Thousands of people across the nation have recently come to the realization that the so called “American Dream,” which drew their ancestors to the land of opportunity decades ago, does not actually have any value whatsoever.

These people are outraged over discovering that it is extremely difficult to ascend the staircase of American opportunity, which is what they believe they should be striving for. On top of that, it’s not even very satisfactory to reach the top.

“I mean who really wants a white picket fence these days anyway,” Norman, Okla. resident John Smith said. “Those are so out of style.”

Smith is referring to the long-standing idea that the perfect suburban American life involves a perfectly manicured lawn and a brick house encompassed by a spotless white fence. This idea has long been endorsed by society, but that may be starting to change.

“I just can’t believe that they lied to us for so long,” Smith said. “I guess it’s our fault, too, though. I mean, we believed it.”

While most who have not yet come into possession of the innate dream of America are expressing feelings of exacerbation, those that have reached this “elevated state of being” say that there’s not a whole lot to be upset about.

“It’s just not as great as I expected it to be,” Eden Prairie, Minn. resident George Brown said. “Sure it’s nice, but the lawn doesn’t take care of itself, and the idiot neighbor backs into the fence with his fancy new BMW and doesn’t even offer to come and help you repaint, and you have to wash the house every once in a while, and you have to act like you actually like the people you live near. It’s like that weird Asian food. It looks really good, but when you taste it you’re really disappointed.”

Clearly, the American Dream isn’t what it once was. There was once a time when the dream meant a suburban home and a family, but as times change the dream does also. Today the dream is so inflated with ridiculous standards that it is almost impossible to accomplish.

“I remember that there was once a time when everyone wanted the same little house, the same little car, the same little life,” 83 year-old Rowlett, Tex. resident Sally Johnson said. “Things are much different now. You just don’t see that kind of enthusiasm anymore.”

Some are beginning to get concerned about the apparent breakdown of society that the nation is undergoing.

“Citizens are breaking away from mainstream goals,” Bellevue, Wash. Mayor Tim Jones said. “We just can’t handle having everybody wanting something different for their lives.

Whether this divergence is healthy for society or not remains to be seen, but it appears that the traditional American Dream may not be front and center for most people as it has always been.