“Beauty standards are the individual qualifications women are expected to meet in order to embody the “feminine beauty ideal” and thus, succeed personally and professionally.” (Defino)

Beauty: Women and girls of all ages only dream about being referred to as beautiful when being talked about. My grandparents always told me I was going to be a real knock out when I got older, but that would only happen if I were to fit society's beauty standards. Seeing my nana and papa over the summer was always tradition. We’d make the two hour drive down to Sagamore Beach where I'd go to summer camp and spend time with my family. Sitting on the beach laying on a towel my nana would spot older girls around us and tell me how I’ll grow up to be just as beautiful as them.  I had never thought of comparing myself to other girls up until that moment when I was about 10 years old. That was when I realized that the body types that are advertised into the world were always super models that had long legs and were thin, but as someone who was always short with an athletic build, I never saw enough representation growing up. I would always wonder why I never looked like the girls I would see online and try to figure out ways I could make myself look like them. 

Growing up as a girl you are set to such a high standard of how men and society want you to look. They want us to all be skinny but not too skinny, they want us to be curvy but not chubby. No one can win. The beauty standards of society are toxic to women all over the world. Eating disorders, body dysmorphia, and self-esteem issues are all possible problems that can come from being told you have to look a certain way. As a woman I have gone through the struggles of not liking the way I look, seeing other girls on the internet who are prettier or thinner and wishing I could look like them. It's like a constant internal battle of going from being confident to just wanting to crawl out of my own skin. I’ve been called fat and I've been called beautiful, but the difference is that the “fat” comments tend to come out of the mouths of  boys who we feel that we are supposed to impress. That is not the case though we as women should not let society or men depict our self beauty because everyone is beautiful in their own way there is no “perfect” body type and that is a concept that many including myself have always struggled with.

“You are not alone, we see you, we hear you … we’re here too” (metoomvmt)

Me Too: Me too. Words you never want to hear when speaking up about the experiences of being body shamed, catcalled, or sexually abused, but those words will always be heard from women all over. Me Too represents the 97 percent of women who have experienced any sort of name calling, or sexual abuse. It's a scary thing to see how many have gone through the same thing as you, the realization that this is a bigger issue than it seems yet society still says that we are overreacting and lying about these numbers. Growing up with three brothers and having them be allowed to go out alone without my mom being worried was always something I wish I could experience as every time me and my sister go to leave the house the words we always hear are ‘are you going alone’ or ‘I’d rather you go with a friend’. My mom would sit me and my older sister down in our room as we got older and talk to us about ways to stay safe if we were out alone. Teaching us how to place our keys between our fingers and to always keep your phone open incase you need to call for someone. I’ve found myself constantly checking under my car or in the back seat before I get in because I don't want to be the next victim of an assault. Having boys or men try to yell at me from their cars as they drive by or when I'm pumping gas, I just have to put my head down because if I say something back telling them I’m not interested then I'm a “bitch” or “playing hard to get” and it's easier just to try and ignore it, though even that can cause trouble in itself. The phrase Me Too was the start of a movement, women all over the world going out to protest showing that we are stronger than our experiences, providing comfort for each other showing no one is in this alone. As a teenage girl I should  not have to be worried about strange men trying to talk to me, I shouldn’t be afraid to walk to my car alone at night, I shouldn’t be afraid when a car has been behind me for a little too long. I'm sick of being afraid and I'm sure women all around the world are feeling the same way . 

“Women's Rights are human rights!” (Amnesty)

Rights: For years women have been fighting for equal rights to men, and that fight is far from over. The discrimination we as women face every day because of our gender can result in lower pay, less opportunities, and even in severe cases, sexual and domestic violence because we are seen as weak. These past years we have seen many movements created for and by women to show that we won't stand for this discrimination anymore. One situation that sticks with me is the national women's soccer team fighting for years to receive equal pay. As a soccer player myself, keeping up with the news and watching these players put out statements on the unfairness always inspired me. The women's national team is arguably one of the best sports teams we have in America, watching how fast they run down the field and how easily they can score goals and seeing how they make big tournaments like Fifa and the Olympics when our men's team can barely achieve that is what always inspired me. This showed me that even though there is a difference in gender, and we as women might be seen as not as strong or fast as these men’s players, we are just as good as them. This is what pushed my love for the sport; seeing these women continue to break down the barriers kept me playing starting from when I was five years old and continues to inspire me. 

I remember in December of 2020 seeing players like Alex Morgan and Meghan Rapione posting about them finally winning the battle and achieving the pay they deserved. I was ecstatic for them. They showed that if you really want something you need to fight for it and you shouldn’t let anyone belittle you about it. They were an inspiration for girls all over. Discrimination against women can come in all forms whether its verbal or a physical act, some people might not even realize they are doing it. From those times in elementary school when the teachers would only let the boys move the desks and chairs because they were “stronger,” to men in business settings talking over women in the same field as if they don’t know what they’re talking about, but these are not the only things that men get more credit for.

As women in America, we are lucky with being able to do basic human rights such as vote and own our own land, but it is not like that in most parts of the world. Syria is seen as one of the worst countries for women's rights. These women don't have access to education, they have no political say, they lack the means to access water and medication, and they face food insecurity. I remember scrolling through Instagram one day and just seeing multiple photos of these women in Syria marching through the streets demanding rights. I was worried because I didn’t know if that was going to happen to us next here in America. Though we might be the land of the free, these past couple of years we have seen the same marches for women's rights in our very own country

“This year has brought an unprecedented wave of new state laws that only allow abortions to be performed early in pregnancy — if at all” (Policy-ish)

“My Body My Choice”: One notable statement we as women in America threw around this past year and continue to say is “my body my choice.”  This was never a fear I thought that I would have to face, but seeing men in power trying to form opinions on womens rights like abortion while they themselves have no idea what it’s like to carry a baby in their bodies was something I found myself worrying about at all times. Though I myself won’t have to worry about this problem personally, it makes me angry for those it does, women who can’t carry a baby for health reasons or are just not ready should have the choice on how they want to go about it. Knowing people who have been in the situation where they could not physically handle caring for a baby it was awful seeing them scared that they could potentially lose a basic human right to their own body. In nine different states abortion is banned, and mostly all these laws were made by men or women who are brainwashed into believing we are still in the 1900’s and not the 21st century. We have resources like Planned Parenthood for a reason, but imagine having to walk into a building and getting yelled at by people because they think you're a killer. Most times people go into planned parenthood for simple check ups because it is the safest place for women to go. It's almost like we are supposed to feel like we have no control over our bodies and that needs to end because as we say and will continue “my body my choice.” 

“..nearly 1 in 3, or 30%, of women have been subjected to physical and/or sexual violence by an intimate partner or non-partner sexual violence or both” (World Health Organization).

Abuse: Abuse can come in the form of mental or physical, and although it is not just women that experience abusive situations, it is more common for them to be faced with these problems as we are seen as weak and vulnerable. Women are often taken advantage of as a result. Men see this as they have power over the situation and take advantage of someone's weakness. It feels as though they are trying to assert their dominance by putting women's lives in danger. 

Getting into my first real relationship at the start of my freshman year, I had always expected it to be like in the movies. At first it was going out on dates and holding hands, but as the one year together mark passed, the magic our relationship held started to go downhill. Though there were no abusive tendencies in this relationship, the mental toll it took on me was the equivalent. I would be ignored for hours and told I was being annoying, but I let it go because I was young and didn’t know any better. The amount of times I would pick my phone up in hopes that the notification I received was from him, and the sadness and disappointment I would feel when it wasn't, was intense. I had told myself to not let it consume me, but at that point since it was my first real relationship I couldn’t help it. I would talk to my friends about what was going on and try to laugh about it when they told me it wasn’t okay. I would tell them it was no big deal and part of me felt like it was my own fault and that I couldn’t be that upset about it. I continued to let myself go through this mistreatment until months later I finally realized my friends were right. This isn't how a relationship works.

 My breaking point was the day I told him I wanted to sit down and talk \ face-to-face and he had told through a text  me to “shut up because you sound stupid.” That was when I realized I didn’t deserve to be talked to like this. I knew it was going to be hard, but I had finally let him go. I was letting myself be taken advantage of because I didn’t understand the signs of an unhealthy relationship and it seems I am not the only one. 

Over the pandemic, abusive relationships became more common due to the fact that everyone was stuck in their homes with their significant others without being able to leave.  The stress of not being able to get alone time and people losing their jobs was more than some could handle and the way for them to take out their frustration in most cases would be on their significant other.  More resources and ways to reach out to someone were advertised all over the internet during quarantine. I remember scrolling through Instagram during the start of the pandemic and seeing all the posts that were made to show people that they are not alone, and if they needed help, it gave resources they could use to reach out for help. It can be tough for most women to reach out because they are afraid of what could happen, but no one should be afraid of the possibility of getting punished for trying to get help. 

 I know for months personally I was terrified of telling my friends about what was going on in my own relationship because I was afraid they would think less of me. For others, it's the fear of their significant other finding out and hurting them more. Most women will be manipulated into feeling like it is their own fault, they'll feel like they weren't a good enough partner, or that there was something they could do better. At one point in my relationship, this is how I felt. I felt like I was the reason everything was going wrong because I couldn’t get my partner to admit it was him who was the problem. If we as women weren’t seen as weak, if we were able to be strong minded without being put down about it all the time, and weren't told that it was our fault we were being treated this way, then we would feel more comfortable standing up for ourselves. 

“People believe it's okay to poke fun at teenage girls, mock their interests and generally look down upon them as human beings” (Alluri).

Interests: Every girl has them, yet we constantly find ourselves being mocked and put down for finding joy in something. You could be a teenage girl making a TikTok dance for fun, and a grown man will duet it and find some way to mock you for it, which when you think about it, is completely weird for a 40 year old man to be making fun of and watching the videos of a 17 year old girl.  At this point it just feels like these boys and men alike will find any way they can to put down a woman. I grew up with three brothers, meaning I played video games all the time and still continue to do so. I will find myself playing games like CSGO with my brothers and constantly being bashed over the microphone by other boys because I am a girl, and according to them I’m not good at video games. They say I should just go off and do girly things like painting my nails or even telling me to “go back to the kitchen” . It's like men can't accept that we as women have similar interests to them or interests of our own. 

Recently, the latest trend among girls has been zodiac signs and crystals but we can’t even like that without boys saying it’s stupid and telling other boys to ‘run’ from any girl that has an interest in crystals. It basically feels like we can’t even live our lives and have our own interests without being bashed for it. It's all double standard because if we as girls were to make fun of boys for liking stuff like fishing or video games, we would be attacked. I just want to be able to have my interests without a male telling me that I can’t like something or being made fun of for it, and I know I'm not the only one who feels that way. 

“..There's a long way to go until all women can enjoy these rights” (Amnesty).

In The End: Though times have changed and women have gained more freedom and rights, it is prominent that our fight is not over yet. I am lucky to have learned how to be confident in myself and not take sh*t from anyone with the help of the strong women in my life that influence me every day. I’ve been able to use my past experiences to help my friends when they find themselves stuck in a toxic relationship. I take any chance I get to educate my little cousin on how she should be treated when she gets older and also take the time to teach my little brother how to treat a girl with respect. I do what I can to educate others on the struggles women go through every day to try and make a difference. We know the world isn’t perfect, we know we still need change, and we won’t stop until we achieve it.