First of all: I apologize if, after reading the title, you thought that this would be a step-by-step manual of the same. I wish there was something like a manual or guide on how to love yourself but unfortunately, life isn’t that easy. This is more or less my journey to discovering self actualization. Will it be beneficial to you? That I cannot say. But bear with me till the conclusion, because that is where the real lesson lies. And no, this line is not  a fancy marketing scheme so that you would read the complete thing. It is the truth.
I entered high school with very low self esteem. It wasn’t because I had no friends or was bullied but I had just accepted how high school worked. Beauty was valued and nothing else. Period. This was hard to digest because I had never been a conventional beauty. Anyway, I entered high school hating the world and everyone in it. I had great friends but it was as if no one could get me. Anyone who is in one of the senior classes knows about the number of expectations everyone has, academically and otherwise. Naturally, there was a lot of pressure. Thus, saying that the first term was horrible would be an understatement. Second term was no better. I got into fights with my friends about how they would never get me. I had fights with my parents and later berated myself for not seeing anything from their point of view. I was miserable, sad and all the depressing things one can think of. I hated, no, loathed myself. I started blaming myself for everything bad happening around me.

Then something happened, I woke up one morning, sad as usual. But that morning, I actually questioned why I was feeling this way. It was as if the sensible part of my brain was back from a long vacation.  That day, I spent analyzing each fight, every argument I had had that year. I had to make amends before it was too late. I was responsible for my current condition. I know it is a bizarre thing to say, but it was the truth. I had pretended as if no one got me but I was the one who had put up walls and not let anyone in. I felt ashamed for ever thinking that beauty and someone’s’ value were directly proportional. Come to think of it, it isn’t the beauty that attracts us to someone. It is how comfortable they feel in their own skin. For one whole year, I had hated myself based on whose opinions? Society’s? I had never been a conformist, then why had I felt ashamed to accept the way I looked. I had brought a whole lot of misery on myself. At that moment, I wanted to laugh and cry. I had been silly but now I knew what to do.

I apologized to everyone. The amazing thing was no one criticized me for being so moody and self involved. My friends welcomed me back with open arms and my parents said that they understood what I was going through. It is of  no use pretending, that after all this I had a whole lot of confidence. It took time. But I am happy where I am today. Turns out, I was wrong. Looks aren’t everything. It is the person’s character that matters. I had never been happier at being wrong.

Today, I am the ‘funny’ one. Turns out,humour is my niche . People want me around them ever since I stopped being a big, black cloud of depression. And I am happy. Sure there are still days when I wake up feeling inadequate, but they have become pretty rare. My conclusion is that the best way to make others love you is by loving yourself. Accept yourself the way you are. Life is too short to waste on what others may think of you. The truth is it is so much better looking forward to the day than wanting to crawl back in bed and never get out. It is so much better to talk your feelings out than to thinking that no one gets you.  You get one shot at life, make it count. Live it according to your terms and conditions and not according to those who  aren’t  brave enough to be unique. Live, laugh, love. Go forth and embrace yourself. It is the best feeling.