It was a day like any other… I was chilin’, being the “kewl dood” that I was, trying out fakeys, back when I didn’t have the guts to try 180’s, but I still felt pretty bad sassafras. Well, if I had to say where the whole “trigger event” or “inciting incident” was, I guess it would’ve been when Luan called me over. He wanted to prank call; nothing big, we were screwballs, messing with people was our thing. Luan gave me the plan: He calls a cab, I pretend I called it but don’t get in, genius right? Moving on, I told him I understood and a few minutes later the cab pulled up, one of those shiny SUV’s, the kind you know have killed a few dogs.

Well, I suppose this is mistake number two, number one probably prank calling the cab in the first place. I’d misunderstood Luan’s instructions; I was supposed to stand by the fence and pretend to be the person who called the cab, not actually get into the cab. Anyway, after I got into the cab I told the cab driver to bring me to the Log Cabin, if you didn’t know, the Log Cabin is like ten steps away from the park. He told me he’d bring me there and I thought maybe this guy was okay, if he didn’t mind being prank called and all. Well, those thoughts quickly vanished as we passed the Log Cabin; we were speeding up too, which was getting me kind of worried.

“So, where we goin’?” I asked.

“You see, you see,” was Mr. Creepy Cab Driver’s response.

As much as I enjoyed The Cab Man’s company, I was pretty spooked, so I tried to strike a conversation, “If I jump out, will you get in trouble?”

“No! You get in trouble, because you choose to jump out!” replied my mentally handicapped cab driver, he’d pretty much double dog dared me to jump out, how could I resist? Before jumping, I opened the door and just let it hang there, maybe I hoped he’d take me seriously and slow down, but he didn’t and I jumped, like the dumb sassafras I am.

I still regret not giving him one last comeback, or at least flipping him off, but anyway, after jumping I must have been pretty shook up, I hadn’t even noticed my hat and shades were missing. I ran to the park, yeah, I jumped out of a moving vehicle going 25 mph and I can still run. When I got to the park, people asked what happened, I told them I jumped out of a cab, nothing big, some kid even took pictures. Personally I felt fine, if it waProxy-Connection: keep-alive
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’t for all the dried blood on my head I probably could have told the people playing playfully at the park he’d dropped me off at the Police Station.

After checkin’ the park I biked home, and the rest, is history.