Broken Heart | Teen Ink

Broken Heart

November 11, 2015
By Anonymous

BTo receive a note from my future self would be a nice surprise considering I do not know how the next ten years of my life will play out. However, I am aware that this note may not come.


The story began when my mother gave birth to a moderately healthy baby. I was healthy, for about 6 weeks. After about 6 weeks into my infantile life, problems that affected my health started to arise. My breath was very unnatural, I would take very long breaths and only long breaths. I did not breath like a normal baby and the doctors became very worried about what was wrong with me. These breaths were a natural survival instinct to help regulate the internal problems within me that were not yet discovered. The breaths slowed my heart beat which led to my heart to not work  as hard as it should. My parents had a single child before I was born, he is two years older than I am, He was a perfectly healthy baby. He had a minor allergy problems, but this was nothing serious. With me, the problems that occurred took a very serious turn for the worse. I have to pay attention to my health and let my parents know because they do not have any other children with problems. If I let these problems pass by unnoticed it could lead to an emergency room stop and a close call. My parents had never dealt with a problem like this, and the internal problems I had were much bigger and more serious than the doctors had anticipated. My parents had scheduled me an appointment with a heart specialist, as this seemed to be the problem. I was put on medication to regulate my breathing. This particular medicine also caused me to have some unusual side effects, for almost 6 months as I was on this medicine I had frequent night terrors.  The medicine caused me to wake up and in the middle of the night and start screaming and frantically crying until I was woken up.


My parents became very worried and called multiple specialists asking questions trying to figure out what was wrong with me.


The medicine caused me to wake up and in the middle of the night and start screaming and frantically crying until I was woken up. I was taken to the hospital once these started to happen regularly. The medicine also increased my heartbeat to a point at which I would sweat at random moments. The doctors had figured that these could be being caused by the medication they had recently perscribed me. They had taken me off the medication for a short time and during this time the screaming in the middle of the night had stopped, so they figured it was probably best that I was taken off that medication. This medication was the reason that most of my very serious symptoms went unchecked, because I was not going into the hospital as often as I was before. They were not able to check up on my health as often as they used to so now I was facing very dangerous circumstances. After a while of more breathing problems, they had realized that one of the valves in my heart was closing more and more over time. I was required to have surgery on my heart and this was a very serious operation. I was in the hospital for 6 weeks after the surgery being monitored by the nurses. Most of my extended family had come by to see what was going on and I seemed to be performing normal body functions fine. The new heart valve the surgeons had placed into my body came from a fatal car accident. The valve also took a few days to be accepted into my body so I was under close observation in the hospital. The valve had came from a male that was much older than I was, so I was expected to grow into it. The lasting effects that this had had on me are very impactful and have caused me to make decisions based on what I can do not what I wanted to do.


When, I went to my annual heart visit at the end of 7th grade and the specialist told me;


“You can no longer play football, it’s just too dangerous.”


This affected me because it was not just any a problem, it was limiting me. The reason was that as kids got bigger they also hit harder. These harder hits could knock my valve out of place and end up causing vast internal bleeding which in turn could end my life. The other resentful news was that I could possibly outgrow my current valve and I may be forced to have another major surgery to replace this. I have lasting problems that stay with me to this day, I am more vulnerable to death caused by disease due to me having a foreign” part in my body that is also in a vital organ. I live my life carefully having to avoid situations that could cause harm. On the other hand I try to live my life In a positive manner, I spend much of my free time with family or friends because honestly, I don't know how much time I have left with them. I have changed the ways I act whenever I truly think about my situation. I choose to take off work to go up north with my family, or I choose to free up my schedule so I can do fun things with friends. I do this because spending time with my family and friends might be the last time I spend with my family and friends.



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