Explaining social anxiety to someone who doesn’t have social anxiety is hard to do. Especially when you have social anxiety. You can pretty much self-diagnose it. Or, at least I can. I knew there was something wrong with me when I couldn’t do the stuff normal kids do. Like, I can’t just up and talk to random people, or ask someone how to get to a certain class, or ask a teacher for help on a math problem or for a different reading assignment because the one they gave out was too easy.  I’m not the kind of person that would join in conversations or join clubs or social events. I had to make sure I knew exactly when and how to say “here” during attendance. I never talk to my parents, or my sisters, or my very few friends if there was a problem or if I was going through something. Most of my friends found me and dragged me out of my little antisocial bubble on their own, without my consent. And most of them leave me soon after. Can’t bear the quiet for long, I guess. Not being able to make friends is a little lonely at times, but I prefer being lonely. It means no drama and no bullshit for me to deal with. I can focus on schoolwork and graduating. I’ve really wanted to do online school, but my folks want me to go to a regular high school so I can socialize and be a part of a community. That’s just not my cup of tea.

So, here I am. Hiding behind a computer screen, writing this at 1:13 in the morning because I’m going through Hell and have nobody to talk to. Can’t talk to my parents, and my one true friend is asleep. This is why I turn to this stupid keyboard, in hopes that my shitty writing will entertain someone other than myself. Maybe one day, I’ll explain why I started this in the first place. But for now, Welcome to the Social Club for the Folks With Social Anxiety! I hope you find comfort knowing that there’s someone else out there who’s dying inside just like you! All are welcome in my friendly environment and I hope to post more of my story once or twice a week. Enjoy my page! And enjoy my story!