Standing With a Secret. | Teen Ink

Standing With a Secret.

January 7, 2008
By Anonymous

Standing With a Secret.
It was a cool fall night in October, the lights of the football field were shinning bright on the football players in the little town of Milton. That night the lights were shinning a little brighter on the captain of the football team Jake Ryans standing barely six feet tall with a secret much taller. Dark brown hair and a smile that hide his true self from the world. He was every girls dream an outstanding athlete, great looking and an a amazing personality.
“That’s the game Milton six Jefferson two.” The announcer proclaimed over the loud speaker.
Nothing made Jake more ecstatic then winning a game. Everyone loved him for it. Especially his new girlfriend Jessika she was the “it” girl at Milton high tall, blonde but even though she came off as the nasty, rude, and inconsiderate cheerleader. Jessika had the heart of gold and every girl detested her, especially when it came to her and Jake

“Jake! Hun I am so proud of you. Way to go.” As Jessika leaped in to Jake’s arms

Jake was at a time in his life where everything was so puzzling, even the smallest things in life seemed like the biggest obstacle. See Jake wanted more then anything to have that mutual attraction to Jessika and show her he loved her so much, but he just couldn’t because when Jessika ran and hurdled in his arms, kissed him good night after a nice evening, or simply hugged him he wanted the feeling so badly, but in Jake’s mind he wanted to share those feelings with a guy. Jake was at another turning point in his life. The issue dealt with his sexual orientation liking a girl and more than ever like a guy.

Well shortly after wining the game of the season. Jake still wearing his football uniform, which was covered in dark mud from head to toe. The mascot, a dragon was torn to bits due to all of the grabbing, pulling and tackling. Jessika and others, met up at Jake’s best friends house, Evan was the jock of all jocks. He was tall of course dirty blonde hair and had muscles that couldn’t help but to budged out of his tight fitting tees. Evan and Jake had been friends ever since Jake could remember. They did everything together and even though they were close, Jake still had no intention of ever telling Evan about his huge secrete. He couldn’t, he had no way to even come about trying to telling him. He wouldn’t understand, on top of that not accept it.

After the game Jake and some other friends went to Evan’s house. They were drinking, you know, to celebrate their remarkable victory that night. Jessika was also drinking. Everyone was out of control and every time the two of them would drink things would happen, jest small things not the actually sex. Not to serious but close enough Jessika was always over Jake when the two of them began to drink. This confused Jake a lot he liked her, but he didn’t like her in a sexual way and he couldn’t tell her why or what’s wrong with him. He just couldn’t because Jake had a heart, a big heart at that and for him to just tell her “ummmm…Jessika im gay.” He couldn’t do this it would put him and her in to complete shock, but the night got darker and the alcohol went down smoother. Soon it started again, Jessika unhurriedly got closer and closer to Jake. He knew she would and she began to kiss Jake and Jake being drunk and big hearted went along with it, well eventfully things started to move fast and he began to think to him self
Ok I can’t do this.
No…more you don’t even know what will happen. Jake, in his mind while kissing Jessika was going out of control.
She will understand I have to tell her.
this and so many thought were running through his head. He felt as if he was screaming his emotions and no one heard him and it happen. Jake pushed Jessika off him; Jessika stumbled on to the floor.

“Ahh!...What was that for?” As Jessika asked letting out a big sigh

“I can’t do this I’m sorry.” Jake replied swallowing his truth.

“And why’s that?……” Jessica inquired still shocked and still drunk.

“I…….I just can I’m sorry.”
Jake could deal with this he tried so hard not to say anything.

“Jake, Hun you know you can tell me what’s wrong.” And After a pause she asked.
“Is there someone else?” Jessika questioned.

“No…not at all.” Jake said with confidence
“Well then what is it? Jessika Screamed with confusion
Jakes world for the split second went by so slow he felt his head pond, the blood run through every little vein in his body and even felt that tear that had just ran down his check.

“Jessika…” Jake said very quite.

“Yes Jake?” Jessika answered still looking at him with confusion

“Jessika….I….I’m gay.” As Jakes voice cracked.
Once again his mind began racing with thoughts oh my god what did I do? Jake was so lost but in that same way he almost felt this huge trouble burden come off his chest.

Jessika, in complete awe was so shock all see could do was look at him, mouth open and the look of question on her face.

“Im so shocked…What...How?”

“Im gay im sorry…” he said.
Jessika began to cry she was just lost more then ever her new boyfriend, her new everything, Gay how?!, what did I do wrong? Questions scrambled through her mind. She couldn’t deal with this and ran through the door and out to her car. And Jake was left there, alone scared worried that she might tell others he wasn’t ready for this.

Saturday passed and not until Sunday night did he receive a text saying.
Jake, I love you and I will support you in any witch way I can, we will talk soon p.s Ur secret is safe with me.

Jake closed his phone and smiled he knew from that point on in his life that many people will accept him for him.

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