It never used to matter. What guys thought of me.
But when you came along, that all changed for me.
You were tall, cute, intimidating.
Not much of anyone’s interest.
But mine.
I was hooked on to getting to know you better. I asked questions. Seeing what everyone knew about you.
The crazy part was, that just a day and a half ago, I couldn’t care less.
But, when you decided to spill out a secret of mine, and then actually talk to me, well, I just couldn’t help but notice you more than I did before.
I thought your eyes were the brightest blue. They seemed to sparkle when you laughed or smiled. I loved it when you smiled. But, it didn’t happen often.
You kept distance. From everyone, it seemed.
In the halls, you’d smile at me, even say hi.
But that all changed when I had told you the pitiful secret.
I liked you. A lot.
Soon, you were giving me glares instead of smiles.
Running into me like I wasn’t even there.
It hurt. And I cried. Over you. Almost every night.
But I still liked you. I can’t ever say the other words. Not even think about them. Everyone else would say I was. But I wasn’t. At least I didn’t think so.
They thought I was in love with you.
I was shocked by the theory. I didn’t even give it a second thought.
Whenever someone asked me about it, it was a simple ‘No’ or ‘Of course not!’
But I always wondered if I was really telling the truth or just lying to myself.
There were many days that went by when I would think about the possibility of me being in love with you. But it all went away when I heard horrid news.
You were moving to Wyoming.
That was a time zone away and too far for any heart to take.
It broke. Painfully and violently.
And I let it.
I cried. But only because of the pain and suffering.
I felt not only heartbroken, but not whole.
Like half of me was missing.
And then I had come to a conclusion.
You had taken half my heart with you.
I became angry with myself for ever opening up my heart to you. I didn’t understand why I ever did it.
I always thought you were nice. Always thought you would change.
You were everything I thought you never were,
And nothing like I thought you could have been.
And I know, we never were together, and we never did see what could have happened. I gave up, and you continued to make me feel like garbage.
Tossed out and unwelcome to stay.
So why you took my heart, I don’t know.
But I can tell you have it, or I would have just forgotten about you by now.
I can never erase the times you hurt me, or made me cry.
But there were times that were special.
Only, I just can’t remember them.
I guess that’s what happens when you get a broken heart.
All you remember is the bad.
When you always seem to be longing for the good.