mark my life forever. I lose my conscious, my sense of reality, my focus on succeeding, my knowledge; the way I'm supposed to know everything, I remember the abuse, I lose my sense of hearing; noise it's all I listen. I see people being violated when they're not, an unfair treatment to the living, a hit to the anguish.

And I sometimes I ask myself: “When did I develop a sexuality?

I can’t exactly recall if I was born with a pure attraction to a certain sex. I don’t want to blame it on the sexual abuse men gave me, no more the physical and psychological abuses women gave me; both of them hurt me the same way. I don’t believe my sexuality defines me, but it’s part of my personality. I’m widely knowing about more sexualities and the diversity of what sex means. I feel I always knew what was my identification under a preference that it’s supposed to not be “normal” and how proud I am of myself for the first time knowing what I want. Comparatively, no matter what my sexual orientation is I believe there should be established the same standards of moral two or more people need in order to have the healthiest relationship.

My mental ill·ness around penetrates my whole life. The cure? in that nonsense world in my mind; an analogy. Vanished memory from pain disclosures.

Every act falls upon "The Butterfly Effect" and or "The Domino Effect." Every action, although to take a second of the time, has a consequence that changes the world.

Humans have struggled to become an authentic individual complicating themselves in absurd situations. The lack in this notion of existing. “I know all those words, but that sentence makes no sense.” We have structured rules even more to fit correctly with communication

What are the most persuasive words if nothing entertains us anymore?

I have watched people grow since the beginning of something until they are fully admirable.

People seek a foundation of inspiration through someone else. Never think there's a better life than yours when there's a sadder story behind the cover of a book like a smile on someone's face.

It's hard to accept the fact that someone will not see what you see. The truth is hard to find, even harder to see.  When you find a perfect person capable of speaking honest and also being admired by what seems the "whole world' I found it as an obsession. Once again this struggle of existing becomes a consuming challenge. Never lose yourself. The perspective you have in your thoughts can't always be congruent to the sense that is really perceived by others when in reality nothing has been damaged rather than your soul.  Never worry for this whole world to know or else you will never have time to know yourself.

We have always followed a leader like a disoriented road that leads to anywhere. Every time I have to read about powerful people I only care about knowing how they became powerful I know they had a lot of people that obeyed their commands, but I’m deeper into knowing why. I can’t just make people obey my commands so I wonder how this leader perpetuated an image of admiration.

Music is what I listen every day. For me, music is any sound. Music should have no genre it’s all music. I tolerate any noise. Noise it’s all over. The message is what you think you receive. Magical the composition, the space it takes for the next note to play. Photography, arts, theater etc…

“There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do.” – Freya Stark

Is better to read a whole book like effort than to read only the end like talent. Talent is the shortcut in life to succeed. Combine a talent and an effort and express what you are trying to mean.

Escalators are built in our heads as they rise they fall collide with walls in a brain labyrinth.

An idea is a possible thing that can happen as long as it can be realized. I live through a script writing ideas to this world that looks like a movie. ”All these people act in a movie shaped as a sphere. If they only knew where to live because they have the same distance, but different points.”

The world is so small that it makes everyone be related. Then, you find out a woman from New York dated a man from Portland, both separated after a year. The woman dated someone similar as the man, the man did the same as well. The woman married the cousin of the man. The man married the cousin of the woman. The man tweeted: “I miss you.” The woman tweeted: “I miss you more.” All this happened simultaneously, their actions coincide, but they never knew. They lived through a parallel life. It felt like: Outlast a first-person survival horror video game developed and published by Canadian video game developer Red Barrels. Later, there was Outlast: Whistleblower an overlapping prequel to the original game. You see these people being related and they don’t know it. You see a movie and hope for probably the man to date the woman back again and vice versa. It feels like an anxiety to let these people know what would be the best for them. You can’t change someone’s destination and not even see yours from another angle.

Too many things to analyze. How the world works. All about how the world works. I always thought we are “born to work”. And what’s more important in life? Health, education, love... what is it?

I would say is communication. If everyone understood each other everyone would know the necessities of the other.
When it comes to health it is "interesting how the fact of self-discipline does not apply to us because the small pleasures ruined it." Small pleasures of our being left behind the power of the will. The will is the sole power to make you do an action no matter how much you can not or want.

I find a joy when I share all of me. I take any opportunity to give people objects that they want. I spent without remorse more money than the one I should have on people. I value objects anthropomorphizing the way they look. I give people money for free and that’s how I make “friends”. If someone I like is capable of saying to me “Hey, I like your necklace” at that instance I am in the moment of giving that person my necklace. I’m willing to give people my things than for me to have a single one. People are the only reason why money is valuable for me, I just give it all back again to people.

Everything I do is not only to be admired by myself but to be appreciated by someone else. I want to find that special person with whom I want to share the materialization of my world and the values that I own. Constant fights just to see how long we can hold our breaths in a war against oxygen. 

I am alone today, tomorrow and yesterday. I have no supporters the only ones have gone away. I only want to be a little bit more respected. I can’t assure when happiness will commence. Effort looks harder than it might be. Alone we are not and that’s my guarantee.

I’m not defined by anyone since anyone knows me.

I feel.
I think.
I taste.
I perceive.
I listen.
I’m…
Happily alone. ?