I find myself in a place where I can breath, where I can picture myself
living a different scene. The waves crash and the precious treasures beneath my feet
comfort me; they tell me the good things.


However its not long till im snapped out of that sudden moment, another creature
bothers me in my sleep, something as simple as a lie takes me away from my happy place.
I'm locked away from the sands and seas, im back to teenage drama world.
I look at the scars and his wrist, and the signs of emotional pain, im sucked into
the horrible atmosphere i don't want to be apart of. I want my getaway back, I want to be away
from these dying people. The crying and yelling is so sharp, so bold, it breaks me down.
I want to help but I just dont know how to.


My attempt to help has only given me the desire to help myself.
I am now in the game of a different world. The board I stand on does not include crashing waves or
golden sand. I am in a new place. Surrounded by untrustworthy people, and new exciting things.
I am not only falling down the stairs after too many drinks, but also falling into a hole of trouble and anxiety.
The game I play requires a change; a complete transformation of my own identity.
Im slowly tearing myself away, with hatred words and actions, forcing myself to forget about the people
who really loved me. I am so confused, The boy who sells me happiness hurts me when I can do him
no good. I feel like its all so wrong but I keep going back for more. The happiness he gives me only lasts for a short
amount of time, and when I dont get that high I want, I fight for the death.
The words I spit out are written by my true rebellious side of me,
the person I once was has been overpowered. The others around me captured my soul, and pulled
me into a place I cannot escape.


I think back and wonder what happened to the place that once had my heart; the place free
of lies and hatred. What happened to my happy place?