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The Hardest Part
She fidgeted before her father, wringing her fingers with their chipped polish and shuffling her beat-up sneakered feet. She kept her gaze glued to the floor and her throat had a lump lodged in it the size of a baseball, but when she spoke, her words were surprisingly strong and clear.
“Dad, I really need to tell you something and I really need you to be okay with it.” She paused, just for a second, and took a deep breath. “I’m gay.”
For a long moment, there was nothing. Tears pooled in her eyes as a million possible reactions flashed through her mind, a million terrifying things her father could do or say. But then one of his hands was on her shoulder and the other was below her chin and before she could react she was looking up into his face. And his eyes were full of love and acceptance.
“Okay. That’s perfectly okay.” She could no longer keep herself together at his words, and her relief engulfed her like a wave as she started to cry. He hugged her close, his love and comfort firm and unshakable. Finally, she stopped, taking a deep breath and standing up straighter, running a shaking hand over her face. Her father spoke again when she was composed.
“But I must say I am disappointed.” Her heart dropped like a stone and she stared at him, hardly daring to breathe. But he was not finished. “Not in you. No, never in you for something that is out of your control. I am disappointed for you. I am disappointed that to be happy, you must live a harder life every day than those around you. I am disappointed that you will have to fight twice as hard for everything for people who are no better than yourself. I am saddened to my core that you must walk the difficult path by no choice of your own because the world is not ready to accept those who are different and special. That just because the world says something is normal, all else is labeled to be abnormal. It breaks my heart that you will face anger, and disgust, and ignorance from those who do not or refuse to understand you and that you will lose opportunities that people who conform to societies values are given. But I am proud, so very proud of you for being yourself despite that, for making it this far and for fighting through those hurdles you have already found more difficult. I am proud because I know those obstacles will only make you stronger, and that you will get past them with flying colors, because I know you can and will succeed and that in the end it will mean twice as much because of the difficulties you had to conquer to get there. You are my wonderful little girl, and I will always hope you happiness in everything you do. And though it will be hard, I know you will fight to the end and you will find that happy ending you deserve, because you are different and special, and you have the bravery to face the world head on with everything you’ve got.”
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For all those who want to come out, have come out, and are needing some support. My love is with you.