Everyone in the world, at some point, is subjected to bullying. At some point, everyone feels as though they are worthless and a disappointment to the world. Bullying is one of those silent killers, Adults take it seriously, but do they take it serious enough? There are movements, and fundraisers, and people are trying to stop bullying, but what about the children who are silently suffering? They’ve been bullied online, or outside of school grounds; so what can the teachers do? Those children are feeling horrible about themselves, and feel as though if they speak up, they’ll be a disappointment to their parents, and friends.

I know this because this happened to me. Once I spoke up, it got worse at home for me, my father started treating me differently, because when he was in high school, he was the popular guy. Everyday I was subjected to bullying; my entire middle school career was about how to beat bullying, how to get them to stop laughing and making jokes that weren’t funny, it got so bad that I began cutting, something I never thought I would have to face. (After I began cutting, it became my out for everything all through high school and college) One night these boys, the bullies, were talking to me on MSN, making jokes and I tried deleting the window, but it kept popping back up. I didn’t know what to do, and I wasn’t thinking straight. I finally told my cousin, Matthew, who was in high school at the time, what was going on; I felt like an absolute loser for telling him, but he told me that I wasn’t the only one, that in his first year of high school he was bullied for being quiet and being different. A couple weeks later, once he was on break, he picked me up from school, and he asked me to point out those boys. When I pointed them out, he went and talked to them, they seemed a bit scared, although that was not his intention, he was just older, taller, and had a deep voice. Once he talked to the boys, he then went to one of my teachers, informing them of what was going on, and how I was to scared and to ashamed of what was happening to talk to someone I trusted, because at that point, who could be trusted? After that, my high school career got better, it stayed that way, and I love my cousin for showing me that this stuff happens; as horrible as a situation is; it happens.

It wasn’t until my third year of college, that bullying became a difficulty in my life again. This time was worse; it was my two best friends. A rumor went around our class that I had called my friend “Sandra” something bad, but nobody would tell her what I had said. In the end I never had said anything about her. Since in was summer and we live a bit farther apart, I didn’t talk to her for two months, allowing the situation to just sit. Once school came back, and we were all back in classes, I thought I would make the first move into trying to fix it with “Sandra” but when I got to school, I realized that Sandra, has already told all of our mutual friends what had happened, even though it wasn’t true. I lost all my friends because of some stupid rumor that happened over summer, when I hadn’t even seen her. Yes, there was some other stuff going on with another friend, but it had nothing to do with her, and I would never say something horrible about her, ever. I know what it is like to be subjected to a rumor that isn’t true. For the past three months, my friends have told rumors about me, stopped talking to me, and have said a few mean things about me on social media sites.

In those months that my friends stopped talking to me, my anxiety worsened, I was diagnosed with depression, and I stopped going to school. My cutting started happening again, which I had stopped for a few months. It all started because of some stupid rumor that never actually happened. My boyfriend Brandon has been great, I’ve been with him for 9 months now, and he knows about all the bullying and the anxiety and depression, he has been such an amazing support for me through these last couple months. I’m lucky that I have him, he’s my only friend left from college. I have been going through therapy to stop the cutting and beat the depression, so far, I’ve had some success, although I don’t have many friends anymore, and school can be tough, I’m beating it, I’m not letting anything bug me anymore, and I’ve learned to look at the good and not the bad. I am who I am, and people are always going to believe what they want, no matter the truth behind it. I am who I am, nothing is going to change that, and if you don’t like me, then your not the right person to be in my life.

I guess what I’m trying to have come across, It doesn’t matter how old you are, bullying is everywhere, and I thought it was about time that I told my story. Although this is only a part of the story, its a story people should read. I want everyone out there to know, that no matter what, taking your life, hurting yourself, it isn’t the answer, because things do get better. I have lived through so many bullying scenarios, and I have always come out just fine. It is getting better for me, It WILL get better for you. If your reading this, and your having some trouble, then look to someone you can trust, if you don’t know who to trust, then call the kids help phone, or any hotline, they listen, they help. I know I am just a stranger to you, but you can always message me on here, whenever you want, I’m here to listen, and I will help as much as I possibly can. Bullying is apart of everyone’s lives in some way or another, don’t let it stop you, it can be beat.