Laying in my bed I turned off the T.V and there I lay crying. Although it was just nearly noon my room was completely dark without the soft glow of the tv. I had taped up blankets over my windows for maximum effect. I had been in the worst emotional state in my life. I was wondering what's the point of trying to continue without ever really making a difference in the grand scheme of things. I had never felt so low. I was feeling completely grey and lost in life.

After a few minutes of quiet sobs there was a knock at the door. My first instinct was to ignore it cause my mother would just probably assume that I was still sleeping and try again later. After the raps at the door persisted for more than normal I begrudgingly got out out bed and angrily flung the door open towards me. I wasn't until I lowered my gaze about three feet that I saw my 3 year old little brothers face. He asked to come into my room and I said that not now and that I was busy and to come back later. When I tried to close the door after that, he started crying so loud I was afraid our neighbors could hear it. Me being in a bad mood though I didn't care and went back to lay down. Not too long after I heard a more forceful knock on the door this time and my mom yelling at me to open this door before she has to open it herself. I huffed and stomped towards the door and opened it to find my mom carrying my brother and wiping his tears from his now bright red face. She demanded I let him into my room for even only a little while. After a fight I wasn't expecting to win he was allowed to come into my room for one show only. When I told my brother that he could come in my room his face light up and he ran into my room at full speed and sat on the floor facing the T.V that my mom had turned on and switched to his favorite underwater kids show. After all of two seconds he decided that the floor was too cold for him. He climbed up on to the bed and under the covers and found himself right next to where I decided to sit, even laying on the same pillow. I watched him do that and sighed. Why did he have to be so annoying I thought to myself.

I asked him if I could change it from his favorite show and he said yes. So we then watched some home improvement shows with grown ups wandering around green grassy yards graced with flowers next to new two bedroom townhouses and after a while I looked over at him and saw that he was just watching the T.V with a blank face. Every once in a while he would call out a color on screen or a commercial he recognized but other than that he didn't know what he was really watching. His attitude made it seem like he was perfectly content to just be there with me. His had the slightest smile stuck on his face and his big round head was snuggled up into my side.  He was happy to just be spending time with one of his big sisters. that for some reason- he apparently has unconditional love for. When I realized this I started crying. I gave him the biggest hug. For the rest of that day and every day after that that I was home, we were best friends. Playing all day and being inseparable. My annoying little brother showed me the light when all I could see was darkness. He reminded me that although I might not mean a lot to the world I mean the world to the people that really mattered. Every morning we now lay in my bed and watch T.V with the blinds drawn.