April 5th 2009, my mother and I had just got home from an exhausting day. Of course, it was just any regular Sunday, we had been to church, out to eat with family, and on top of that an hour drive back home. I was tired, and anxious to see my daddy again. You see, well, the church thing, was just my mom and I every Sunday. My dad was busy working, and didn’t go to church with us, for personal reasons. But now we were home. Suddenly, my mother complained of a headache, and feeling “funny”. Therefore my father and I kissed her, and she headed off to bed. “You think mom’s okay, dad?” I remember asking, “She’s probably just tired.” My dad reassured me. My father and I continued our Sunday routine, and went down to the basement to play video games. 30 minutes later, we came back up to check on my mother, my dad to refill his coffee, and I headed to the bathroom…

I remember the 911 call, all the rush, words spilling out of my mouth, as tears spilled out onto my checks. I remember yelling my address, and trying to explain the situation into the phone. My brain was jobbled, confused, and downright shut down. Two minutes later, I heard the sirens in the distance. Finally, they stopped and two doors slammed. Rushing up to my house, were two paramedic, with a stretcher, and two others behind them. They came into my house with force, and rush. I remember the first two paramedics carrying my mother away. I also remember my father by my side, hugging me. While another paramedic tried to block the sight from my path. My father and I jumped into the car, throwing our seatbelts over our shoulders, ready to follow the ambulance. We arrived, at the Streator Hospital. There, the secretary chauffeured us a room. Suddenly, we were in an off-white room, beige chairs, and a plain white hospital bed. The room gave me the chills, I hated hospitals, and that room definitely didn’t help. Then suddenly, two women came in the room. One Hispanic with long, dark hair, she wore pink shirt sleeve shrubs, with white tennis shoes. The other girl in purple shrubs, with white thermal sleeves rolled up to her elbow, she had long blonde hair in a ponytail, and she stood with her hands behind her back. They both looked as if they were in their twenties maybe, almost the same height. The Hispanic woman nodded, with a sad expression on her face. Then instantly, my dad clung to me silently balling. I had no expression…..

Somewhere in the world, a leaf had fallen, slowly making its way to the ground landing with a silent thump, which no one can hear. The tree it fell from, slowly dying every day. But, the tree was soon to come back again brings life with it, as the seasons pass. A very special part of the tree, the leaves perhaps, has a cruel life; it dies, and does not return. The leave fell to the ground never to make its way back up. Only to be crushed by children, laughing and play in the leaves. Then, new leaves sprout back again, as spring comes, only to begin the circle of life as a repeat.

If you can understand this analogy, you know why I used it. At that moment, in the hospital, I was in the part of death, the winter, I shall say. The leaf is me and the tree is my life. When I found out, I just sat there, sat there, and stared blankly, not comprehending what’s around me, shut down. I could see my dad’s lips moving, but hear no sound, my voice was gone, my limbs refused to move. When, I awoke from my stillness, some of my family members were there. My brother, and two cousins, aunt and uncles. My brother took a seat, head in his hands, his hood of his sweatshirt up, covering his face, tears dripped off his nose. I remember asking for my sister, begging, wishing, hoping she was there; meanwhile I sit there shut down again. Maybe one hour later, my wish came true. When my sister, walked through the door, I could suddenly move again. I almost ran to hug her, her embrace, comforting, and warm. Then, I took a seat on the hospital bed, while my cousins’ turn on the TV. Confused, lost in my thoughts and tears in my eyes, I asked, “What happeneds now?” my dad replied “Sweetie, I think it would be best if you went home with Aunt Judy tonight okay? Is there anything you need from home? Sissy and I are going home to take care of some things.” I asked for my stuffed animal, and my mother’s nightgown. That night, I went home with my aunt later, my sister came with what I asked for. When it was time for bed, I just lay there, thinking of the rush, the haunting images, I try to block from my mind. At the funeral, I sat, forcing myself not to cry, she looked nothing like my mother. I had to stay strong for my dad, I forced myself to think, of nothing but how my dad would feel…

For the next few months, I stayed at my Aunts house frequently. One summer day, my sister and cousin Mandy, came to pick me up. After, waving goodbye to my relatives, my sister explained our dad had a friend over. After, I was strapped in and settled, my sister continued to tell me dad went to high school with this friend. Assuming it was a boy, I asked “So, what’s his name?” “Actually, it’s a she, and her name is Dorothy” my sister explained. A few minutes later we pulled in our horse shoe shaped drive way, the trees hitting the roof of the car. In the drive way, I saw a silver, greenish Ford Tourise. That’s when I began to get nervous, butterflies flittering around in my stomach. I followed my sister and cousin up the stairs to our front door. Inside, we rounded the corner, to the living room. On the couch sat Dorothy, there she was… She was beautiful, her posture perfectly straight, her hair black with a hint of brown. Her face, faintly lined with wrinkles, she looked young, maybe 42. She was wearing a Curves, pink shirt, with black shorts and white tennis shoes. She had on just the right amount, of make-up. Then with a friendly smile, she extended her tan hand, and she had red nails, pretty as well. With a soft as velvet voice, she said “Hi, my names Dorothy, you must be Lily.” With that my heart melted. I took her hand; it was soft, warm, and comforting. I knew in my heart I would know this woman, for the rest of my life, and that was comforting. I wanted to know more about her, I wanted her to guide me, I wanted this very woman, right next to me to be mine. That’s when I began to cry, silent but dramatic tears, streaming down my cheeks. I remember saying hi then walking out the back door, and sitting on the steps. I was humiliated on how I acted, foolish.

My dad and sister followed me out the door. My dad explained to me, that Dorothy was sad and crying; because she thought I didn’t like her. I wasn’t crying in her presence, I was crying for several reasons. Some reasons, I choose not to mention. But I had to tell Dorothy, it wasn’t because of her, it was because of my happiness, on the other hand sadness. I remember my dad bringing Dorothy outside. I told her I was sorry, it wasn’t because of her. I was afraid, my dad and I would be alone. I was afraid of death, and I didn’t want to repeat the pattern. I hugged, Dorothy then, I stepped back only to see my dad and Dorothy kiss. I was surprised, comforted, and most of all relieved, that’s when I knew, I got my wish. Dorothy was staying for a long, long, time.

It was close, to my dad’s birthday, when Dorothy and my dad, invited everyone over for special news, I was curious. I walked through the door hugged my dad and Dorothy. The house was full of family, my brothers, and sister Jen. I said hello to everyone then, took a seat. There was a knock at the door, when a tall tan man, in a no sleeve shirt walked in. Behind him was a woman, tan and cute, behind her three boys. The first boy shouted, “Hi Grandma!” Suddenly, I couldn’t believe my eyes; Dorothy got up and hugged all of them, then stepped over to me, and introduced them. “This is Frank my son (tall man), Jessica his wife, (woman), and this is Frankie, Chris, and Brady.” “Hi,” I said, and they all replied “Hi”. Frank, and Jessica took a seat on the love seat, while, I was on the couch, next to my sister Jen, and Justin, her husband. Dorothy sat on the chair next to dad, hand in hand. Dorothy yelled “Attention, we have a special announcement” Everyone looked, to my dad and Dorothy, with smiles on both of their faces, they announced “We’re engaged!” They smiles spread around the room, on everyone’s face. I was excited, my new mom, my new mom, I thought. I was no longer alone.

When, I started calling Dorothy mom, it was an accident. But it kind of stuck, so I continued. By now, I considered my new mom as my actual family. 2 years later, on their anniversary, they got married. I dressed my best, and made sure, my new mom was ready and set. She was all dolled up and beautiful as ever. My dad, was in a tux without the over jacket. They invited my grandmother and my new uncle Allen, and we all drove to the courthouse. In the courthouse room, my dad and mom stood in front of the judge, and said their vows. Soon, the judge pronounced them man and wife. Ever since then, I have been proud, and eager to continue our future. I’m happy to have created a new family. That’s my story of how I lost and gained.