There are moments where I think that everything is back to normal, that I’m doing okay. However, those thoughts shatter painfully very frequently. I sit in school wondering whether it’ll be over soon or not, though I know it won’t be. The pain flows through me and will for a long time. I am strong, but pieces of me keep cracking and falling off and I don’t know how to stop it.
People walk these halls like everything is perfect, hiding the fact they go home and cry most nights. Well I’m sick of hiding. For so long I have hidden all my sadness, my anger, my regret, all feelings inside. This is the way I feel sometimes. I want to shout, but never do. People will never understand how much I hurt, and some don’t even care. Why not? Why do people just sit around and never ask what’s wrong?
You know that saying, “Life is a roller coaster,”? Well that’s exactly what it is. It has its ups and downs, twists and turns. When I say “downs”, I mean all the way down to Hell and back. Sometimes, the time spent in Hell is way longer than we would’ve ever expected. That roller coaster isn’t exactly my definition of a joy ride.
People say it’s a part of life, but I don’t think it should be. I’m not saying we all have to be perfect, living perfect lives where nothing bad ever happens. I guess I don’t actually know what I want to change. I just don’t want people being so depressed that they run out of class to break down in the school bathroom. I don’t want any more suicides due to a best friend being a backstabber and not caring about who they hurt. I just want change, but then again, so do a lot of people. Doesn’t mean it’s going to happen.