A few weeks ago, I broke up with someone that I was 100% sure I loved. It wasn't for anything you would normally think it was: Cheating, Abuse, etc. But because he was just not the right person for me. I felt like sh*t before it happened and thought he would at least comfort or reassure me, but instead, he agreed with me. I drew the line there and broke up with him. 

As I sit here writing this, I think about how stupid I am for still loving him. I think about the people who have told me not to be with him because he would hurt me but I didn't listen. I said some very hurtful things to him and he honestly didn't say anything hurtful. 

He told me that he knew he screwed up, but he didn't try to apologize or fix it. I have tried to be civil with him for the sake of our friend group but in all actuality, I just want to be able to feel his arms around me again and remember how it felt to have him love me and tell me how beautiful he thought I was. 

Sometimes, it feels like things are back t how they were before we started dating. When I had just had a crush on him and he had no idea. Part of me wants to tell him how much I still love him and how much I wish things could go back to how they were but I know I can't.

I wish this were easier.