As I remember my past, I become more disappointed with myself. Back then I was regarded as the “nice kid.” people knew me for being nice, and I showed immense care towards everybody. I believed that if I exerted enough kindness, everybody would treat me the same and see me as a “great” person. This puerile ideology regretfully shaped my past.

Because I was kind, it was very easy for others to manipulate me into doing things that made me feel uncomfortable. In addition, I would constantly worry about others would perceive me based upon my actions. One time a “friend” and I really used to enjoy collecting Pokemon cards and games. It was a trend back when I was eight years old for kids to sell or trade cards. Hence there were moments when we would trade or sell cards with each other. After trading cards with him, I placed the new cards into my bag. However, when I went to check the cards out I noticed that they were gone. I panicked and went to my friend asking for help only seeing him trade the same card to another kid. I was bewildered with what was going and asked him why he would do such a thing. He made excuses like saying, “Ohh...my mom told me not to trade cards.” But obviously I knew that he stole them. Even though he was lying to me, I still forgave him. These types of incidents happened many times. I believed that I was doing the right thing, but in the end I realized that I was a fool for being too nice.

Now, I am stronger and more mature than my past. I noticed that these things happened because I was a naive child. It was easy to take advantage of me because of my naivete. Since I was nice to others I expected them to return the same favor. But in reality things were not so effortless. I am much smarter and wiser than my previous self. I can still be the kind kid I was, but with a more keen brain and awareness. I have become more comfortable with who I am and what I stand for. I no longer act kind in order to gain others’ approval. Instead, I am kind because I want to be kind. I show no shame or humiliation when being with others. I am kind so that others can feel safe or comfortable when they are around me. I do not want them to go through the same traps that I had fallen into.

As a child I received the same treatment that I gave others. Some would make rumors about me, and others would take advantage of me. This only happened because I let it happen. But now, it is a whole different story. When I notice someone is trying to use me, I can now simply ignore them. It is not necessary for me to go after them and treat them better. I can now draw the limit and make my life less troublesome. I learned that being nice to someone does not make me a better person to be with, but being nice to myself and for others can create a greater and stronger relationship. Now I can go out be kind not just for others, but also for myself.