Moments happen in each person’s life that change them. This particular moment does not alter them completely, but it can definitely change something. Death is a major change, depending on who the person is. Death happens everyday, but the world seems to still turn. When someone close passes away, the world stops on this particular day.

The day my grandpa passed away is one specific moment that has changed my life. His name was Sheddrick Joseph. He was diagnosed with a type of cancer called Multiple Myeloma in March of 2016. We knew the day was coming for him to pass, but we were not actually ready for it. I do not think anyone can prepare for a death. We had been praying for him so much, and we knew he was suffering. He died peacefully on December fourth, three days before his birthday. I was in my room getting dressed to go Christmas shopping with my family. All of a sudden, my mom opens my bedroom door and tells me the bad news. All I did was look at her as I continued to get ready. My mom and I have an open relationship, so she does not have to sugar coat anything. She asked if I wanted to go to his house to see him, but I declined and went shopping with my family instead. I did not want to see his body, and she understood. She even said my last memory of him should be a happy one. Throughout the day, I talked to my aunt, uncle, and grandma about how I felt. I was nervous, shocked, heartbroken, and afraid. My grandma, who was not married to him anymore, was truly upset too. That afternoon, I told my aunt I wanted to go to his house with the rest of the family. As she pulled in the driveway and parked the car, I looked at his house and started crying for the first time. His death had all begun to be real for me. It was hard to look at the house where I spent most of my childhood, knowing he was not going to be there anymore. Memories started rushing through my mind. My aunts, uncles, and cousins had been there all day. I was fearful they might not understand why I waited so long, but I knew they were glad I was finally there. I could smell the old people-like smell as I came in. I could see my relatives waiting for me to hug each one of them. They were crying, talking, and apologizing. I felt their hugs and I knew I was going to be okay. The coroner knocked on the front door a few minutes after I walked in. As they took his body, I could hear my step-grandma crying out loud. I was the only one to never see his body. I remember feeling so upset and being in disbelief. I could barely sleep through the night. My mom and my aunt stayed with my step-grandma for a few nights to comfort her.

My grandpa and I had the best relationship. My dad does not live close, so he was my father figure. When I was little, until eighth grade, he would pick me up from school almost everyday in his old blue minivan. My mom was in college at UNO when I was little, so most of my nights were spent with him, my step-grandma, and my aunt. He brought me to catechism every Tuesday when I was in public school, and we went to mass together every Sunday morning. He is the reason I have my faith in God. He was and still is my favorite man. Losing him has changed my life in major and minor ways. He was the type of man to call if you ever needed anything. He was always there for everyone. If I need a ride somewhere, I still wish I could call him to do the driving. I will never hear the song “On Eagle’s Wings,” the same anymore. It was his favorite song. My aunt had necklaces made with his signature on them, and I wear it everyday. I feel lost when I do not have the necklace around my neck. I think of him at random times, and I have to hold back tears. I have never had someone so close to me pass away. I can now put myself in others’ shoes and understand how they feel.

My pawpaw’s passing away has had a monumental impact on me, more than any other moment in my life. He was and still is important to me. He is part of the reason I am who I am. I think about him and I miss him every single day.