Reading the title, it sounds like I had a close friend who passed away or something tragic happened to her.  That is not the case though.  It was a cool September day when my life changed-for the better.  I had felt awful like I was a terrible friend, but I found out that, that was not true.  I am now in eleventh grade, and I had this one friend since fourth grade.  We would always get in little arguments over little details that will not matter even three years from now.  As time went on, though, we would always get through them and be friends again.  For the past couple years, we would argue a bunch with I didn’t think was normal.  Then I started to notice that I wouldn’t have even known what I did and other people would tell me she was mad. I always went back to her asking what I did and what I could do to fix it.  I started to get the routine down. I knew what to say and do for her to actually be my friend again.  It was getting really tiring always having to be the one to save the friendship.  I felt like I was the only one who actually cared throughout the whole friendship. 

A year or so went by, and we started to drift apart. We still hung out occasionally, and she still knew I was there if she needed someone to vent too.  The summer between our sophomore and junior year, I notice she had changed for the worse. She started talking about drugs and alcohol all the time, and she ended up cheating on her boyfriend.  I was not into that at all.  I would sit in my room at night and think, ‘I’m so confused and don’t know what to do.  She is my friend, but I really don’t want to head down the wrong path.’  That Tuesday I knew I needed to do something about it before I headed down the wrong path and ended up in a position that I really didn’t want to be in.  I was scared because I didn’t know how it would turn out in the end. 

After school I went home and texted her. I just said that I didn’t agree with the decisions she was making, and I didn’t want to get involved with her problems that all this could cause.  I felt awful. I cried. I cried an enormous amount actually. She ended up replying saying, “You said you would always support me in my decisions,” and “I can’t believe your attitude is like this.” When I read those words, it made me feel really bad.  I just wanted the best for her honestly, and I was just trying to explain to her that it’s not “cool,” and it doesn’t make people “popular” like everyone claims it does. I didn’t know what to do I was going to tell her parents so maybe they could keep her on track, but I didn’t want her to hate me even more than she did now.  I really wanted to support her and be there for her, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.  I knew what she was doing was wrong.

I talked to some other friends of mine at school the next day.  They said I made the right decision, but I just couldn’t bring myself to believe it.  I talked to the guidance counselor for reassurance. When I walked into the guidance counselor’s office, it was really gloomy.  I told myself I wasn’t going to cry over and over again before actually walking in.  As soon as I sat down, I started crying.  My exact words to her were, “I told myself I wasn’t going to cry.” She gave me a box of tissues, and said, “It’s totally fine.”  The main reason I talked to her was because I really just needed to know that what I did was good decision and that I wasn’t being a bad friend.  She said that she was seeing some peer pressure, and that I made the right decision. She said she was proud of me for sticking up for what I believe. 

I know I still have a long time to go, but I think this is the best decision I’ve made in my life, at least so far.  I’m talking to people I wouldn’t normally talk to and actually making new friends.  At first when this all started, I felt alone because for the past almost seven years she was always there.  I am doing great though, and I’m happy I had the nerve to break away from the crowd and be my own person.  Still to this day I think she talks about me in the hallway whenever I walk by, but it doesn’t even bother me anymore.  I know I made the right decision, and if she wants to waste her time talking garbage about me, well she can go ahead. I know that I’m headed down the right path now.