Hospitals are a place of many emotions. Good things happen such as a new baby is born, someone is told that they’re cancer free, or someone gets their cast off after a few months. Other things happen that aren't so good, like someone is diagnosed with a deadly disease, and told they have three months to live, or someone flat lines in surgery, and can't be revived.

“Life’s under no obligation to give us what we expect. We take what we get and are thankful it’s no worse than it is.” -Margaret Mitchell. I never thought anything bad could ever happen to my family until last February. The week was a blur with getting the wedding ready for my grandma and her new fiance, George. I had just woken up from spending the night at my friend’s house when I answered a phone call from my mom frantically saying, “They think grandma has had a heart attack.” It took me awhile to understand what I had just heard, but I instantly shot up from bed. After about a five minute phone call with my mom, I understood that my grandma had gone into the hospital with flu like symptoms, and they thought she was having a heart attack. They were transferring her to the Bemidji hospital to get a closer look at what was going on.

I still remember the 45 minute drive to the hospital being the longest ride of my life. My grandma was one of my best friends, and I didn’t want anything bad to happen to her. It couldn’t. She was supposed to watch my graduation, be at my wedding, and be able to be my children’s great grandma. With everything that was happening, I was worried she wouldn’t be able to do any of those things.

When I walked into the hospital room, everything was white on white; white linens, white walls, and white tile. It smelled of medication, cleaning supplies, and sickness like all hospitals do. There were different colored cords connected to monitors surrounding my grandma. Different noises bursting all around the room, but the one I remember most clearly was the sound of her heart’s rhythm. It was a constant, steady beep. It made me feel like I was being trapped in that hospital room, like I couldn’t breathe, almost like the walls were closing in.
My now fragile looking grandma was being her normal self, cracking jokes, and acting as if nothing was wrong. I could see the fear in her eyes, but of course she was putting on a brave face for all of us. Most of my family was at the hospital because the wedding was supposed to be that same weekend, so it was actually perfect timing.
She got scheduled for an angiogram later in the day, and about ten of us waited patiently in a cramped waiting room, the size of a one stall bathroom. While we were waiting, we were joking around and laughing because we just knew my grandma would be okay.

As soon as I saw the blob of blue coming my way, I got a pit in my stomach, and tasted bile in my throat--I knew something was wrong. The doctor said, “I have good news, and I have bad news. She did have a heart attack, but there’s no damage to the heart muscle. She will need open heart surgery to repair her valves, and sadly, there won’t be a wedding this weekend. She will have to be transferred to Fargo for the surgery in the morning.”
I instantly could feel my eyes well up with tears, and my heart sank.

I saw the faces of my family turn from happy and optimistic, to sad and confused. I looked over to my aunt, who rarely cries, and I saw tears streaming down her face. My aunt then said, “Well now what?” We all couldn’t believe what was happening. Just minutes ago we were laughing, and having a good time, and now it seemed as if our world was tumbling down.

We knew that George and my grandma would have to get married that night because of their Minnesota marriage license, and we knew they wouldn’t want to wait. My aunt, my mom, my cousin, my sister, and I ran to Target to buy a curling iron, some flowers, and a few other things to try and make this hospital wedding the best we could for them. During the little ceremony in the tiny hospital room, I could just feel the love they had for each other. I’ve never seen a more beautiful wedding in my life, and even though it wasn’t the ideal wedding; it was perfect.
The day before her surgery, I went to see her in the Fargo hospital. We got to hang out for the day, and spend time with her. When it was time to go, I gave my grandma a huge hug, told her how much I loved her, and said that I would watch “Gone With the Wind” with her when she was recovering. I’ll never forget the look my grandma and I exchanged when I left. Even though I was now the one putting on a brave face, I was so scared that I wouldn’t be able to talk to her again, and I know she was scared too. The day of my grandma’s open heart surgery, I couldn’t be there because I was afraid. Scarlett O’Hara a character from “Gone With the Wind” said, “I can’t think about that right now. If I do, I’ll go crazy. I’ll think about that tomorrow.”  That is exactly how I felt, I didn’t want to think about what could happen that day, I would think about it later. I didn’t want to wait in the hospital, because it made everything, including my anxiety, so much worse.

As soon as she was out of surgery, my mom called me and said, “Everything went great, she’s out of surgery, and she is sleeping now.” A huge weight was lifted off my shoulders, and I could breathe again. During my grandma’s recovery, we watched “Gone With the Wind”, and the whole time I felt so lucky that I got to do so.

Although my grandma survived her heart attack, I will eventually have to deal with her death. The whole situation has changed me, and it’s taught me to appreciate those in my life, for life can be gone with the wind, or in a blink of an eye. Death is something we all need to accept. I still thank God for fixing my grandma’s heart, and possibly giving her the ability to watch my graduation, be at my wedding, and be the perfect great grandma to my children someday.