I was walking down a hot suburban sidewalk barefoot.  No socks, no shoes, only bare skin hitting the hot concrete in a deadening beat, pain shooting up my ankles, my red toes stinging with each step.  Blisters forming on the bottoms of my feet, limping down the deserted streets.   Alone.   Rows of the same generic house going on and on either side of me.  Dead scratchy patches of foreboding grass in need of watering, scorching pathways that zigzagged up towards their grey plaster boxes, the odd metal mailbox here and there.  On and on, cold glaring eyes of each blank window staring down. 

 I took a deep breath, long and slow.  I walked faster and harder, the deadening beat strengthening leaving me shivering and weak.  Sweat pouring from my face, my waist length scratchy brown hair becoming more burdening by the second, and my clothes annoyingly tight.  With each footfall, the stinging of a thousand needles in my feet became worse.  I knew I would have to stop soon, but right then, I did not care. I had to get away. Faster. Move Faster. Faster.  

Where am I going?  What does it matter? Move faster.  Why am I doing this? Move faster.  Thoughts swirled like thick fog in my head, and then one surfaced and cold hard doubt filled my mind.  Should I go back?  I stopped my limping walk and sat down hard on the cement.  The burning sidewalk seared menacingly against my sun-tanned legs.  Go back to where?  Why does everything have to be so hard?  Why is everything so complicated?  The nauseating smell of cigarette smoke filled my nostrils as the sweltering breeze carried it my way.  Better to not linger here.   I forced myself to stand, brushed off my shorts and continued on my journey to nowhere.  I might as well be walking in circles.  

The grey boxes shaped as houses became fewer, the sidewalk faded away, with long stretches of dust that billowed into small cyclones replacing it.  The ground leveled out into a flat plain with a few mangled oak trees dotting the horizon line.  I stepped in an anthill, and inhaled sharply, getting a face full of gritty sand.  Ugh not again.  Spluttering and spitting I doubled over choking on the foul stuff.  I spat at the ground and managed to dislodge most of the dirt from inside my mouth, some still sticking to my tongue.  I wiped off my mouth and turned to face the darkening sky.  

A thousand colors of the sunset flowed throughout the great expanse, lighting up the bottoms of the clouds turning them pink, orange, and gold.  It’s so beautiful.  Birds lifted from the sparse trees and flocked into the sky, diving in and out of sight, creating patterns that swirled in and out of the cotton candy clouds.  They grouped together before splitting apart, flying in synchronized rhythms of movement far above me.  Silvery fish, flying in the setting sun.  The dappled clouds began to fade away as the deep sun sank below the horizon, the silhouette of the birds still flying in looping arks.  I am not sure for how long I stood watching the sunset that day, but when I had turned away, I felt at peace with the world, filled with new strength and courage.  

I went home after that.