It was, in all probability, about four in the morning. My dad and I were snake-hunting in the west Texas desert, half-awake and half-delirious. I was attempting to make small talk in hopes that I wouldn?t hear that fateful sound: ?HOOOOOOOOONK SHOOOOOOOOOO!? I asked a question that, most likely, if I had been totally awake, would have known the answer to already. ?Are there bears down here?? My dad, also obviously not thinking clearly, absently replied, ?I don?t know.? Well, that was it. My dad has like, the ultimate say-so on west Texas, and whatever he says concerning that region is always accurate. So if Dad said he didn?t know if there were bears, bears were banned in my mind.

Finally I remembered the book-on-video cassette we had bought earlier in the day. It was a story in a wonderful series called ?Hank the Cowdog,? written by John R. Erickson. I believe this particular story was all about Hank, the main character, and he was sick. We were in the midst of the narrator?s sickening sound effects portraying, well, Hank?s upchucking, and we were CRACKING UP. I am serious ? we would have been rolling on the floor if there had been a floor to roll on. Suddenly, we both spotted a giant, ambling, worn, black butt. Uh huh, you heard me right. I did a double take. It looked like a bear?s butt ? but no way, dad said he didn?t know if bears were in this area and that meant there WERE NO BEARS. Instantly a very strange thought passed through my head. We were in Texas, but if there were no bears, that big, moving black object ahead of us must be a GORILLA!

Now, just thinking back on the frantic thought-processes that were swirling around in my head before I realized that this animal was, indeed, a bear, is enough to make me laugh. It was hard to admit to my animal-enthusiast father that I thought the big black butt on the back road belonged to a gorilla, but imagine my surprise when my dad reluctantly admitted, ?I thought it was someone dressed up in a gorilla suit.?