Teenage years are known as the “coming of age” for English teachers, the “if it’s not on Instagram, it never happened” years for teenager’s themselves, or the “honey, get out of bed!” years for parents. Regardless of what name you have chosen to label the years you are 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, or 19, I can make a general statement and say that it is a time of confusion. For many teenagers, confusion can be defined as not knowing oneself, or not having the will to be oneself. Sadly, this is where personalities are lost. This is where many teenagers, and even children, begin to live their idol’s life.

Character, character, character. I believe that character (yes, I said that word again :)) is one of the most important concepts to grasp. You may be the greatest athlete in school, or the best test taker in the grade, however, none of these talents come close to the importance of being able to interact and effectively communicate with others.

Try one, two, or all five of these little tips. I hope you will find them somewhat useful. Close your eyes and thank yourself for attempting to build a better you.

Write a diary. Yeah, sounds pretty pathetic and more like something the typical bubble-gum girl would do, right? No. I disagree. I have been keeping a diary since I was in first grade, so I have some experience (considering the stuff I write in there.) If you are one of those kids who are manipulated by your friend because they have more followers on Instagram than you, and are unable to speak up for your own rights, then this is the perfect opportunity to help build your own self confidence and recognize your true personality, apart from how you conduct yourself around your friend. If in reality you are afraid to speak your mind because you want that friend with lots of Instagram followers to like you, then keep a diary! Trust me, no one is going to argue with you! By keeping a diary, you will narrating your truth onto paper. This way, you will remember your genuine character in a sea of confusion.

Look at old photographs. Flipping through photos of when I was seven or eight, very innocent and unaware of the world, I saw snapshots of my old friends. I saw snapshots of the places I had visited. I was even able to critique my smile through these photographs. Here is what I am trying to say: photographs recall memories of how you conducted yourself in the past. This can be compared to how you conduct yourself currently. Many of us will see a difference. Whether that difference sparks a reaction is up to you.

Meditate. When you meditate, you remain in a state of mindfulness and peace. Unless you secretly talk to your friend on the phone when you meditate, it is a time, whether it is two minutes or half an hour, of reflection. Many teachers at school will offer meditation breaks during long blocks. During these minutes of silence, you will learn to relax, and cultivate positive energy. This positive energy can be channeled in any direction, and when it is funneled correctly, to the right aspects in life, it will assuredly bring joy, peace, and develop stronger character.

Learn to cultivate your own happiness. I remember when I was younger, I relied on someone else to make a joke. Happiness became contingent. I remember when I was younger and in math class, one boy was the only person who had solved a difficult problem. My teacher walked up to him and said, “So, how did you solve this math problem? What steps did you take?” That boy answered, “uhhh…uhhh… (unable to answer) I used my brain?” I remember the whole class cracking up at this joke. I remember it making my day. I remember relying on him for happiness. Through years of learning and trying, I think middle school has changed my perspective. Now, I know that being self supporting is more effective in the long run. I will not only be able to bring bliss to myself, but I will be able to spread it to those who are still discovering how.

Don’t be afraid of making mistakes. That was me from Pre-k to the beginning of middle school. I HATED making mistakes, and for those psychologists out there, here’s what I was thinking: 100% on tests means success in future, if you have a mistake, 100% goes down the toilet. Now I understand how pressuring this “theory” becomes as you grow older. I mean, let’s take a breather, how many people are successful for solely being good at test taking? Mistakes and grades simply show a margin of where you are, and what you still need to learn. Mistakes help us grow, they help us improve. By learning that it is okay to make mistakes, I have taken another giant step in my development towards a better character.