It had been a long day. After tests, presentations, and a tiring sports practice all I wanted to do was go home and unwind. As I stood on the school sidewalk, eagerly waiting for my dad to pick me up, a friend approached me and asked, “Hey do you know what happened to that girl?”. Before I could get any more answers my dad was there and I had to leave, confused and concerned wondering what possibly could’ve happened. I checked social networking as I normally would, but was taken back when I began to see the explosion of RIP Danielle Dillard posted everywhere. Breathing heavier and my thoughts not straight, I nervously wondered if it was true. My first reaction, my first thought was what I wanted to believe that it was some sort of hoax, knowing that my home school, where she attended, had just participated in “Every 15 Minutes”, a program designed to raise awareness towards drunk driving and its consequences. One of the activities in the program is to select a few students as “victims” to get the students fully understand the possibility of what could happen. However, as the posts became more sentimental and gained popularity I began to realize a true tragedy had just occurred. Motionless, my mind went blank. I didn’t know who to ask, who to call, who I could reach out to to see if they were okay. It’s different hearing about tragedies on the news or on the internet, in a place you’ve never heard of with people you don’t know. Of course I am saddened by them, but I’ve never felt the full impact or any of the after waves that follow.

She was two years older than me, a girl from my neighborhood, a girl I had gone to school with in my younger years, a girl whom I looked up to and admired. She had one of those charming personalities, drawing everyone near her, making everyone want to be her friend. I only had left to wonder, how could something so horrible happen to someone so young, beautiful, and innocent? Naturally, I assumed something along the lines of a bad car accident and it did not cross my mind for a second that it could be any worse than that. I sympathized and thought, you know wrong place wrong time it could happen to anyone, but at the same time it served as a rude awakening in the sense that no one was safe from the possibility of death that loomed over our heads each and every day. I arrived home from what seemed like one of the longest car ride that would never end, and continued to sit in the car with a blank face, processing what had happened. I can’t say we were friends, a casual “hello” the few occasions we saw each other, but I had never felt so empty, as if a part of me had gone along with her. As I collected my things and exited the car, I walked inside to my normal home, where I felt a sense of disgust where here I was able to go about my own life, when the lives so many people I knew, friends and family of Danielle, were just destroyed.

With my appetite gone, I dolefully sat the dinner table, avoiding all conversation; trying to keep all thoughts to myself and wrap my head around the fact never in my life will I see her again. In the background I heard the TV murmur her name and I raced closer to hear what had happened. My heart sank and I immediately went numb when I read the words, “High school senior murdered: Danielle Dillard”. So many questions flooded my mind as I began to feel dizzy and faint; never before experiencing a murder of someone I had known. As the story unfolded, it was revealed Dillard was killed the house of her army recruiter, attempting to help him through thoughts of suicide. What started as a selfless act transfigured into a catastrophe, an astonishing murder-suicide. Thinking about how her generous spirit cost her her life was sickening. I quickly ran into the shower, trying to rinse the day away before it all set in. I not only thought about her story, but the world and its crimes that happen every day to innocent, good-hearted people. While some hated the officer, I personally do believe in the mentally ill and this story amidst all the sadness gave me hope in the desire of some people to help others in what has turned into a greedy and cut-throat world.

In the days after, a vigil was organized for the community to honor and celebrate her life and achievements; showing her she was missed. The sight was truly beautiful; hundreds of balloons released into the air letting her know she was in our thoughts. What was even more amazing was that people who didn’t know each other were hugging and crying together as if they had been friends for years. I thought of it as one last gift, her benevolent self smiling down upon the community she had united. Weeks after was would’ve been her senior night for the girl’s lacrosse team and it was my school up against them. We knew we were in for some raw emotions, but no one was quite ready for all of the love and passion her teammates still had to give. Every senior as they walked down the field for one of their last times used their speech that traditionally is acknowledges their accomplishments, to instead honor and remember what many of them referred to not as a teammate, but a sister. Teary-eyed and noses sniffling, everyone took the field with sticks pointed at the sky, blowing kisses into the air, letting her know they were playing with her by their side. I had never seen anything so genuine and could only hope she was watching. After the game, as a sign of respect we gave Danielle’s mother a bouquet of flowers and she immediately started to cry. She hugged each of us, complete strangers, as if we were her own daughters repeatedly thanking us for thinking of her and keeping her spirit alive.

It’s been a few months and I still don’t go one day without her crossing my mind. What a weird feeling it is to have someone you barely know have such a great impact on your life, making me think twice about how I treat those around me, letting them know I care. It also serves as an inspiration for me to make good in the world because when it is my time to leave this Earth, I can only hope to be remembered as half a good a person as she was. I only wish my wakeup call didn’t have to come like this, someone tragically losing their life for me to realize how fragile life is, and the importance of cherishing it.