Mom, I’m Gay | Teen Ink

Mom, I’m Gay MAG

By Anonymous

     I remember that day when I proudly stated, “Mom, I’m gay.” I felt liberated - until I realized that she wanted to push me out of the car. Liberation, all right. Good thing I wasn’t liberated from my seat belt.

I’ve always been one to test the waters. Sometimes the outcome is good, like admitting I’m gay, and sometimes the outcome is tragic, like that haircut in third grade.

I decided to tell her that night because she was mad at me already. Yes, and my parents call me the smart child. I felt the need to test the limits again. Besides, how much deeper could I dig myself?

Well, it turns out, pretty far.

“Mom, I’m gay.”

The car swerved to the left. Honk. Then to the right. Beep. As she straightened out, I realized I had just blabbed the secret of a lifetime; some people keep this inside their whole lives while I blurted it out on a car ride to my therapist’s office.

“No, you’re not.”

“Yes, I am,” I responded, just for the sake of contradicting her. “Look, I’m going out on a limb to tell you. It’s not easy for me.” Well, there it was. It just came out. Once I got going, it was pretty easy.

“I just want you to be normal. Don’t you want to be normal?”

“I do! This has nothing to do with being normal!” An argument. Things were getting interesting.

“Then fix it. Don’t be gay!”

Oh, if I could have screamed, I would have! Fix it? There’s nothing to be fixed! Toilets need to be fixed! My sexuality? Nope! Being gay isn’t something I could do anything about. I was mad, so I huffed and puffed in silence as she drove, white-knuckled, down the highway.

At the therapist’s office, I bawled about how unlucky I was to have a mother who lacked understanding, was uncaring and was a bad driver. The therapist called my mom in, saying the three of us needed to talk. I sensed a fiasco.

Mom walked in with a fake smile. I wanted to tell her to wipe it off, but that wasn’t what we were here for. She sat next to me and I started analyzing her every move. Okay, she sat down next to me. That’s good. Extra long blink. Not good. She doesn’t even want to look at me. She’s shifting in her seat. She’s uncomfortable. Or maybe she’s trying to get closer to me. Or farther away.

“Hello? Earth to you, dear.”

“Umm.” Perfect. I felt like an idiot. My therapist was being paid huge amounts of money to hear me say umm and analyze my mother’s every move? I was so busy looking at my mom that I’d completely missed what my therapist had been saying.

“I think you know that Mom loves you no matter what. And Mom, this isn’t an attention thing. I’ve known this for a while. It’s no big secret.” Well, not anymore!

We went home that evening pretending nothing had happened. I was careful not to distract my mother.

And today? Well, we’re getting along. I’ve learned to love the fact that I like girls and am secure in my sexuality, I’ve been able to tell other people. I’m not ashamed anymore. It’s who I am. Just like I’ll always mismatch my socks, I’ll always have a weakness for underwear shopping and hazelnut coffee, and I’ll always like girls. My mother may not exactly love it, but she can deal. But just wait until I bring home my first girlfriend!



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This article has 200 comments.


on Feb. 26 2012 at 9:17 am
Supriya Ambwani SILVER, Na, Other
8 articles 0 photos 2 comments
This is the best thing I've read for a very long time!

on Feb. 4 2012 at 6:18 pm
savetheplanet PLATINUM, Anaheim, California
45 articles 9 photos 564 comments

Favorite Quote:
It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Good for you! I admire your courage.

knjackson5 said...
on Feb. 4 2012 at 5:02 pm
I agree with this completely and couldn't have said it better myself.

Strangergirl said...
on Feb. 4 2012 at 4:19 pm
I don't know either. Somrtimes I think I like girls, and sometimes guys. But it's definently not a choice. If it were I'd just choose and get on with my life, things wouldn't be so frustrating.

on Jan. 13 2012 at 10:13 pm
n3xtusplaya DIAMOND, Honolulu, Hawaii
83 articles 23 photos 232 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;It&#039;s better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for what you are not.&quot;<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> ~Luara Moncur

Wow this is very good...the way its written and how you stae something in the first sentance and dont just forget it there...you refer to it again later...nice. and this just inspired me to speak out finally!

on Jan. 13 2012 at 5:41 pm
ShelbyMarie93 PLATINUM, Lexington, Nebraska
35 articles 1 photo 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;When Death to either shall come -- I pray it be first to me.&quot; ~Robert Bridges<br /> or<br /> &quot;Life is not a jump; it&#039;s a headfirst dive.&quot;<br /> or<br /> &quot;Within you I lose myself; without you I find myself wanting to be lost again.&quot; <br /> <br /> ╔══╗<br /> ╚╗╔╝<br /> ╔╝(&macr;`v&acute;&macr;)<br /> ╚══`.&cedil;.Isaac H.

Dear Stickler For Grammar... "...you can't begin "but" at the beginning of a sentence." Just so you know, that's incorrect grammar. You should have said "You can't use "but" at the beginning of a sentence." Nice try, though.

on Jan. 4 2012 at 10:29 am
greenbean_94 SILVER, Somerville, Tennessee
7 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Life&#039;s not about waiting for the storm to pass, it&#039;s about learning to dance in the rain.&quot;

Well since it's supposed to be a "CHOICE", shouldn't you just CHOOSE which one you like better? Just a thought.

SeasonalFog said...
on Dec. 23 2011 at 7:58 pm
SeasonalFog, Irvine, California
0 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
Omne ignotum pro magnifico.

I like the beginning- it's a good hook. I feel that the middle part with the therapist was lacking, as if that part wasn't finished. It goes from- this will be a fiasco to the therapist ending the conversation.

eliana924 GOLD said...
on Dec. 22 2011 at 11:15 pm
eliana924 GOLD, New York, New York
11 articles 0 photos 116 comments
Bravo to you for posting this. Not only is it a unique story, but it's also written very well. However, I also think the ending could still be worked on.

on Dec. 22 2011 at 7:30 pm
fringesofinspiredlunacy SILVER, Baltimore, Maryland
8 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
I plan on living forever. So far, so good.

First of all-good for you for posting this. :/ Second of all, I thought it was very entertaining (I feel weird saying it, because it's about your life, but still). The ending seemed a bit rushed, though.

on Dec. 22 2011 at 6:04 pm
FatesMistake13, Springerville, Arizona
0 articles 0 photos 157 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Most people die of a sort of creeping common sense, and discover when it is too late that the only things one never regrets are one&#039;s mistakes.&quot; Oscar Wilde <br /> <br /> &quot;The books that the world calls immoral are books that show the world its own shame.&quot;

Your writing style is very entertaining and while it has a kinda dark humor edge to it you kept it serious enough that the message and seriousness of the plot were maintained. Love it! Also you are a real inspiration for poeple, no matter what or who they are facing, to have the courage to do what they believe is right and be themselves.

on Dec. 22 2011 at 5:52 pm
FatesMistake13, Springerville, Arizona
0 articles 0 photos 157 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Most people die of a sort of creeping common sense, and discover when it is too late that the only things one never regrets are one&#039;s mistakes.&quot; Oscar Wilde <br /> <br /> &quot;The books that the world calls immoral are books that show the world its own shame.&quot;

Honestly you cannot testify that someone is unhappy or empty inside simply because of their sexuality.

on Dec. 22 2011 at 5:48 pm
FatesMistake13, Springerville, Arizona
0 articles 0 photos 157 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Most people die of a sort of creeping common sense, and discover when it is too late that the only things one never regrets are one&#039;s mistakes.&quot; Oscar Wilde <br /> <br /> &quot;The books that the world calls immoral are books that show the world its own shame.&quot;

While your mother may not understand I'm sure she will lvoe you no matter what. :)

on Dec. 22 2011 at 4:31 pm
swcricket98 GOLD, Williamson, Georgia
13 articles 17 photos 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

I agree 100% with this comment.

on Dec. 22 2011 at 4:27 pm
swcricket98 GOLD, Williamson, Georgia
13 articles 17 photos 102 comments

Favorite Quote:
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

I really loved the meaning of this article. The sentence before the last was the epitome of my views on many controversial topics - I am who I am; deal with it. The only criticism I might have of this piece is that I felt as if the beginning was very well written, but as the story progressed it seemed as if you were rushing to finish. I would love to see this story elaborated even more.

Halcoyn BRONZE said...
on Dec. 22 2011 at 1:57 pm
Halcoyn BRONZE, Navi Mumbai, Other
2 articles 0 photos 7 comments
You've got spunk!! It's a real nice change from all the mundane, mushy things people upload. Keep being honest, keep being fantastic. :)

Fia-fia BRONZE said...
on Dec. 22 2011 at 1:32 pm
Fia-fia BRONZE, Bethesda, Maryland
4 articles 1 photo 157 comments
This is great! As much as you say it was easy, it still must have been rather hard, especially as a family experience. Thank you for sharing! :)

on Dec. 2 2011 at 12:01 am
me too but nobody know i kind of deal with it in my head

on Nov. 30 2011 at 8:14 pm
RedheadAtHeart ELITE, Mountain Home, Idaho
109 articles 0 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
Love with open hands. - Madeleine L&#039;Engle

Your courage is admirable, and so is your writing style.

byebye said...
on Nov. 30 2011 at 6:47 pm
byebye, Nevermore, Other
0 articles 0 photos 250 comments
Ditto. I felt just the same way.