The main if not the only thing I have be able to make in this life I have been given is regrets. Neither a lot more than I would likes to admit to, but I’m like most people in the world today I am not, nor will I ever be perfect.

My major regret in my life as it is now, which a lot people wouldn't exactly call it much but, I think my biggest regret is letting one of the best things to happen in my life go. Her name is Karlie. Ah that name, she was my best friend in 6th grade we meet at a church bible group my mom had me go too because she wanted me to stay out of trouble. She was a new kid to the church, her mom Laurie and my mom had become the best of friends in less than a week. And like my mom she and I had become the best of friends in that time period too. She was basically my dream girl for a friend at the time. She had basically the same interests as, me she was a huge metal fan, always wore converse like I did at the time, and had highlights in her hair like mine did. She was amazing we hit it off like nothing soon we were chilling back in my room listening to Alice in chains, Nirvana, and Pearl Jam her favorite band. We would sit out by the tree in my backyard and chill to music, make jokes about each other and just be the best of friends.

I remember one time, we were sitting on my mom’s truck watching the cars go by and watching her little girl Layla, oh Layla I love that girl with a passion she was six at the time, short, blonde hair and to her I was her boyfriend which I was happy about I would have killed to have a little girl like her all peppy with envy. She was Karlie and my self perfect dream of a daughter. We would always joke about how we would adopt her and take her as our child. I miss her so much, now back to the story.

We were watching her and the cars go by and she was lying out in the middle of Main Street and being nine at night no cars would come by so I would stand there and watch down on her and I asked her what she was doing. “Stars” she said as she pointed up and I looked at Karlie and smiled with the biggest grin ever, I sat down with her in my lap and would look up at the stars and just smile and be happy to be with her. Karlie eventually took her away from me to keep her to herself, which was another little joke she and I played on each other. We would walk back to the truck and I popped open the trunk to have a place to sit, Karlie slid in first with Layla on her lap and I was left standing there looking at the two girls who I would love forever still do to this day.

Many happy days with these girls, I don't remember a day in my life I wasn't happy when they were around to keep me around in their lives. They are and always will be my family, although we haven't spoken in about two years. I have had many regrets, but to top off the list that is the one group of people that will always be my regret. I loved them with every ounce in my heart and soul and I know they felt the same. I don’t know if I ever about anymore, but if I ever end up seeing them again which I do hope happens again I will hope. I’ll end up running to them to see how much they have changed since the last time I have seen them. I can still see the blonde multi colored hair Karlie had with such a presence of an angel, it was almost impossible to not say oh my god whenever she walked through the door. Her and those Tokio Hotel shirts she always wore, I loved that about her always so different from every other girl that was in my life, that’s also why she was so perfect she never let anyone tell her what to do she was a rebel and I was the bad boy it was a perfect combination.

She always had a way to bring me up from all the moments that brought me the worst of grief. She had my heart in the palm of her hand and with no change to it now she always will have this lonely boys heart. Even with all the unnatural things that have happened to us over the last year or so I may not know if she feels the same anymore but i will always have the heart of that sweet girl that took my life and made it a better place for me and for her. To sum up the perfect regret I have in my life, Karlie Rose, the dream girl of this lonely man, the angel, savior and the reason why I am what I am today she changed me in so many ways and I always wanted to tell her thank you for making me the person I am today. I may not be the one persons wish to be the dream guy of every girl in America but I am the one person who is here every day to listen to people’s problems whether they be good or bad. She is and always will be the reason for the existence of Nizzy and all the perks there are of being the man I am today and I hope that one day she sees how much of an impact she left on the hollow shell everyone sees today. Here's to you Karlie and I hope you see the way of the fist someday and see how much people actually make a difference in everyone’s lives.