In my life I have experienced a lot of hardships; however, I would say the worst hardship I experienced was depression. At the young age of ten, I had the worst year of my life which caused me to go into depression. The year began with my eldest brother graduating from high school. This meant that he would be going to college far away. My brother and I were the closest out of my siblings; when I was a baby I did not cry for my mother or my father, I cried for him. The bond created when I was a baby has strengthened over the years. My brother, Gregory, really aided me in life; he always had my back. I had lived 10 years of my life with him and now he had to leave. We would never live in the same house again. We would never yell at each other for hogging the bathroom, or watch early morning cartoons together on the couch, or even make dinner meals for the family. It would never be the same. Greg got accepted to Lehigh University in Pennsylvania which is a great school, so I should have been happy for him, but I was disheartened that he had to leave. Greg leaving took a toll on me, but my year began to get worse.
Both of my parents had worked jobs that allowed them to be home often because they only had to work a few hours a day. I was always used to having one of my parents’ home with me. They would always take me to school, pick me up from school, and whenever I was having a bad day they would take me to get ice cream. This luxury came to a halt when both of my parents got hired at new jobs that paid a lot more than they were used to. The money coming in was great for our family. We were able to afford a lot more and become financially stable. However, I hardly got to see my parents. My mother left at 4:30 in the morning in order to arrive at work by 5:00. My father had to leave at 5:00 in the morning to get to work by 6:00. Neither of my parents arrived home until 6:30 pm. Since my mother and father had to work long hours, they had to hire a nanny to take me to school, pick me up from school, and watch me in the mornings before school started. I hated that I barely saw my parents anymore; it was like they had become distant strangers. This was hard to adjust to, yet this year began to get even worse.
At the age of ten, I used to play with a boy named Cory. Cory’s mother had grown up with my mother. Cory’s family and my family felt like we were related and his mother was my godmother. Whenever Cory and I saw each other we would always have a good time. My favorite memories are when Cory and I used to play on the basketball court. Cory would always challenge me and say the boys were better than girls. I proudly stood up and said I would prove him wrong. Cory and I played and just when he was about to beat me, he missed the shot. From there I won the game. After the game I shouted, “Girls are better than boys!!!!” Now that I think about it, I know that Cory used to let me win those basketball games so he would make me happy. We were such good friends that we made best friend rings for each other out of ring pops. One day we promised each other to always be best friends and never to get mad at each other. One afternoon, when I got home from school my mother was already home. This was odd because since taking her new job she had not been home this early. When my mother turned around I saw she had been crying. Something terrible had happened that day. Cory was playing basketball in a tournament and had made the winning shot. After taking the shot, he turned towards his father and gave him a thumbs up. A few seconds later he dropped to the ground and died instantaneously. When my parents delivered the news to me I was in total shock. I wanted to cry so badly, but nothing came out, I just stood there paralyzed. Cory’s death was very painful; however the worst year of my life wasn’t over yet.
My childhood dog and best friend, Kaygee also died this year. A few weeks after Cory’s passing, we took Kaygee to the vet for an annual check-up. The vet found something wrong with her, she was not able to go to the bathroom and the food she was eating was backing up into her stomach. The vet gave us some medicine and new food that should have helped the issue. It did not help Kaygee and she began to sit around the house all day. Her appetite was gone, and she would not lick my face to show her affection when I came home from school. I knew that we had to take her back to the vet. My father agreed and that night we took Kaygee to the vet. In the car ride I hugged her closely and whispered in her ear, “I need you Kaygee.” As the vet’s office came into sight my heart began to pound faster and faster. I picked Kaygee up for the last time and gave her what would be my last hug. I placed her on the vet’s table and he said that Kaygee would need urgent care. The next day we were waiting to see if she was okay and we heard the phone ring. My sister jumped up and ran for the phone. Her face changed from happy to sad and that is when I knew that Kaygee had just passed. I ran to my sister and cried, I could not move or eat or do anything. All the hardships that I had experienced this year caused me to go into depression.
The next few weeks were rocky. I cried all through the day and all through the night. I wore my brother’s clothes. I wore baggy sweatpants and a sweatshirt to school every day. I did not care about my life anymore. Why was I even alive? Was it worth living life if I had to experience hardships like this? My teacher had to pull me out of the classroom basically every day to try and calm me down. She would send me to the school guidance counselor. At first when I met her, I was a little nervous that she would judge me; however, when I got there it was quite the opposite.
Mrs. Young would allow me to cry for as long as I need to. She always comforted me when I needed it. Eventually I warmed up to Mrs. Young and I told her what had happened that year. Mrs. Young tried to cheer me up in whatever way possible. One time she even allowed me to sing karaoke. After some time with Mrs. Young, she helped me to reach the conclusion that what had happened, happened, there was nothing I did wrong, and there was no way I could go back.
My hardships, have given me inspiration for living life. I understand that my life is a gift that I should appreciate. Although my heart was wounded, I learned to re-patch it. A famous writer states, “Life is a series of punches. It presents a lot of challenges. It presents a lot of hardship, but the people that are able to take those punches and able to move forward are the ones that really do have a lot of success and have a lot of joy in their life and have a lot of stories to tell, too” (Turner). That year in my life really was difficult and sometimes it still is very painful, but I learned to use that hardship as inspiration. That year really opened me up and allowed me to be grateful for the opportunities presented in my life.