I was eating lunch with my friends today in the mpr (multi purpose room if you’re a godless heathen) and to my amazement I had some apples! And when I pointed it out my friend Emanuel screeched “APPLES!!!” like he was a starving man in the desert and finally found some source of food. He then proceeded to open the bag and eat them. Then my friend Elijah said “give me half of the last one” he did and I asked Elijah what he planned to do. He looked me straight in the eyes and said “I’m making applesauce.” Then he started mashing it into a mush pile of apples. And at this point we were all laughing like hyenas that were given laughing gas. Then Elijah said “ew there’s a hole in the bag” and tossed it at me, then I threw it away. The End.

Alright fine I admit it… I DON’T KNOW HOW KING CRIMSON WORKS! HE ERASES TIME??? BUT WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? IF HE ERASES TIME THEN THERE SHOULDN’T BE ANYTHING THERE!!! YOU CAN GO FORWARD IN TIME OR BACK IN TIME OR FREEZE TIME BUT YOU CAN’T ERASE IT!!!

Ok I’m not gonna lie but I like anime. BUT certain anime none of this playing sports shit or harem garbage. I like the as I like to call it “the main character looks at his hand and is suddenly unbeatable” genre of anime. Ok I swear I’m gonna be honest this time. The only one I watch is “My Hero Academia”. One of my friends does to but he calls it “Boku No Hero Academy” like some kind of FREAK!! He even knows that what he says is stupid but he just keeps calling it that and it makes me want to commit die.

Underrated Superpower: Turning into dinosaurs like Reptil from Marvel. Hear me out but in the comics he can turn his hands into claws and wings and shit like that. And he can turn into full on dinosaurs. Imagine having that power when someone breaks into your house. They’re like “Alright let’s steal some stuff man -- HOLY SHIT IS THAT A T-REX?!” or your gonna be late to school, you can just turn your arms into wings and get there in time.

My friend Elijah said that if this gets published and his placenta haiku is rejected he’ll go insane.