This week draws a curtain close to my third year in highschool. Saying that, only makes me worry even more about what is yet to come. This year started out bittersweet, from being with a boyfriend who was fairly abusive and made me really hate myself most times, to feeling guilty about when I finally decided I don't need someone like that in my life. I would say this year has definitely changed me as a person, because I have become more happy with who I am. Which is pretty crazy for me to say considering a year ago I really hated myself because the guy I was with made me into a mini him. Which is one of the worst things and I would not recomend it. Senior year is going to be even more stressful than this year and I am but I'm not looking forward to it. My sophomore and Junior year, I've had to watch two special boys leave me in their transition from highschool to the real world and it hurts a lot. I feel like I have developed into this beautiful and strong person who will not bow down to a man again. I will not accept a defeat when I feel strongly about a subject. I will not accept being a subject of a man's desires in any way, shape, or form. I will not degrade myself because someone doesn't like me and I will not let myself be degraded by others.- especially people I feel dear to. Junior year flew by pretty fast and I am still terrified of what's to come.

I don't regret cutting people out, because sometimes, when people are so toxic, you have to. Some people aren't going to stick around forever, sometimes they vanish in a world that you refuse to live in. They go into a spiral of bad choices, but it's not your fault, no matter what they say. You are worth more than something someone said one time. I have never been so humiliated in my life than I have in the beginning of my junior year. But it is definitely a lesson that has to be learned. But now, I am with a new guy, but rumors have been spread since I was with the other guy; rumors that I cheated, lied, etc. I was mistreated and if you were in a situation like I was, you'd want to leave and be safe too. To whoever reads this, reach out to someone you trust and talk about it. Because it's only going to get worse if you bottle it up inside you. You are worth so much more than what others say...