It seems that as time passes by and the world around me changes, I stand here like a deer in headlights,stunned unable to move or grasp the direction I need to move toward. What I’m trying to say is how much things have changed and how lost I’ve gotten in all this mess we call life. I used to be so determined and focused. I was certain on which direction I wanted my life to move in and how far I wanted to go in life. I was certain of the man I loved and how I saw him in my future. As of now I’m not sure of anything and I’m questioning everything about my life and everyone in it. Why? I don’t know. I find myself doubting the love I have for my man, I doubt whether or not I want him in my life, if we have a future or not. How does that happen ? I’m talking about the man I’ve fallen so deeply for,the man I’ve literally given my everything to. That’s how I know something is wrong, I know I’m lost and I just want to be found. My future right now is hazy because I don’t know where I’ll be x amount of years from now. I have two paths in front of me with no idea on which one to take. As I wait to decide my future I find myself in a rut of apathy. Everything I used to love , I’ve abandoned. Why? I’m lost and need to find myself.