Prom season is a time where you strive to perfect yourself. You crave to have the perfect dress, hair, shoes the whole ensemble. Most girls don't have to strive for the perfect body, but I did.

Around early November I had found the most spectacular dress. I was scrolling on a popular dress website when “BAM!” this dress hit me in the face in the blink of an eye. I had known this was the dress of my dreams. My dress had a beautiful aqua color, tight in the waist but loose as it descended down. The top caught my eye the most; an elegant translucent jewel design coated the entire piece. I knew that this was my dress, so we took my measurements and put the order in.

I had always struggled with keeping my weight within a decent range in the past, but I was not going to let that affect my perfect prom dress. I always felt like my physical appearance was not an acceptable size for society. I felt if my body didn't look like a models I was fat. I never had the slim frame a lot of my friends have.

When my dress arrived I was ecstatic and bouncing around the house. I raced upstairs like I was running for a gold medal in the Olympics. I put the dress on and it fit like a glove. The only adjustment needed was to hem the bottom of the dress.

Months passed and I was so excited for May to come. I did not pay attention or think twice about my dress fitting me as well as it had when I first got it. When the day came to alter the dress my mom took me to a wonderful tailor. I was so excited to show off my dress. I dashed into the dressing room only to find one problem: my dress would not zip. I was devastated and the tears started flowing. Prom was in less than 3 weeks and my dress didn't fit. This was a nightmare. All I remember was the conversation held next.
“Alyssa what's the matter?” My mother asked.
“I don't fit into my dress. Prom is ruined. What am I going to do?” I replied.
“Just shed a couple of pounds before prom.”

Just shed a couple of pounds? My mom was so naïve. She did not understand for me that was much easier said than done. I had 2 months to get my body back to the perfect shape for my dream dress. This was where it all went down hill.

Food became less appetizing. Every time I would go to eat my mind took over and made me think of prom. I went from eating recommended amounts of food to maybe a couple of crackers a day. I had struggled with not eating to lose weight in the past, but not this severe. I was starving myself because of the pressure I had to lose weight for prom. I wanted to look and feel perfect. Every day I would come home and check to see if my prom dress fit, and that would determine the amount I could eat for that. I was a prisoner in my own body.

No one around me was aware of the damage I put on myself. I would always have an excuse as to why I wasn't eating. The symptoms of anorexia are what gave me away to my mom. I was so irritable and all I did was sleep. My grades on tests were dropping because I couldn't focus. At this point prom was a week away.

One day after school I was fed up. I was so hungry I ran to my house from the bus stop. I had not realized my malnourished body became weak and mid-run I collapsed while sprinting. All I remember was opening my eyes to my mom and dad hovering over me questioning what had happened. All that I could utter was, “Prom.”

I told my mom everything, how I had struggled with this problem in the past. I was shielded from my external appearance because my mind was blinding me. I spoke mainly in sobs and cries, “That day at the tailor changed me, I was striving to be perfect for one night to only ruin my body.”

My mother simply said something that had changed my life for the better: “That day did not change you, today did. You're a beautiful girl with the dress and you are beautiful without. You are born with what you have and you are blessed, be happy with what is yours.”

I had let a material object define who I was. Those simple words freed me from my wicked thoughts of my body. At this point I held my mom and cried, not because I was sad but because I was free. I had never told anyone what my struggle had consisted of every time I was pressuring myself to lose weight.

In the end, May 17th did come. I did lose the weight, but not by starving myself. I took the harder but healthier route and I was so happy with how I looked. I did it the right way by working out and eating healthier. I'm not one to toot my own horn, but after that struggle I did look as perfect as I wanted to prom night. I don't think it was the dress that made me beautiful, but my new sense of feeling confident in the body I was blessed with.

I hadn't told anyone of what was occurring in my life at the time. To this day no one knows but my parents, not even my boyfriend of a year. Most people's lives have been impacted by tragic events occurring. I understand mine was a simple dose of drama queen; but it did change my life forever. I now see life in a new perspective. I have not thought once about returning to starving myself. I am proud of overcoming a battle that has changed my life forever.