there is a girl i see in the mirror every day.

 she has short-medium brown hair she lets loose every day because it's more attractive, and a hint of eyeliner and mascara. she's one of the 'cool' girls, the girl everyone likes because she's pretty enough and funny enough. she's loud and confident. she's one of the BFFs, she is a social butterfly and can talk to anyone. she does ok at school and ok at life, and when a boy likes her, she's unfazed and pretends to be happy. she wears girly clothes and if she smiled a little bit less she'd get a boyfriend soon because even though she has softer edges, she has big brown eyes and a warm, comforting smile. that girl is everything a sixteen-year-old girl should be.

but on the inside is a sad, lonely, miserable, angry girl who wants to cry an ocean of tears. on the inside, she is tired, so tired, of pretending, of putting on a fake smile. on the inside, she is screaming, begging for some sort of release. inside, she is angry at the world, wanting to burn and obliterate everything and especially everyone in her path. she is hurt from all the times people have let her down. from opening herself to people who never deserved it. she is drained from the happiness she fakes day by day. she hates herself for not fitting in when she's with her family. she wonders when the day will come when she will have no more energy left to keep her heart beating. it hurts so much to pretend to fit in as a person she is not.