We lurk amongst you unnoticed. We are in your schools, your malls, even your homes. We are the fangirls. And we are everywhere. Some of you may not know what a “fangirl” is. Some of you may be wondering, “What is this strange new word? Should I be frightened?” The answer to the latter question is yes. Be afraid, be very afraid. As for the question of what is a fangirl, a fangirl is someone who is extremely enthusiastic, basically to the point of obsession, about a band, a television show, a person, or anything really. I’m sure there are even people out there who fangirl about cheese. Fangirling is not just a hobby, it is a way of life. There are many subsections of fangirls, from those who fangirl over One Direction to those who fangirl over Doctor Who. People can belong to many fandoms or to just one, but let’s be honest, it’s practically impossible to belong to just one. Once you join your first fandom, it’s just a matter of time before you fall down the rabbit hole and discover that you’ve somehow joined about 27 different fandoms. For anyone who doesn’t know, a “fandom” is a collection of people who fangirl over the same things. For example, if you fangirl about Harry Potter, you would be a part of the Harry Potter fandom.

If you’re on Tumblr. and you aren’t a fangirl, then you may have heard of us. We’re the other half of Tumblr.: those people who come onto your “deep” posts about “life” and “love” and improve them with pictures from Supernatural or Doctor Who with captions like “MY FEELS” or “OMG THIS IS SO DESTIEL I JUST CAN’T”. Tumblr. is the fangirl’s natural habitat, and many of us spend 99.9% of our time scrolling down our Dashboards and crying about attractive fictional characters. Speaking honestly, I actually do not understand what people do on Tumblr. if they aren’t fandom blogs. The mind, it baffles. If this was last year, I would probably be stabbed for even mentioning Tumblr. I’d be stabbed for mentioning any of this. Actually, I still might be stabbed for mentioning any of this; I’m divulging trade secrets here. So let’s just have this be our little secret okay? Okay.

Now, we’ve come to the time when we’re about to go into the deep, dark corners of the minds of fangirls. If you keep reading, there’s no turning back. You see, there’s this thing called shipping. Shipping is an integral part of fangirling. When you say that you “ship” two people together, you are saying that you support them in a relationship. It can refer to platonic relationships, but let’s be real here guys, it usually means romantic relationships. For example, many people in the Sherlock fandom ship John Watson and Sherlock together; meaning, basically, that they want them to get married and have like 600 children and be together forever. That’s the dream. You could say that Watson and Sherlock, or “Johnlock”, is many Sherlock fans’ OTP. I know, I know, more strange words. Learning about fangirls is like learning a new language. One day, the language of the fangirls will be taught in classrooms across the nation. Anyway, “OTP” stands for “One True Pairing”, meaning the ship that someone ships the most. I’m explaining this fairly casually, but this is some serious stuff we’re talking about. Pro tip: If you want to insult someone’s OTP, don’t. I don’t care if they’re shipping Draco Malfoy with an apple (which, yes, is a real thing). If you insult their OTP I cannot guarantee your safety.

So that’s a very basic insight into the mind of a fangirl, but to really make my point, here is a day in the life of your stereotypical fangirl:
7:00 am: Wake up for school disgruntled because your dream about your OTP has been unceremoniously cut short.
7:45 am -3:00 pm: Spend most of your school day relating everything you see to one of your fandoms. (For example: “Look, a roof! Sherlock fell from a roof once. Reichenbach feels!”, “Look, that girl is wearing a ring. Frodo had a ring once. My preciousssss”, etc.) Make some fandom related jokes. Cry because you can’t go on Tumblr.
4:00 pm – 6:00 pm: Go home and log on to Tumblr. Briefly consider doing your homework. Get distracted by a picture of Matt Smith on Tumblr. before you can actually be productive.
6:30 pm: Eat lots of food.
7:00 pm – 11:00 pm: Tumblr.
11:30 pm: Finally remember your homework. Cry a little.

12:30 am – 6:45 am: More Tumblr. No sleep.
7:00 am: Wake up for school disgruntled because your dream about your OTP has been unceremoniously cut short.

This has been a crash-course in the art of fangirling. I’ve done my best, but honestly, this is just the tip of the iceberg. If you still have no idea what is going on, I’m sorry. In the words of Youtube sensation danisnotonfire: “Run. Run, and never get involved in this.”