As a curious person, I spend hours learning about the world. The more you learn about the world, however, the more you learn about how scary the world is. We live in a country formed on another culture’s land, are run by a government dominated by males, and devour media fueled by racism. People say we don’t come out of the womb hateful, but I’m not sure how long it takes for this hate to become part of us. So in this world of police brutality, cat calling, and serious meanness—when, and maybe why, do we give hateful people a second chance?

My stance on this issue is simple- you deserve a second chance when you realize you wasted the first one. We have to end the acceptance of societal racism and engrained misogyny. Instead we need to encourage the taking of a second chance, as long as that second chance produces a different result than the first. Rather than excusing cultural appropriation, we should educate on cultural appreciation. Rather than saying “boys will be boys” when male children lash out, we start raising boys and girls the same way. Instead of using “gay” as an insult, we begin to arm our kids with a myriad of clever insults that don’t simply disrespect a group of people.

People who continuously perpetuate these detrimental characteristics are those who do not deserve a second chance. Never will I accept your hometown or your parents as excuses that validate your ignorance. One time, sure. An accidental slur or single disrespectful Halloween costumes don’t automatically make an individual an awful person. In fact, they make a person deserving of a second chance. But when the harm a person is doing is pointed out to them, it is their humane duty to learn. And through this learning, I am positive they will become a better person.

If we never made mistakes, maybe we wouldn’t need second chances. Maybe if our world wasn’t so full of outlets for hate, we wouldn’t need so many tries to get to love. Maybe if we started with acceptance we wouldn’t need to try so hard to found it. I think it is important to give second chances. But I think we should end with those. Third, fourth, and fifth chances aren’t signs of forgiveness; they’re signs of accepting and internalizing hatred.