On Socks | Teen Ink

On Socks MAG

By Anonymous

     Yesterday, I was a girl with two white socks and no self-esteem. I was the girl who wrote in secret, dreamed of tomorrow, and obsessively chased Perfection. Never second best, I pushed too hard to be a top student, a musical prodigy, a prima ballerina.

Which brings me to - what is perfect? As quickly as white socks faded to pink tights, I was faced with a new obsession: The Perfect Body. With every skipped meal and misplaced pound, I jumped higher and glided smoother. Ribs began to protrude from tight-fitting leotards, but I only pinched my underweight stomach with disappointment, assured that it would be just One More Pound. Boys gaped at my lanky legs and playfully toyed with my growing vulnerability, but I saw them only as distractions.

Though the destination remained unclear, the horizon was brilliantly lit with the reds of a glorious sunset that I vowed someday to claim. But the closer I got to the vanishing sun, the more obviously the splendor faded out of Technicolor. Blacks painted my pain; whites, the hospital walls. The rest was shaded in gray, and once-defined lines blurred. My paintings withered to become only distorted mirror reflections, and I almost drowned in an endless sea of bones and pointe shoes.

And then, as gradually as it had gone, the light filtered back in. Slowly at first, creeping with shared ice cream cones and midnight phone calls, then it bounded with accomplished Mozart concertos and passionate kisses under a blanket of stars.

Eventually, pink ribbons were unlaced after a final pirouette and treadmills retreated to the basement. Hands invaded my desolate tunnel of isolation and, though I walked out on my own bare feet, I cannot say I walked alone. The light seized food logs and hospital beds, infectiously and undeniably ruining the life I had been resigned to follow until it, too, yielded to the infinite darkness of death. It had no shape and certainly no color, and though I hear it goes by many names, for now I shall simply call it a pure shade of Faith.

Yesterday, I was a girl with two white socks and no self-esteem. I no longer fit that constricting mold. White socks are One Size Fits All, and pink tights are too far from it. I am not the prima ballerina, nor am I perfect.

I am a burning passion with ideals and limits. I try and sometimes fail, I love and sometimes am hurt, I believe and sometimes fall. I think, I speak, I feel from the powers of a well-developed mind; no brainwashing society can capture and cage me. And I am beautiful.

Yesterday, I was a girl with two white socks and no self-esteem. Today, I am a woman with mismatched rainbow socks and independence. My baggage comes with a passport and, for better or worse, I cannot be confined to Perfection. I move forward with nothing but two new socks and the unanswerable question of what my feet will wear tomorrow.

*Teen Ink '04 London Writing Experience Participant

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This article has 19 comments.

i love this so much!

on Jun. 7 2016 at 10:01 am
midnightmetanoia PLATINUM, Gaithersburg, Maryland
39 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Soon madness has worn you down. It’s easier to do what it says than argue. In this way, it takes over your mind. You no longer know where it ends and you begin. You believe anything it says. You do what it tells you, no matter how extreme or absurd. If it says you’re worthless, you agree. You plead for it to stop. You promise to behave. You are on your knees before it, and it laughs."
— Marya Hornbacher

This piece is absolutely incredible... thank you for posting it so we could all read this

on Feb. 16 2015 at 2:16 am
Ray--yo PLATINUM, Kathmandu, Other
43 articles 2 photos 581 comments

Favorite Quote:
God Makes No Mistakes. (Gaga?)
"I have hated the words and I have loved them, and I hope I have made them right." -Liesel Meminger via Markus Zusac, "The Book Thief"

'I cannot be confined to perfection' loved that bit :)

on Dec. 15 2012 at 10:26 pm
crazycomplicated BRONZE, Midland, Other
2 articles 2 photos 2 comments
Just beautiful, thankyou for writing this.

on Nov. 23 2012 at 1:47 pm
Aeliss-Novak-the-Zombie-Space-Pirate BRONZE, That Place With All The Trees And Stuff, Oregon
1 article 3 photos 150 comments

Favorite Quote:
Impossible is not a word, just a reason not to try.~Kutless

I'm going to smile and make you think I'm happy, I'm going to laugh, so you don't see me cry, I'm going to let you go in style, and even if it kills me - I'm going to smile.~Anonymous

OH MY GOD. Nuf' said.

on May. 9 2012 at 10:50 pm
27NikiNicole15 BRONZE, Butte, Montana
4 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
Behind every Beautiful girl,
Theres a Stupig guy,
Who did her Wrong,
And Made her Strong

This is an unbelievable piece of work, It really makes me think! You are an amazing writer!(:

on Jun. 21 2011 at 9:07 pm
RainOnMyWindowpane SILVER, Sacramento, California
5 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
The purpose of art is washing the dust of daily life off our souls. - Pablo Picasso

Fantastic! This is truly one of the best pieces I have read.

on May. 1 2011 at 11:04 pm
paigeforeman GOLD, Washington, District Of Columbia
18 articles 6 photos 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's kind of fun to do the impossible!"-Walt Disney
"It's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years."- Abraham Lincoln
"Be the change you wish to see in the world."-Gandhi
"The truth is out there."-The X-Files

I love the imagry in this, it's great and you are an amazing writer. Write a book someday will you? I would buy it! Again, great job and very inspirational!

on Mar. 18 2011 at 5:13 pm
bekahtrib SILVER, Berwyn, Illinois
9 articles 0 photos 37 comments
Your writing style is breath-taking. You write with such edge, you truly inspire me. Very nice piece.

on Feb. 22 2011 at 2:24 pm
.iloveyou. GOLD, Evansville, Wyoming
14 articles 0 photos 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
"There are but two certainties in life; death and taxes." Ben Franklin

Today i am a girl with two white socks and no self esteem, but tomorrow it will be different. Thank you. Great piece.

on Jul. 17 2010 at 5:10 pm
toxic.monkey SILVER, Tashkent, Other
6 articles 0 photos 210 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Homo homini lupus"

love it! it's just really good both in content and style.

on Jun. 27 2010 at 1:55 am
SerenityMine BRONZE, Not Saying, California
2 articles 0 photos 156 comments
WOW.  You are such a talented author with an AMAZING writing style!!  Keep it up! 

on Jun. 22 2010 at 11:15 am
PoWWow17 BRONZE, Munster Hamelet, Other
1 article 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
Listen to the musn'ts, child, listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me...Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.

sorry. i thought you were my best friend.

But i really did like the peice.


on Jun. 22 2010 at 11:14 am
PoWWow17 BRONZE, Munster Hamelet, Other
1 article 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
Listen to the musn'ts, child, listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me...Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.

MAllory VAGUE! ;) jkjk Its really good I love you

on Jun. 7 2010 at 4:45 pm
I am in awe. That was an amazing piece of writing. Very thought provoking. :D Keep writing, you're very good. :)

Maggs said...
on Jun. 5 2010 at 11:19 pm
this is really, really good, you should keep writing, really, loved it!

TripLikeMe said...
on Jun. 5 2010 at 9:53 pm
Absolutely brilliant writing style, very thought-evoking, and very passionate!

on Apr. 14 2010 at 10:53 am
davina kahen BRONZE, Greenvale, New York
1 article 0 photos 7 comments
this is beyond amazing. i love it soo much. its incredible. you have an amazing talent and should never quit writing. because you are a brilliant writer with lots of talent

on Dec. 9 2009 at 11:56 am
IsobelFree DIAMOND, Hamilton, Other
71 articles 20 photos 296 comments

Favorite Quote:
"As long as there is open road, the familiar has the most formidable competitor." - Anonymous

I love this so much. I love how poetic the whole article was, how wonderful and professional your language sounds, and the whole sock metaphor things is awesome! You did a great job. Keep it up! C: