Just to think, it was only months ago. I still remember when I first stepped foot into the house. I felt like an outsider. Last summer, I was a nanny for two amazing children, a thirteen-year-old in charge of two kids under the age of three. 789 miles away from home I had nobody close to talk to, until I really started the job.

The second day I was there, the family and I traveled on a little voyage out into the Atlantic Ocean on their boat, a Triumph center console fishing boat. With the breeze in my hair, and the smell of salty water and sunscreen. I bounced when the ocean waves crashed against the side of the boat. We were all enjoying each others company. I felt like I was a Moran. Initially, I didn’t feel really close to my cousins, the Morans. They were family, except I probably saw them only twice a year, at most. My mom said Renee, the mother of the children, and I would become super close. Every night when the kids went to bed, Renee and I did the dishes together;  and if there was laundry, we would do the laundry together while watching "Suits". She was just like an older sister to me. We would go on adventures together like sneaking around abandoned houses to try to find bear proof recycling bins because a bear attacked our bin and destroyed it. My mom was right, Renee and I did get to be super close. I really grew to love her.

Renee had to work as a dentist at the local army base, and her husband, Colin, had to go away for awhile to train for the army. So during most of the day, it would  be the kids, Andrew and Dean, and I. I was like another parent to them. We played outside in their pool, read A LOT of books, took walks and played at the park that was across the street. We also made crafts, FaceTimed my sister, played pretend, and so much more.
 
   

My family back at home missed me a lot. FaceTiming everyday was enough for me, but not for them. I could tell they wanted to be with me, and they yearned for me to come home. One night, over FaceTime, we played the Game of Life. It lasted about an hour and a half before I fell asleep. My parents screen-shotted a picture of me while I was asleep, which I would have expected them to do.

Renee, the boys, and I made a countdown of the days until Colin came home. They couldn't wait until Colin arrived, and neither could I, but I was sad at the same time. I knew something that the boys didn't know. Three days after Colin arrived at home, it would be my turn to leave.

   

Time passed and eventually Colin arrived home. I remember saying to myself, This is going to be the last breakfast I have with them, or This will be the last time I will sleep in this bed. The day before I had to go home, I told Andrew and Dean that I was going to go home. They helped me pack, and they loved playing with all my stuff while they assisted. They favored this special flashlight I had. If you hit a button, the flashlight would turn on; and if you hit it again, the handle would turn blue. If you hit it a third time, the handle would blink. It even had a whistle too. They absolutely were enthralled by it.

By the time we were done packing, I think the boys really understood that I was going to leave. I remember the last time I put Dean, the youngest, down for a nap. He said, "I"; then I said "I". Then he said "love"; then I said "love." Then he said "you"; then I said "you.”  We did that a couple of times, and then I shut the door. I could still hear him saying it. It made my heart feel 10 times bigger.

As I put Andrew down for a nap one day, I could not help remembering another time when he couldn’t fall asleep. So he helped me decorate cupcakes that I had made earlier that day. He did an amazing job decorating them, but I did not do an amazing job baking them. He said the cupcakes tasted good, but I was mortified by their taste. It had been my first time making cupcakes, and I overbeat them, so they tasted great hot out of the oven; but once they set, they were too dense and the texture was strange. But that did not matter to Andrew who loved them anyway.

The morning I was going to leave, Renee had to work, but I was awake so we could say our goodbyes. When Colin and the boys were driving me to the airport, it reminded me of when he picked me up so I could begin being a nanny for them. I remember when he picked me up that first time, I didn't know what to feel or think. I wasn't homesick, and I wasn't nervous. That's what I expected to feel, but I didn’t. Then driving to the airport I felt the same way, but also almost a little confused. I felt like I wasn't ready to come home. I felt like I was leaving my real home and going to a strange place that I've never been. But I knew where I was going and from where I was leaving. I knew the place where I needed to be, but I also knew the place that I wanted to be. It was a need and a want. I needed to go home, but I wanted to stay with the Morans.

It was my time to go. Instead of an outsider or a parent, I felt like Mary Poppins. The children needed me, but since they no longer did because of their dad’s return, it was my time to leave. I am sure they wanted me to stay, and in fact I really wanted to stay, too. But another family needed me -- more like wanted me -- my family.

On the plane, as is so often the case for me, I spilled my drink all over myself. So when we landed, I had to go to the bathroom and change. Once I finally found the gate, I saw my family who ran to hug me. As a surprise to me, we went to a Cardinals baseball game in celebration of my return, and then we all resumed our loving and happy routines.

Renee and Colin had their little baby, Keith Martin on November 19th, which happens to be the day before my birthday!  What a wonderful early birthday present at that, too. Like Mary Poppins, I found a loving family who will always be in my heart and who I will never forget.