It was early in the morning, dew shimmering on the grass like glitter. The air was cool, the day foggy like a rainforest. We were going to a wedding, but we weren’t the guests. We went to work in the back and prepare for the wedding reception. I step into the car, all dressed up in my new dress shoes, my new dress pants, and my plaid dress shirt. I’m sitting in the car, remembering the time I was in the exact same seat, going to my uncle Buddys wedding, wearing a Tux, with my new fancy pocket square, and my new bow tie. I was an usher at his wedding, and I was so happy that I was a part of the wedding, though it was small, it still meant a lot to me.

As my father and I walk into the reception hall, we realise just how small the place was. Then it hit me that we rented out a community center, and I shouldn’t have expected much. My uncle Buddy was already there when we went in, and he told us that three workers bailed out last minute and we needed more help than just us three. My father calls my uncle Ryan to see if he can come help as my uncle and I start cooking. We were short on time and short three workers, so we were cooking 4 different foods at once. We had to make Mac and Cheese, Sausages, Pasta, and Meatballs. I learned after the wedding that everything comes with a price, because the sausages and mac and cheese both burnt in the oven, and we had to make another batch of each, costing us more precious time that we didn’t have in the first place.. During all of this, my Nana started freaking out, yelling things like
“We ruined her wedding! Oh my god it’s all our faults!!”

She was yelling as loud as a lion roars. My Nana was freaking out, but the food was fine and the family finally arrived, freakishly fast. Not only was she freaking out, but we also found out that the cake was going to be late. So, were working at double time and already had to make 2 more dishes than we were supposed to. We weren’t happy to have to work so hard because of the laziness of others.

To describe the kitchens in one word, “Hell.” It was a constant 80 degrees in there, we were burning food, and we were short three workers. I felt like the amount of work I did in the kitchen could have been used to train an army of a small country. As much as I loved working there, there wasn’t a moment that I can think of that I wasn't boiling hot and wearing my undershirt and not the dress shirt. I felt like a stove top. A red hot Coil, ready to boil, though I only felt soiled and worn. I would take a break every now and then to go outside in the breeze with an ice water to cool off, but it never stayed cool enough for comfort outside. We had every door open and it was still so hot, that everyone brought out fans and started blowing the hot air out the doors. We eventually got used to the heat as we were pulling things out of and putting things into the oven. Though I realised that when I was a kid, I liked the heat, but now as a teeneger, I absolutely hate it. I loved winter, and hated summer. But I lived through the heat of the ovens long enough for the wedding to be a great success.

Finally, we got all the food done, and keeping warm in crock pots. I thought I was getting a break, but quickly realised that, cooking was the easy part. I was running a soft serve bar, and I had to make all the drinks. So in order to prep for that, I got all kind of different pops and cups. But I was cut off preparing for the bar when I found out that the cake was damaged. The frosting on the side of the cake was messed up, and the baker took out the little bride and groom, but pushed them down, so the top of the cake was caving in. The caker baker and I had to spend a good 15 minutes fixing the cake, and just as we finished, literally the second we were done, Angie walks in. That was my queue to go back in the kitchen and start running the bar and making more helpings of food.

When I was running the bar, I made a new drink, that I didn’t realise was such a good idea until I got home that night, and tried some for myself. I called it “Rock n’ Root Beer.” It was two parts Rock n’ Rye, and one part Root Beer. I made it for my sister, who at the time loved both drinks, and she kept coming back for more when she finished it. I absolutely loved running the bar. I enjoyed every second of it, not only because I enjoy pouring drinks, but because it gave my Father, and my two uncles a break, that they very much deserved. My uncle Buddy was the one who worked the hardest in the building. My father and I had to leave twice to get power strips to run the crock pots, and to get more mac and cheese and sausages. My uncle Buddy and I were cooking, running the bar, doing dishes, and unloading and loading cars. I wasn’t nervous, but there were butterflies having the time of their lives in my stomach when I realised that there is no room for error.

Nearing the end of the wedding, we had so much leftover food, salad, pop, desert, and place settings, that we could have feed a small army. So, we started offering them to people who attended the ceremony, and the reception first, then those who only went to the reception. In doing that, I had to load up the cars, and unload cars, and pack up the kitchen, and stay after for teardown and all that jazz. During teardown, this man named Sean told me.

“You were a HUGE help today. Most weddings aren’t this chaotic, and have this many things go wrong, but somehow, you managed to hold it together, so thank you for all the help”

When he said that, I was snapped into a moment in my childhood. When I was a little kid, I always watched other people do all the work, like cooking for any holiday dinner, or setting up for a party , or even just watching my dad cutting the grass, I always wanted to help. I always wanted to cook, or help get the house ready, or cut the grass with my dad. But when Sean said that, It brought me to the reality that I have been doing it for years, and haven’t even realised it. I am the exclusive mashed potato cook for thanksgiving, and I didn’t even realise that that’s what I wanted all along.

I realised just how much I actually did after I looked back on what I actually did, and I started acting and feeling much more like an adult. My uncle Buddy came over and told me

“Before this wedding, you were just my nephew, but because of today, I saw you as one of the guys, an adult who can help when help is needed, and who puts others priorities and needs before your own.”

He said this, and instantly, I realised just how much of an impact this wedding made on my life, and how because of it, I gained the ability to focus on what needs to be done, rather than what I want to do.

I got in my car after we tore down the hall and cleaned the kitchens, and just let what Sean and my uncle Buddy said sink in. I let it absorb into my ideals, and ethics of who I am as a person. I then thought to myself  “I never want to be a guest at a wedding again, I want to run it.” We pulled into my driveway, and I stepped out of the car. I walk inside, and see $20 sitting on my bed. I was the last one in because I had to unload the car, so it was possible that someone else in the house could have left it there my accident. So I asked my dad about it and he told me it was from Buddy. So for two straight months, I held onto that twenty, and I gave it back to my uncle and told him.

“I don’t need money for the wedding, the way you see me now is payment enough”

When I said that, I didn’t even think about it. It just came out. In retrospect, I could have used that money for something useful, or fun, or something of interest. So from that day forward, I lived on the idea, that it’s not who you are that makes you you, it’s what you do that makes you you, and people see what you do as you, not on what you like or your age. It’s what opportunities you’re given, and what you do with them that makes you you.