In past years, the idea of LGBTQ+ marriage and parenting has been viewed by the general public as wrong or immoral, sometimes even forcing these people into situations where they cannot have public, if any at all, romantic or family lives. The term “LGBTQ+” is an umbrella term that is used to describe a community of people and the sexualities and gender they identify with. The acronym itself stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trangender, Queer (or Questioning), and the “+” for all unmentioned sexualities and genders. As society changes, these relationships have seen to become more widely accepted, and have since become an opportunity for new and diverse families in the current day. Although some things are changing for the better, many people, even today, still shed bad light on the idea of same-sex couples, and their various ways of life. It is often seen as too drastically life-changing from the heteronormative culture they have grown accustomed to. This prejudice against the queer community can cause some to reject the rights and futures of them by refusing them the right to marry or adopt the children that many in the LGBTQ+ are biologically unable to have on their own. Even though there always may be people who detest LGBTQ+ marriage and parenting due to it being “harmful” to children and society in general, it has been shown that quite the opposite is true with these couples and families; as they are said to have some of the most healthy relationships and bring happiness to children who might have otherwise never had a place to call home. 

As of late, the appearance of queer marriage has become more mainstream and accepting. Unfortunately, there are still many LGBTQ+ people in relationships that are afraid or unable to take the next step due to cultures and society. The topic of LGBTQ+ marriage and parenting has been a topic of political debate for many years, and finding a way to escape this war of rights that is solely based on what political party a person may identify with, is important for the wellbeing and stability of LGBTQ+ individuals. Having your rights and everyday life be seen as something that can be changed or won over through a debate would definitely invalidate and discriminate against a person, which only leads to harmful environments and unhappy situations. This is especially true for LGBTQ+ people of color, who oftentimes experience relentless discrimination based on their sexual orientation, race, gender, or even social class. Preston Mitchum, a black, gay, and queer man living in the Midwest, shared one experience of his that left him feeling singled out: “While browsing in Georgetown, a majority-white area, I was once told to leave a store because I ‘was taking too long looking’ just to be mocked by other staff. Not only was I in this particular store for less than 10 minutes, I was certainly not the only one. I was profiled, targeted, and belittled because of where I was and who I was perceived to be.” This kind of prejudice is something that is experienced by queer people, especially those of color, almost everywhere they go. Whether it be work, school, a trip to the grocery store, or even in their own homes, these people are faced with unfair situations that may leave them feeling less than human or unimportant. 

The right to marry the person you have fallen in love with is a basic human right that should not be decided by anyone else but you and your partner. Getting married is a way to create a stronger, healthier relationship with a person. Legal Marriage among LGBTQ+ persons, in particular, has shown results of “better general health¨and “higher quality of life” than those in non-married relationships (Goldsen). Not only do people marry to create a bond or promise with someone, but marriage also has some financial benefits (such as tax inclusions or health care); these, in some cases, can be harder for same-sex couples to attain, especially when marriage between them is not an option. Experts say that the most important issues when it comes to marriage “should be retirement planning, estate planning and tax planning (Clabaugh).'' Big steps like these are oftentimes stripped from some LGBTQ+ couples even if they are allowed to get married. However, these particular benefits still aren't enough for everyone. Some LGBTQ+ couples simply choose not to get married, so that they can avoid the bias and judgment of society. Being victimized based on sexual orientation is “the strongest predictor of poor health among LGBT older adults,” according to a study supervised and written by Jane Goldsen. Many LGBTQ+ people today, even if social circumstances are seeing some improvement, still can't escape the endless tyranny that comes with publicizing their relationship.

When it comes to LGBTQ+ families, there is no doubt that they have it harder than most. With the constant judgment that the world throws at them, it can be extremely difficult for these couples to start a family of their own. Especially when the idea of adopting a child may come with the fear of hate crimes or sometimes even flat out refused. In the past, there have even been laws prohibiting LGBTQ+ couples from adopting children. Laws like this have since been revoked, allowing LGBTQ+ adoption in all 50 states. However, there are some states that are allowed to refuse to work with LGBTQ+ couples based on their preferences. The main reason for this is because various people and organizations claimed it “violated (its) constitutional rights to free religious exercise and free speech” (Moreau). Using your rights as an excuse for not allowing LGBTQ+ couples to adopt while simultaneously violating these people's rights is one-sided and definitely not a product of “freedom of speech.” Based on this logic, shouldn't LGBTQ+ people also have their say in what they believe is right? Not to mention the large number of children that have found homes because of LGBTQ+ couples. In 2019, there were almost 3 million children in the United States who did not have any parents, with only 424,000 in Foster Care. The Williams Institute’s American Community Survey reports that: “Same-sex couples are seven times more likely than different-sex couples to be raising an adopted or foster child.” It has also been shown that LGBTQ+ couples are more likely to adopt a child who is older, a minority, or special needs. There are many people who believe LGBTQ+ adoption to be harmful, without LGBTQ+ adoption there would be a very large number of children who are left without homes and families to ever return to. 

Many LGBTQ+ families are discriminated against because they are far from the “traditional family.” LGBTQ+ families are oftentimes diverse and nothing like what families have been in the past. Even though change and development like this in our society is mostly a good thing, there are still large groups of people who disregard it. Instead of accepting different kinds of people and families, it is viewed as “harmful.” Most prejudice against LGBTQ+ families comes from people who are religious or have grown up being taught that any other future than what is traditional is a sin. It is also common for these people to believe that the children who are being raised by LGBTQ+ couples will be at disadvantage or forced into a certain “lifestyle.” Thinking that children in these situations are at a disadvantage based on nothing but hate against the parents is unfair and very prejudiced. In fact, there are even some LGBTQ+ parents that are shown to have healthier families than some Cis-Heterosexual families.

One reason for this is LGBTQ+ parents having a stronger relationship with their children. A psychologist, Abbie Goldburg, who is a researcher on the topic of gay and lesbian parenting, claims that gay parents “tend to be more motivated, more committed than heterosexual parents on average, because they chose to be parents,”  Compared to the nearly 50 percent of heterosexual parents, who have their children by accident, there is lots more room for committed relationships and involvement with children. 

Though it seems there might always be someone to discriminate against couples and families who are LGBTQ+, it can be proven that hate like that is futile and irrelevant to the way these people and families actually are. It is important to recognize that LGBTQ+ families are not much different from Heterosexual ones, for the most part, and that if there is any change, it is not necessarily a bad thing. There is no reason to hate on people for being who they are, sometimes even going as far as to want that person's rights taken from them. With continued support and more people pushing acceptance, we can hope for a better, inclusive future.

Works Cited:

Taylor, Derrick Bryson. Adoption Groups Could Turn Away L.g.b.t. Families under Proposed Rule. 2 Nov. 2019, www.nytimes.com/2019/11/02/us/trump-hhs-lgbtq-rule.html.

Legasse, Author By Jason. The Pros and Cons of Lgbt Adoption. 8 June 2020, www.adoptionchoicesofkansasmissouri.com/the-pros-and-cons-of-lgbt-adoption/.

Lipp, Murray. 7 Ways the U.S.A. Benefits from the Legalization of Gay Marriage. 7 Dec. 2017, www.huffpost.com/entry/gay-marriage-is-great-for_b_3370173.

Konow, Drew. “First Hand Stories of LGBTQ Discrimination.” Religious Institute, religiousinstitute.org/resources/stories-lgbtq-discrimination/.

“Gay and Getting Married? Financial Advantages (and Disadvantages).” WTOP, 30 May 2018, wtop.com/business-finance/2018/05/gay-and-getting-married-financial-advantages-and-disadvantages/.

“Gay and Getting Married? Financial Advantages (and Disadvantages).” WTOP, 30 May 2018, wtop.com/business-finance/2018/05/gay-and-getting-married-financial-advantages-and-disadvantages/. 

Jayn Goldsen Research Study Supervisor. “Are LGBT Americans Actually Reaping the Benefits of Marriage?” The Conversation, 31 July 2020, theconversation.com/are-lgbt-americans-actually-reaping-the-benefits-of-marriage-77065. 

Moreau, Julie. “Adoption Agency Should Be Able to Reject Gay Couples, Trump Administration Argues.” NBCNews.com, NBCUniversal News Group, 4 June 2020, www.nbcnews.com/feature/nbc-out/adoption-agency-should-be-able-reject-gay-couples-trump-administration-n1224911. 

This text provides general information. Statista assumes no liability for the information given being complete or correct. Due to varying update cycles, statistics can display more up-to-date data than referenced in the text. “Topic: Foster Care and Adoption in the U.S.” Statista, www.statista.com/topics/2243/foster-care-and-adoption-in-the-us/. 

Organization. “Gay Parents Better Than Straight Parents? What Research Shows.” HuffPost, HuffPost, 16 Jan. 2012, www.huffpost.com/entry/gay-parents-better-than-straights_n_1208659.