The first time I thought I was in love I feel hard for this guy named Alan. Even though in my head I knew we couldn’t really BE together. It was 2007-2008, a typical normal day for me at school; logging onto the computer, getting away from all the drama. But today was different, today was the day when I met the only boy who could melt me away, but I didn’t know then, that Alan was the only boy who could tear me down and make me feel like nothing.

On this website, I recently go on; you could listen to music and be able to message other people. I met my true love on this site. We began talking for a month, but it just seemed like 2 years to me. After that little bit of time talking, Alan wanted more then friendship with me. I was in total shock, but then again relieved. I said yes almost automatically. The only strange thing was that he lived in New Mexico and I lived in Michigan. He said he didn’t care about the distance (and neither did I), he only cared about me.

We spent each moment together in each others hearts, minds, phone calls, and at that website. We were completely honest with each other, didn’t cheat and told each other our deepest darkest secrets.

Until Alan dumped me for this girl he claims he liked since middle school. Yes, I was devastated, but I still loved him.

About 4 months has past and I finally got a hold of him. Turns out Alan and his girlfriend broke it off a few weeks before the 4th of July. Alan told me how much he missed me, how much he loved me. He told me he didn’t know how much he loved me until he had lost me. Since Alan opened up to me, I opened up to him. He swore he still loves me, but doesn’t want a relationship with me. He just wanted a “friends with benefits” relationship.

It’s been awhile since I heard his sweet, comforting voice or even had any contact with him, Alan doesn’t want a thing to do with me, but that’s another story.


You were the only boy who could melt me away, and you were the only boy who could tear me down and make me feel like nothing.




P.S. It stopped beating for you