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Sixteen and Anguish
Two weeks later the test results came back normal. Aria and Benjamin jumped with joy and cried together with happiness because they misunderstood what the amnio test tested. The results were normal that nothing genetically caused Aiden's diagnosis, but Aiden was still diagnosed with ventriculomegaly.
A date was set for an induction in January. Since Aria was attending school, and her water was about to break any minute, she decided to not have it break at school and have an induction. The first induction failed because the petocin given to Aria wasn't dilating her cervix. Aria was discharged from the hospital was was asked to come back in one week.
Januray 29th, 2014. Aria and Benjamin arrived at the hospital once again to have this baby. After 39 long weeks of sad news and hope this day has finally came. The next day Aiden had another ultrasound to be 100% sure that Aiden was head down in the womb. Aria had forbidden to look at the screen to spare her the anguish of seeing bad or good news. Her head looked up at the screen just to see Aiden's head be more enlarged with fluid and the perimeter of his head was much bigger than before. Two months have passed since the last ultrasound and this was the outcome.
Aria had her water get broken by her midwife. The following hours engaged with pain and extreme discomfort. The surgeon who came in the room earlier was the same doctor who checked Aiden's ultrasound. The surgeon looked upon the couple to tell them that Aiden's head has enlarged therefore a C-section was offered.
"I want to say hello before I say goodbye." Every moment of the pregancy flashed within' seconds. The midwife sharing the news that Aiden could pass away before, during or after delivery. The moments when Aria wouldn't feel Aiden move in her tummy and she would panic that his heart stopped beating. The baby shower, the outfits imagined on Aiden, the precious moments bringing him home and cuddling with Aiden at night. Being a mom.
Aria was completely sedated to decrease the possibility of trauma. No one was allowed to be in the room with Aria. Once the mask covered her mouth she was out within' seconds. "I remember waking up fast, feeling ache and pain in my mid section. I remember seeing my loved ones around me. I seen Aiden a couple of feet away from my face. Benjamin was holding him in his arms. All I could do was smile. Aiden was handed to me and I remember feeling him in my arms, kissing his forehead, grabbing his hand and telling him that I love him, that he was my everything." Aiden was born on January 30th, 2014 at 10:38p.m. Two in a half hours later a Neonatal Nurse had given Aria the news that Aiden's heart stopped beating. January 31st, 2014 at 1:06a.m. was things turned into devastation.
Baby Aiden passed away in his daddy's arms. Aria was highly sedated and her emotions weren't catching up with her heartache. Everything happened fast. Things changed with a blink of an eye.
Aria, being a sixteen year-old mother wasn't easy to begin with. Things felt heavy and she felt shattered into a million pieces. "I want my baby" Aria cried. Things will never be the same. "I miss you, Aiden. Mommy loves you."
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Names were changed due to personal privacy purposes.
My story was influenced by me wanting to share this to any other person who could possibly need guidance, information, or advice.
What I faced isn't something I would wish upon my worst enemy. The devastation wasn't easy to cope with but things do get better after time.