Fear, to me, is a gut feeling that something isn’t right about a certain situation or specific thing. Fear, to me, is different for each and every person in the world. One person may be afraid of something non-living, living, non-dormant, or dormant being. Fear, to me, is something that is hard to overcome because no matter how hard I try, it always seems to come back. 

I believe overcoming my own fears is one very difficult thing for me. I believe I’m not scared of many different things. I believe it is healthy to know what I’m afraid of. That has to be the first step to fixing it, right?

One physical thing that frightens me is insects with more legs than necessary. 

Centipedes and arachnids scare me very much. Six-legged things are cute until you add the razor sharp fangs, multiple eyes, sticky skin, and all the other little added bonuses. I cringe at the thought of a bug landing on me. Moving on my skin like an ugly miniature track runner on a field. Getting over a fear of bugs is difficult though because it’s not like one day they can go away.

Mentally, how I understand me, is I’m more afraid of the thoughts that go on in my own head. I’m Petrified of things I can't control. Being out of control is a sleep paralysis nightmare that is never ending once the thought of “no control” gets in my mind. I’d personally compare it to saying goodbye to someone I hold dear to me, knowing I had no control whether they let go of my hand and leave or not. Fingers slipping away as the person moves farther and farther away from me. Eyes moving away from being locked on theirs and never seeing them again. Having no control is like losing someone without any influence on if they go or not. 

I can try to get help with these physical and mental fears, but is it worth even trying when the fears make me cringe and make my spine, skin, and body feel like nails on a chalkboard? I can try to say my story has a happy ending, but not all stories do. Sometimes the dark is where some people prefer to stay. I can try to cope with these self entanglements, but my fear of my fears will haunt me until I figure this out.