I lean towards James*, what do I do? I’m panicking; James is leaning too. Do I close my eyes? What do I do with my lips? If I kiss him will he be able to tell that he’s my first kiss? We are getting closer now, my palms are sweaty and warm, and my heart is beating out of my chest. Slowly, slowly I tilt my head to the left (like in the movies). Closer and closer James’s face comes and closer and closer his lips are to my virgin lips.
It all goes slow but it feels like a missile rushing towards my lips. I see James run his tongue over his lips making them moist. “*Ellie you can do this.” I tell myself. Suddenly the feeling in my lips was overcome with warmth from his lips. I close my eyes.


It’s a Saturday, I’m in seventh grade and school had just started. Driving home from having dinner, my phone starts buzzing, the screen lights up and in big bold letters it reads “Ben*” I pick up
“Hello?” I say. Ben’s voice comes through the earpiece of my phone loud and asks me if *Hazel and I could go over to James’s to play manhunt. I’m surprised because he never calls nor texts or talks to me.

“Hold on” I tell him, and then I ask my parents if we could go since James’s house was close ours. They said “yes”. My heart smiled because at the time I had the slightest ity bitty crush on Ben and was going to hang out with him for a little bit.

“Hey, you still there?” I asked trying not to sound too excited.

“Yeah.” he replied plainly.

“My parents said yes, so we’ll be there in a couple minutes.”
“Cool.” he said nonchalantly and hung up.

When we got to James’s house we discovered that Josh* (whom I’m not a big fan of) was also at James’s house. The boys were shooting hoops Hazel and I were standing by watching awkwardly. James noticed that I was shivering.

“Hey, would you like me to run in and grab one of my sweatshirts?” he offered flatly.

I spoke quietly but with some urgency to be warm “Yes please!” I said. So he stepped out of the cold and gets me one of his old sports sweatshirts.

“Do you guys want to start playing manhunt?” Ben asked.

“I do!” we all expressed simultaneously.
James offered me the sweatshirt and I instantly took the sweatshirt into my custody and put it on. The sweatshirt smelled like his house and I remember that smell of clean, fine home furnishings, air freshener, and this one sent that I can never get a finger on. I could pick that sent out from anywhere. When I was younger I used to go to James’s house everyday and the sent would greet me and surround me with the feeling of warmth. So instantly I felt comforted by his sweatshirt. James gave me a hug.

“Thanks” I said my breath showing in the cold weather. I was astonished that he would hug me. I thought that he was being nicer than usual. Usually he just doesn’t talk to me or there would be a “hi” here and there. And I’ve always thought that he was a jerk. I mean he wasn’t a jerk his whole life. We’ve been friends, well known each other for what seems like forever, and he used to be nice. We basically grew up with each other. We had sleepovers, stayed for dinner at each other’s houses, and had play dates. But over the years we three grew apart and eventually stopped hanging out with each other. Hanging out with him on that day was a big surprise for me. And having a little moment with him reminded me of when we were little.

I remember going to his house for a sleep over. We slept in the living room, which is connected to the kitchen; it made his house look even bigger. In the center of the room there was a big couch and two arm chairs on either side. James’s sister was having a sleep over with one of her friends (who is also a boy) so we all slept in the living room. She slept on one of the armchairs, Hazel and I slept on the big couch, and the two boys set up a little mattress area at the foot of the couch. I brought three of my favorite stuffed animals: a beanie baby dog, a stuffed cat, and another stuffed dog. James’s dog at the time stole my beanie baby dog and I started to cry. I was terrified that he would chew it up and tear it to shreds. I eventually get it back and was not happy that it had slobber all over it.

“Let’s start, the front door will be base and you can’t be from there to there.” explained Ben pointing to one side of the front house to the other side. “You also can’t stand right in front of base.”

“For the record I have no idea how to play manhunt.” I said confused.

“Just go with it.” Josh mumbled. So I did and I was the first one out.

“This is kind of boring.” Hazel said honestly sounding board as she said it.

“Then what do you want to do?” James asked

“I donno’. “ Hazel said shrugging her shoulders.
“What about spin the bottle or truth or dare?” James suggested. Doubtful groans escaped from a couple mouths including mine.
“OK.” Ben hesitated. James dashed to his garage to grab a bottle from the recycling bin there. When he came back he sat down and motioned to us to sit down with him. We made a circle so we could see each other.
“I’ll spin first.” James shouted happily. His hand spun the bottle effortlessly like it was common knowledge. And so the bottle spun and spun as I watched and watched, I hope this doesn’t land on me, and even if it did land on me I know I’m one of those people who always chooses “truth” never “dare”. But if it landed on me and a question was asked and it revealed things that I didn’t want to share, I would always try to find a way around the question. But wouldn’t anyone try find a way around and an embarrassing question?
“HAHA!” Josh roared. The bottle had stopped at Ben.
“Ohhh…” Ben whined.
“I dare you run around the front yard” (which is very large, three quarters a soccer field) James said with delight. Another whine escaped from Ben’s mouth.
“We don’t get to choose truth or dare?” Ben groaned
“No.” James’s voice was steady, “’cause if it was truth or dare then Ellie, Hazel, and you would all pick truth Ben got up slowly and started to jog the perimeter of the yard. He came back 5 minutes later and I heard his breath.
“My turn” he said breathlessly. Ben slumped down on to the cold driveway. He took the bottle in hand and spun the plastic weakly, but enough so it would rotate. The bottle waddled to a stop cap pointing to Hazel.
“I dare you,” he lifted his arm and pointed to Hazel,“ to run one lap around the yard.” He dropped his hand into his lap.
“Ughh.” Hazel said under her breath. She got up. Turned around and her feet sped up. Her hair was blowing behind her but as she got further away she just became a shadow in the night. The shadow slowed down and went into a more walking pace than a running pace. 8 minutes later she collapsed on the driveway.
“OK, this is what I think, running around the lawn is an annoying dare and it makes everything boring.” Hazel breathed.
“Yeah, it kind of is.” I added.
“ OK, let’s start over again.” James declared. He took the bottle once again into his hands and spun. This time it landed on Josh.
“Truth or dare?” James asked.
“Dare.” Josh said with a smile.
“I dare you,” he paused to think “To kiss Hazel on the cheek” there was an evil look on James face.
“Really?” Hazel and Josh exclaimed at the same time.
“Yes.” This time you could hear the smile in his voice even though there wasn’t even a grin on that face. Josh leaned over to Hazel and gave her a peck on the cheek and quickly moved away from her like they were both negative magnets.
“Now. My turn” uttered Josh. His spin was sloppy and the bottle had it way of staggering its way to James. “Truth or dare?” Josh asked with the same evil expression James had.
“Dare.” James grinned.
“I dare you to kiss Ellie On the lips.” My eyes widened and James turned to me.
“Fine.” I said “But not too long.” I tried to sound confident. I lean towards James, what do I do? I’m panicking; James is leaning too. Do I close my eyes? What do I do with my lips? If I kiss him will he be able to tell that he’s my first kiss? We are getting closer now, my palms are sweaty and warm, and my heart is beating out of my chest. Slowly, slowly I tilt my head to the left (like in the movies). Closer and closer James’s face comes and closer and closer his lips are to my virgin lips.
It all goes slow but it feels like a missile rushing towards my lips. I see James run his tongue over his lips making them moist. “Ellie you can do this.” I tell myself. Suddenly the feeling in my lips was overcome with warmth from his lips. I close my eyes.
I could hear sinkers coming from Josh. I pull away in a flash and I move quickly away back to my original spot. I hide behind my hair I slightly graced up to see James looking right at me.
“Was that your first kiss?” he asked mockery in his eyes.
“Yeah.” I whispered my voice cracking. James laughs. Great. I’m being laughed at and made fun of because he’s my first kiss.
I have to say; I am ashamed of who became my first kiss and how I got it, but I’ll never forget it. Sometimes I just don’t count that kiss as my first and leave it at that.
When I kissed him I didn’t feel anything. The only feeling I felt was my heart hammering into my ribs because it was my first kiss. Now, kisses aren’t a big deal; but in elementary school they were BIG deals because no one had done it yet. In the beginning of middle school we are still getting use to other student dating each other. But not anymore, everyone seems to be doing it now. And kissing.
I feel that my first kiss was in significant, not important. Most first kisses from book and movies are the spark or beginning of something like love or a relationship but mine didn’t. I guess mine wasn’t that important because my was just a dare.